Relationships Flashcards
Explanation of partner preferences
Key study : Buss 1989
- Procedure – study involved over 10,000 people form 37 different cultures, participants were asked to rate each of 18 characteristics on how important they would be in choosing a mate, 4 point scale was used
Findings
- resources – women more than men desired mates who were good financial prospects, therefore they had ambition
- physical attractiveness – men placed more importance on physical attractiveness which provides cues to a women health and hence her fertility and reproductive value
- youth – men wanted mates who were younger than them therefore they values fertility as potential mates
- other important characteristics – both sexes wanted mates who were intelligent and kind
The nature of sexual selection
- developed by Charles Darwin,
- this theory explains the evolution of characteristics that confer a reproductive advantage as opposed to a survival advantage
- it’s ability to leave more descendants
intrasexual selection
- individuals of one sex must outcompete other members of their sex in order to gain access to members of the other sex
- successful individuals are able to mate and so are able to pass on their genes therefore whatever characteristics lead to success becomes more widespread in the gene pool by virtue of the reproductive advantage
intersexual selection
- members of one sex evolve preferences for desirable qualities in potential mates
- members of the opposite sex who possess these characteristics will then gain a mating advantage over those who do not
Sexual selection and long-term mate preferences
- genetic quality of the mate is important, high quality mate is more likely to produce an offspring which is higher quality and the individuals genes are much more likely to be passed on, therefore for females it means that they look for males that are able to invest resources in her, are able to physically protect her and her children and show promise as a good parent and are sufficiently compatible to ensure minimal cost to her and her children
- however males do not give their resources indiscriminately, therefore males are most attracted to those who display fertility
Physical attractiveness
The Matching hypothesis
- This is that when initiating romantic relationships we chose partners whose social desirability equals their own, when choosing a partner individuals must first assess their own value in the eyes of a potential romantic partner and then select the best available candidates who would most likely be attracted to them
- Matching and physical attractiveness - over time it has come to be associated specifically with matching on physical attractiveness alone, we would expect that people tend to pair up with those that are similar in attractiveness as these mating choices are realistic as each individual is influenced by having their affection reciprocated they must consider a number of different factors including what the person desire
Key study: Walster et al
- Procedure – advertised a computer dance for new students at the university of Minnesota, from the large number of students who purchased tickets 177 male and 170 females were randomly selected to take part in the study, when they came to pick up their tickets four student accomplices surreptitiously rate each of them for physical attractiveness. Participants were then asked to complete a lengthy questionnaire which would be used to allocate their ideal partner for the evening but in fact the partnering was done completely randomly, during the intermission they were asked to complete a questionnaire about their dates with a follow up questionnaire distributed 6 months after the dance
- Findings – the findings did not support the matched hypotheses, once the participants had met their dates and regardless of their own physical attractiveness they responded more positively to physically attractive dates and were more likely to arrange further dates other factors such as personality and intelligence did not affect them
Self disclosure
Self-disclosure
- Self disclosure is when a person reveals intimate personal information about themselves to another person
- It was used to describe the extent to which a person reveals personal information about themselves, there intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences to another person
- It’s an important process in the development of romantic relationships with greater disclosure leading to greater feelings of intimacy, people feel closer to those who disclose intimate details of themselves than to people who do this to a lesser extent
Research on self disclosure
- Research makes a distinction between self-disclosure given (ones own personal thoughts, feelings and experiences) and self-disclosure received (information received by others)
- Research showed that the level of self-disclosure received in a romantic relationship was a better predictor of liking and loving that what is given
- Self-disclosure was positively related to relationship stability and whether or not the couple stayed together for longer than 4 years
Different types of self-disclosure
- May take different forms for example disclosing ones taste in music and ones inner fears are different, it is the type of self-disclosure that predicts the relationship
- Research found that self-disclosure of personal experiences, disappointments and accomplishments as well as information about previous sexual relationships have a greater influence on relationship satisfaction than more neutral types of self-disclosure
Norms of self-disclosure
- There are norms of self-disclosure for example the fact that people should engage in only a moderately personal level of self-disclosure in the early stages of a relationship
- Derlega and Grzelak suggest that these should be neither so personal that the discloser appears indiscriminate for disclosing them to a relative stranger nor so impersonal that the lister is unable to know the discloser better as a result
