7. Fate and Destiny in Relationships: Flashcards
overview
Carol Ann Duffy’s poem Valentine explores the theme of fate and destiny in relationships in an unconventional way, rejecting traditional romantic symbols in favour of an onion. Throughout the poem, Duffy presents love as something powerful, inevitable, and sometimes destructive, showing how relationships can be bound by deeper forces than just romance.
“It will blind you with tears”.
One quote that links to fate is “It will blind you with tears”. The use of violent imagery and the verb blind suggests that love is something out of our control—it has the power to hurt us without warning, like fate does. The simile “like a lover” makes this pain feel unavoidable, suggesting that heartbreak is destined to be a part of love.
“a moon wrapped in brown paper”.
Another quote is “a moon wrapped in brown paper”. The moon is a classic symbol of fate, cycles, and time. Duffy uses this metaphor to show that love is hidden beneath plain appearances, but it follows natural rhythms—just like the phases of the moon, love changes and evolves over time. This reflects how relationships move through stages we can’t always predict or control.
“Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring” i
The line “Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring” is another key example. The noun platinum symbolises something precious and lasting, but the verb shrink suggests a kind of narrowing or trapping. Duffy presents marriage not as the perfect happy ending, but as something that might limit freedom. This reflects how destiny can lead people into committed relationships, but not always in a perfect or happy way.
“possessive and faithful”.
Another powerful quote is “possessive and faithful”. These adjectives are usually positive in love, but Duffy puts possessive first to suggest a darker tone. Fate here feels more like being claimed or owned by love, showing that deep relationships might trap people emotionally, even if they’re meant to last.
“cling to your knife”
In the line “cling to your knife”, the knife symbolises danger, pain, and destruction. The verb cling shows how love, once it touches someone, can’t easily be removed. It’s like a curse or fate that follows you even after the relationship ends. The violent tone adds to the idea that destiny in relationships can be fatal or harmful.
“I am trying to be truthful”
Finally, the phrase “I am trying to be truthful” shows how the speaker is accepting the harsh reality of love. The use of direct, simple language creates an honest and serious tone. It shows that, unlike fake romantic gifts, real love is intense and life-changing. This reflects the idea that fate pushes people towards love that is raw and real, not just happy or beautiful.
.structure
The structure of the poem also helps show the theme of fate and destiny. It’s written in free verse, without a regular rhyme or rhythm, which could symbolise how love doesn’t follow rules or expectations—just like fate. The short lines and stanzas create a fragmented and unpredictable feeling, reflecting the chaos and uncontrollable nature of relationships. The repetition throughout the poem acts like a vow or ritual, almost as if the speaker is bound to reveal a deeper truth about love, whether the listener wants to hear it or not.
context
In terms of context, Duffy is known for challenging traditional ideas of love. She wrote this poem during a time when commercialised romance (like Valentine’s Day) was becoming more popular. Instead of celebrating that, she explores the idea that relationships are shaped by deeper, darker forces. Fate and destiny aren’t always happy or easy—they can be painful, consuming, and even dangerous. Duffy was also the first female Poet Laureate and often gave voice to more realistic or alternative experiences, including same-sex relationships and non-traditional love.
conclusion
In conclusion, Valentine explores how fate and destiny play a powerful role in relationships. Duffy shows that love isn’t always sweet or romantic—it can be painful, intense, and inescapable. Through metaphors like the onion, violent imagery, and an unpredictable structure, she presents love as something that takes over our lives, whether we like it or not. The tone is honest, sometimes bleak, but always realistic, proving that destiny in love isn’t always a fairytale—it can also be a force that changes us forever.
