. Social Expectations and Love: Flashcards
overview
In Valentine, Carol Ann Duffy challenges traditional ideas of love and relationships by rejecting clichéd symbols like roses and hearts. The theme of Social Expectations and Love is explored through unusual imagery, a raw and sometimes unsettling tone, and a structure that mirrors the unpredictability of real love. Duffy’s poem is powerful because it forces readers to question what love really means beyond surface-level romance.
“Not a red rose or a satin heart.”
The poem opens with a rejection of tradition: “Not a red rose or a satin heart.” This immediately shows how Duffy criticises the commercialised and stereotypical expectations society has around love. The blunt, one-line sentence creates a stark tone and reflects her refusal to conform. It also sets the reader up for a deeper, more uncomfortable version of love that doesn’t rely on gifts or gestures.
“It is a moon wrapped in brown paper”
The metaphor “It is a moon wrapped in brown paper” contrasts natural beauty with something plain or ordinary. This shows how real love is hidden beneath the surface—not always glamorous, but meaningful. The “moon” symbolises romance and emotional light, but “brown paper” reminds us that love isn’t always pretty or packaged perfectly. Duffy challenges the idea that love has to look a certain way to be real.
“It will blind you with tears”
The line “It will blind you with tears” uses strong emotional imagery to show the pain that love can cause. The simile “like a lover” adds to the idea that love isn’t just sweet—it’s also intense, raw, and sometimes harmful. The tone here is almost warning, as if the speaker is saying that love has consequences that we’re often told to ignore.
“a wobbling photo of grief”,
Another powerful image is “a wobbling photo of grief”, which shows how love distorts reality and can lead to emotional instability. The word “grief” here is unexpected—it reminds us that love can lead to loss and sadness. This goes against the happy, perfect version of love often shown in media or expected in society.
“fierce kiss”
“possessive and faithful.”
Later in the poem, the onion is described as having a “fierce kiss” that is “possessive and faithful.” These intense, almost violent words reflect a type of love that is consuming and even overwhelming. Instead of romanticising passion, Duffy shows how it can be both comforting and dangerous. The possessiveness also hints at toxic elements in relationships, again challenging the perfect-love narrative.
“Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring, if you like. Lethal.
Finally, the metaphor “Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring, if you like. Lethal.” is especially shocking. Duffy links the idea of marriage—usually seen as the peak of romantic love—with danger and death. The word “lethal” suggests that commitment can feel like a trap, not a dream. This completely flips the traditional idea of marriage as a goal or happy ending.
structure
The structure of the poem is free verse, with irregular stanzas and short, sharp lines. This reflects how love doesn’t follow rules or stay neat. The enjambment creates a flowing, emotional tone, while isolated lines like “Take it.” are commanding and direct. These sudden, abrupt moments make the reader pause and feel the emotional weight of the speaker’s message. The poem’s structure mirrors the unpredictable nature of love—both beautiful and painful, gentle and violent.
context
In terms of context, Duffy was the first female Poet Laureate and often wrote about challenging societal norms, especially around gender roles and relationships. Valentine fits this perfectly. It was written in the 1990s when traditional gender roles in relationships were being questioned more openly. By giving an onion instead of flowers or chocolate, Duffy shows that true love can’t be bought or faked. She uses the onion as a symbol of truth and honesty, instead of playing into what society expects.
conclusion
In conclusion, Valentine is a bold and unconventional love poem that forces us to think differently about what love really means. Through short but powerful quotes like “not a red rose,” “blind you with tears,” and “lethal,” Duffy uses shocking imagery, raw tone, and unpredictable structure to expose the dark, complex side of love that social expectations often hide. The poem’s message is clear: real love isn’t always pretty, and we shouldn’t pretend it is.
