relationships👩❤️💋👨 (duck) Flashcards
what did duck propose?
that the end of a relationship is a process of events that takes time n goes through 4 phases.
each phase is one or both partners reaching a threshold at a point which their perception of the relationship changes. the road to breakup begins once the parent is dissatisfied w the relationship
what is the intra-psych phase?
what’s the threshold?
focus on cog processes occurring in individual, where the dissatisfied partner broods on the reasons for their dissatisfaction, centred mostly on their partners shortcomings. the partner mulls their thoughts over privately and may share them w a friend. they weigh up pros and cons of relationship and evaluate these against alternatives. they make plans for future.
I can’t stand this anymore, something has to change
what is the dyadic phase?
what is the threshold?
can’t avoid talking bout the relationship any longer. there is a series of confrontations over time, where relationship is discussed and dissatisfactions r aired. characterised by anxiety, hostility, complaints about lack of equity,
there r 2 possible outcomes, repair relationship or or continue breaking up. if the rescue attempts fail, another threshold is reached.
come to conclusion they would be justified in withdrawing
what is the social phase?
what’s the threshold?
main focus is on wider processes involving couples social networks. partners seek support and try to forge pacts. mutual friends find they r expected to side with one. factions are formed. gossip is traded n encouraged. some friends provide reassurance and reinforcement. others are judgemental and blame one partner or the other. some may hasten the end of the relationship by providing previous secret info. some may still pinch in and try to help repair relationship. this usually is the point of no return.
the dissatisfied partner concludes they mean it.
what is the grave-dressing phase?
what’s the threshold?
focus on aftermath. when relationship is dead. coming up w favourable story about breakdown for public consumption. allows partners to save face and maintain positive reputation, usually at the expense of other partner. gossip plays a role in this phase. its crucial that each partner tried to retain some social credit by blaming circumstances, your partner or other ppl. or everything else but themselves.
also involves creating personal story u can live with which may differ from the public one. this is more todo with tidying up memories of the relationship, in which a certain degree of rewriting the history may be necessary. the traITS u found endearing or exciting in partner now become reinterpreted in a negative way. partners may just agree they weren’t compatible. dissatisfied partner concludes its time to get a new life.
its now inevitable
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2 weakness of ducks phase model?
cultural bias- model and research are based on experience of relationships in individualist cultures, esp in USA. Moghaddam et al said relationships in individualist cultures are voluntary and frequently come to an end. collectivist culture relationships are more likely to be obligatory, less easy to end and involve wider family, and in some cases r arranged. the whole conception of relationships differs between cultures, thus its unlikely that the process of relationship breakdown is identical across diff cultures.
methodological issues as model is retrospective. ppts generally Give their experiences of breakdown process sometime after relationship has ended. therefore they may not always be able to recall accurate events of breakup. early stages of breakup tend to be distorted. researchers are reluctant to study the early stages of breakup due to potentially making things worse. meaning that ducks model is based off research that ignored the early point of process thus its incomplete description of how relationships end.
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strength of ducks model?
real life application- as it helps us identify and understand the stages of relationship breakdown but also suggests various ways of reversing it. model is useful as it recognises that different repair strategies are more effective at particular point in the breakdown than others. eg, intra-psychic stage could be encouraged to focus their brooding on positive aspects of their partner. also dyadic phase is communication, any attempt to improve this and perhaps improve wider social skills could be beneficial in fostering great stability in relationship. neither of these strategies is likely to be of much use in later phases of breakdown. such insights could be used in relationship counselling, a real life application.
