Scene 1 Flashcards
FB: Good evening, are you lost?
Not Lost, just early
SE: there’s a place with good pizza up the street, if you need to kill time.
I know what time the show starts. I’m registered to compete.
FB: And I’m Mark Lender. Facebender
Ed, Gabe, Mark
GT: Shreddy Eddy, Golden Thunder, and Facebender
Those are your stage names?
SE: those are our personas. Important distinction
But you’re not onstage
FB: it has already begun, you see.
I guess
SE: when we’re among competitors, we go by our personas.
I’m Nina
SE: what do you go by on stage?
Are stage names mandatory?
SE: but like you gotta have one to protect yourself
From what?
SE: from everything outside the music
Oh my god
GT: so if you start to doubt that you can do it, you remember that she can.
I’m in a real band. I actually play the real guitar. So I’m not, you know, super worried about this. You guys seem really invested but how talented could anybody here tonight really be?
TN: but how talented could anybody tonight really be?
Oh come on don’t be like that. Do you guys really take yourselves this seriously?
FB: ourselves, rarely. Air guitar, inevitably.
Well, shit. I didn’t mean to insult anyone.
SE: we just don’t want to talk to you anymore
You’re just going to ignore me for 3 hours? That’s a long time.
FB: Miss, may I ask what drew you to our conclave this evening?
Conclave?
SE: why did you register? Why are you here?
It was kind of a spur of the moment impulse. I was walking down the street yesterday and I saw a poster and I just…thought I’d see what this is all about.
SE: there are a few dicks in the mix but for the most part everything’s chill.
I can be chill
FB: Do you swear it?
Swear
SE: what song are you performing?
Oh. Um I thought I’d do don’t stop believin.
SE: are you serious right now?
What? It’s an iconic song.
GT: or deliver any kind of crucial message
Neal Schon is a guitar prodigy! He played with Santana at fifteen
SE: you have to play something that blasts your soul
Fine then I’ll do sweet child of mine. You can’t argue with the merits of that song.
SE: he started writing it as a string skipping guitar experience
And it ended up being the band’s best-charting song in the US
GT: which is why everybody and his brother has already competed with it
Look, I can play the Guns N’ Roses song in my sleep. I don’t have time to rehearse something new
GT: if you pick the wrong song, rehearsal is kind of irrelevant anyway.
Wow. Helpful. Thanks.
SE: a boring over played trite ass song only works if your cut is subversive.
My cut?
SE: I have like fifty different song cuts on my phone. Do you want to use one?
I’m good thanks. I’m just gonna to get up there and do what I do.
SE: but… this is not what you do
Close enough
GT: if you lose tonight, you can try again at the Eastern conference finals in a few months
Wait wait, you guys aren’t from here?
GT: Big sky Montana
You guys came from out of state? To state island? For air guitar?
GT: the crowd will be pissed off before I even get up there.
He’s still competing tonight, right? D-Vicious?
SE: No. He was never going to compete tonight.
But his name is on the poster.
CQ: woof
Kill me. Somebody kill me
