Party Leaving to Gun Flashcards by Casey Tunison

LIONEL: Well I…

Please, we don’t have much time.

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LIONEL: It’s just…

If you aren’t going to help me, I have to know now.

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LIONEL: I want to help you. I don’t know you, but I want to help you.

Thanks.

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LIONEL: I’m willing to help you. But marriage? Isn’t that asking a lot?

Ok. Let’s forget all of them for a minute and do it ourselves.

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LIONEL: Do what ourselves?

Take this ring.

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LIONEL: What ring? You’re not holding anything.

Pretend. Colin has the real one.

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MAY: Pretend. Colin has the real one.
LIONEL: All right.

Now repeat after me; with this ring…

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LIONEL: With this ring…

I thee wed…

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LIONEL: I thee wed…

To have and to hold from this day forth…

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LIONEL: Wait a minute.

Please, there isn’t much time.

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LIONEL: But I think -

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD…

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LIONEL: To have and to hold…

From this day forth…

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LIONEL: From this day forth…

Till death do us part.

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LIONEL: Till death do us part…?

Now you give me the ring.

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LIONEL: What ring?

Pretend, for heaven’s sake!

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LIONEL: Here. (HANDS MAY THE RING)

With this ring, I thee wed, to have and to hold, from this day forth till death do us part.

Mrs Lionel Stark. I like that.

LIONEL: I just want to know what this is all about.

I just couldn’t stand it anymore! It was time to take some positive action.

LIONEL: Stand what?

Being single.

I wouldn’t mind being an old maid if I were older, but right now, in these awful middle years, it’s like I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing! But the BTP put a lot of things into focus for me.

LIONEL: The BTP?

Bridal Terrorism Party.

MAY: Bridal Terrorism Party.
LIONEL: I don’t understand.

There was this study a couple of years ago that said a woman over the age of thirty-five would more likely be the victim of a terrorist attack than get married. The BTP was formed to make that report false. There is an eighty-seven percent success rate in BTP marriages.

MAY: … success rate in BTP marriages.
LIONEL: Really?

Really. In the orientation program, we’re trained to spot certain characteristics that are ideal in a husband.

MAY: … characteristics that are ideal in a husband.
LIONEL: Like?

… I’m not at liberty to say. But rest assured, we don’t just settle – we choose our victims carefully.

LIONEL: But maybe instead of picking out someone you don’t know, you might have met someone who you connected with?

It hasn’t happened yet.

MAY: It hasn’t happened yet.
LIONEL: Ever?

Oh, a few close calls along the way, but I like this idea better.

LIONEL: But marriage?

It'll help me put my life into focus! Desperate times call for desperate action.

LIONEL: I see. And marrying me will help?

It just might.

LIONEL: I suppose I should give it time.

It's always important to give new things a chance.

MAY: It's always important to give new things a chance. LIONEL: Right.

So... marriage will be new to both of us, right? We'll be starting our life together! Where do we live?

MAY: Where do we live? LIONEL: We??

Yes, where do we live?

LIONEL: Well, I'll tell you quite frankly I'm not inclined to go along with this.

I see.

LIONEL: I think that I'm just going to walk away from here, ok?

I don't think that's a good idea.

LIONEL: Your sister said there were two possibilities over by the reservoir. Why don't you check them out?

My mind's made up.

LIONEL: Sorry I can't help you.

You can and you will. So where do we live? Now you'll take me seriously, won't you?