Single Parent, Divorced and Blended Families Flashcards
Custody?
Important to assess custodial rights of parent when they inquire about services.
Advantages of Growing Up in “non-traditional” family.
- Adaptability and flexibility
- More opportunities for finding a charismatic adult.
- Kids have more responsibilities in single parents households which can help them to develop important life skills.
Who Gets Divorced?
- couples who marry under 20.
- people who are less educated or have less income.
- people in the west have higher divorce rates than people in the east.
- divorce rate among AAs is twice that of whites and latinos.
- Asian Americans have the lowest divorce rates.
- Catholics and Jews have lower divorce rates than protestants.
Divorce as a Life Event
- Not necessarily a disaster nor inconsequential.
- Ranks at the top of list of stressful life events.
- A transitional crisis that interrupts developmental tasks and requires adjustment from family.
- A traumatic decision to make; the process of disengaging from one’s partner starts before the decision is made.
- rarely a joint decision between partners.
Process of Divorce
- 5 to 3 year transition process.
- Can bring out the worst in people.
- results depend on how it is handle.
The Transition Framework (Disorganization–>Reorganization)
Individual Cognition Family Meta-Cognition The Separation Systemic Reorganization Systemic Redefinition
Individual Cognition
The Decision
-A process of leave taking may go on for years
-May come in for couples therapy to ease guilt or hand off their partner for caretaking.
The leavee is more vulnerable and angry.
Family Meta-Cognition
The Announcement
- Sometimes this shocks the system into taking steps towards change.
- Betrayal is common
- Vacillation is common and confusing for children-encourage parents to not share with kids until they are sure.
- Loss of idealized family.
The Separation
Dismantling the Nuclear Family:
- orderly separations are the least destructive
- clear boundaries are helpful
- keeping things as stable as possible for children.
- Children need to know what the structure will be!
Systemic Reorganization
The Binuclear Family:
-The family remains a family but with a different structure.
Types of Co-parenting relationships
- Perfect Pals
- Cooperative Colleagues
- Angry Associates, have trouble separating parental from marital issues. More structure needed for this type of relationship.
- Fiery Foes- cannot co-parent
- Dissolved Duos-one parent has left completely.
Systemic Redefinition
The family remains a family. New rules and rituals that are flexible with life transitions must be established.
The Binuclear Family
- Establish ground rules for living separately
- Rules within and across various subsystems.
- How rigid or flexible will depend on how the parents cooperate. Greater conflict=more rules and rigidity.
The Good Divorce
- The Family remains a family
- The negative effects on children are minimized
- The ex-spouses integrate divorce into their lives in healthy way.
Children’s needs at divorce
- To have basic economic and psychological needs met.
- Support in maintaining relationships with members of their extended families.
- Parents who are supportive and cooperative.