Families at Mid-Life

Question 1

MidLife Crisis-Myth or Real?

Answer 1

Having a crisis is not normative, but having a period of transition and self reflection is. Involves getting over getting older. -Identity crisis if there was foreclosure in adolescence.

Question 2

Symptoms of Mid life crisis?

Answer 2

Symptoms include: anxiety, depression, dis-ease, dissatisfaction, disillusionment, insomnia, depletion,

Question 3

Generally people report (at mid life)

Answer 3

Feelings of well-being and greater satisfaction, sense of self control over many parts of life.

Question 4

Men vs. Women

Answer 4

gender cross over-women become more assertive and man more giving and expressive.

Question 5

Physical Aging: “The little death”

Answer 5

Shifts in physical and mental agility: memory, reflexes, energy level, speed.
Body changes: metabolism, muscle mass, skin elasticity, hair loss/growth/graying, sensory loss, bladder control, loss of bone density,

Question 6

Ageism

Answer 6

Stronger for women

Question 7

Menopause

Answer 7

• cultural stereotype of raving maniac
• perimenopausal symptoms start 10 years earlier and may be more severe.
• risk of heart disease, hot flashes, loss of lubrication, insomnia, thinning hair, loss of libido, fuzzy thinking, osteoporosis.
• more than half of women report no symptoms and even post menopausal zest.

Question 8

Viropause or Andropause

Answer 8

• Testosterone level drops in midlife
• causes physical changes: erections can take longer to achieve, be less firm, take more stimulation. Orgasms can be harder to achieve and less forceful. Prostrates can be enlarged, testicles shrink, sac drops.
• physiological consequences due to socialization: to be competitive and always ready for sex can lead to erectile dysfunction.

Question 9

Emotional development at midlife

Answer 9

• age of mastery
• increase in wisdom, judiciousness, compassion, depth of perspective, complexity, mad intuition
• feeling responsible

Question 10

The Mid-life identity crisis

Answer 10

• internal push to become whole
• own and acknowledge shadow parts of self
• further individuation and authenticity through development of real self
• frightening process because it can involve letting go of who we once new ourselves to be.

Question 11

For women

Answer 11

Growth in master, identity, and voice

• adoption of feminist identity and higher educational levels are associated with midlife well-being
• women who experienced traditional role regrets but do not make changes at midlife show higher rates of depression.

Question 12

For men

Answer 12

More apt to struggle on their own

• Can come to a new appreciation of intimacy and connection.
• confront cultural constraints of masculinity
• increasing comfort with emotion
• reconnect with family, friends and community
• take mentoring roles

Question 13

Disillusionment/Life Reanalysis

Answer 13

• financial stability for the future is a looming reality.
• external markers of competence become less available and less satisfying.
• mourning lost opportunities and life choices
• reappraisal of current life priorities
• search fir meaning.

Question 14

New life structures

Answer 14

• making this time a quest NOT a crisis
• focus in understanding feelings and knowing what you want before you act.
• focus on coming into ones own and living an authentic life.

Question 15

SES and Cultural Issues

Answer 15

• feeling of having made a contribution does not depend on SES
• economic concerns can take precedence over internal concerns
• physical health can overshadow other issues.

Question 16

Process Assignments

Answer 16

• Patience-this can take time
• mindfulness: loss your mind and come to your senses
• avoid numbing activities
• take some solitude when you can
• practice listening
• men:talk to other men
• think, write, be creative
• stay active, exercise and care for your body
• break ruts and do something different
• confront your fears
• cherish your relationships and contribute to your community.

Question 17

Parent Relationships at mid-life

Answer 17

• Shift in roles as child becomes the caretaker
• forgiveness and resolution of old conflicts
• further opportunities for differentiation
• get to know your parents as people and gather info

Question 18

Sibling and extended family relationships at mid-life.

Answer 18

• Opportunities to resolve old issues
• roles can change
• reconnection can feel more important.

Question 19

Couplehood

Answer 19

• lack of positive models for older adult love.
• as couples launch children they may face an increase of intimacy/connection OR problems with disconnection.
• traditional women may deal with pushed down anger and resentment or push for a more egalitarian marriage.
• differentiation remains key

Question 20

Uncoupled persons

Answer 20

• May deal with feeling of stigma about what is wrong with me
• solidifying social support networks: how do you meet your needs for intimacy?
• dating: May be a better partner but may be more picky about mate selection.
  
  • Internet dating expands opportunity

Question 21

Children

Answer 21

Last chance children are now possible with advances in fertility meds

• dealing with regrets: accepting and owning mistakes and self-forgiveness
• differentiation of children and loss of structure of parenthood.

Question 22

Launching and Young adulthood

Answer 22

-increasing numbers of young adults do not feel responsible for self in 20s.
Many return home due to economic issues.
-loss of innocence: the narrative you create for how things worked out.

Question 23

Cohort specificity

Answer 23

-the historical moments that shape a generation.

Question 24

Problems at young adulthood.

Answer 24

• anxiety about choices without the structure of school
• increased sense of persons, responsibility without as many rewards.
• problems are not taken seriously by others.
• symptoms: depression, anxiety, self doubt, procrastination, escaping into avoiding/numbing activities

Question 25

Identity development

Answer 25

• achieved
• foreclosed (accepting identity without questioning it)
• moratorium (in process)
• diffuse (completely not dealing with it)

Question 26

Developmental Tasks (of Young Adult)

Answer 26

• What do I do? Job? Career?
• -role of serendipity/sychronicity
• -knowing one’s own priorities
• -trial and error
• Independence
• -economic
• -life skills-household and life management
• -emotion/independent decision making
• Relationships
• -finding significant other and potential life partner.
• -developing a social network
• -Differentiation from parents. shift to adult/adult relationship while maintaining connection.

Question 27

SES/Cultural Issues

Answer 27

real and perceived opportunities can be limited by SES and minority status.

• hard to get a job without without education/computer skills
• little practice in harsh ghetto environment for learning soft skills of customer service skills.
• issue of maintaining respect in entry level jobs while invisible young black/hispanic men.
• long term dreams can be discouraged and seen as unrealistic.
• breaking the poverty cycle can be seen as disloyal.
• Launching will vary according to cultural influences.
• Is and how early is the individual expected to contribute financially to the FOO.
• Are young people expected to remain at home until marriage.

Question 28

Role of Therapist (for Families at MidLife)

Answer 28

• Validation of Problems
• Mirroring
• Supporting the need to fail as part of life’s process and growth as a person (Don’t let fear run your life).
• Helping them to develop realistic goals and follow through.
• Point out self defeating constraints.
• Coaching through or meeting with FOO.