- Norm of reciprocity gives much of our social behaviour, the more one person discloses to another the more disclosure is expected in return
Key study: Sprecher et al
- Procedure – participants were 156 undergraduate students at a US uni paired into two person dyads, 2/3 of these dyads were female- female and 1/3 were male- female, each dyad of unacquainted individuals engaged in a self-disclosure task over skype, in the reciprocal condition dyad members immediately took turns asking questions and disclosing and in the non- reciprocal condition one person asked questions in the first interaction while the other person disclosed the two switched roles in the second condition, after the interaction the researchers assessed liking, closeness, perceived similarity and enjoyment
- Findings – individuals in the reciprocal condition dyads reported more liking, closeness, perceived similarity and enjoyment than in the non-reciprocal dyads, therefore self – disclosure reciprocity is more likely to lead positive interpersonal outcomes than extended reciprocity
Attraction: Filter Theory
- Kerckhoff and Davis’s filter theory of attraction suggests that we choose romantic partners by using a series of filters that narrow down the field of availables from which we might eventually make our choice
- Different filters are prominent at different stages of partner selection
- During early stages demographic similarities are most important factors in initiating a relationship and as the relationship develops a similarity of attitudes and underlying values become more important in determining whether or not the relationship continue
- Then they decide if they are compatible and whether the personality traits complement the individuals own traits
Social demography
- This refers to age, social background, and geographical location which determine the likelihood of individuals meeting in the first place
- Social circumstance reduce the range of people that are realistically available for us to meet, and the range is fairly restricted as we are more likely to come into contact with people from our ethnic social and educational groups and those who live geographically close to us, these are the people who we find more attractive as we have more in common with them this acts as a first filtering stages
Similarity in attitudes
- Second filter stage involves individuals psychological characteristics and their agreement on attitudes and basic values
- Kerckhoff and Davis found that similarity in attitudes and values was the central importance to the start of a relationship and was the predictor to the relationship becoming stable
- Partners who are very different to the individual in terms of their attitudes and values are not considered suitable for a continuing relationship
Complementarity of needs
- This is the final filter
- People who have different needs like each other as they provide each other with mutual satisfaction of these opposed needs
- This is important as it ensures that their needs are likely to be met,
- For example, young women who lack economic resources are more likely to be attracted to those who have a good financial prospect and therefore may be good providers
- If one partner is low in a particular attribute then the other should be high in order to compensate
Key study: Kerchkhoff and Davis
- Procedure – Kerchoff and Davis carried out a longitudinal study of 94 dating couples at duke university, each partner in the couple completed two questionnaires assessing the degree to which they shared attitudes and values and the degree of need complimentary, 7 months later the couples completed a further questionnaires assessing how close they felt to their partner compared to how they felt at the beginning of the study, they believed this would indicate permanence in the relationship
- Findings – in the initial analysis of results, only similarity appeared to be related to partner closeness, however when the researchers divided the couples into short term (those who had dated less than 18 months) and long term (those who had dated for more than 18 months) differences emerged. Those who had been seeing each other short term the similarity of attitudes and values was the most significant predictor of how close they felt to their partner whereas those who had been dating long term only complementary of needs was predicative of how close the individual felt to their partner
Social exchange theory
Profit and loss
- This is the assumption that all social behaviour is a series of exchanges in which individuals attempt to maximise their rewards and minimise their costs and people exchange in the expectation that they will earn a profit that exceeds the costs
- Rewards in a relationship may be companionship, sex, and being cared for
- Costs may include effort, financial intervention and time wasted
- Rewards minus cost equals the outcome
Comparison level
- In order to judge whether one person offers something better or worse than we might expect from another Thibaut and Kelley proposed we develop a comparison level this is the standard against which all our relationships are judged
- Comparison level is the result of experience in our other relationship
- If the profit exceeds the CL then the relationship will be worthwhile and the other person seen as an attractive partner whereas if the final result is negative then it will make the partner less attractive
- Someone who has had unsatisfying relationships then the CL will be low therefore they may be perfectly happy in a poor relationship whereas those with a high CL would have high expectations and exit relationships that do not exceed or match those high expectations
Comparison level for alternatives
- Although individuals satisfaction with a relationship depends on the assessed profit received from that relationship relative to the comparison level this is not the only factor that determines the likelihood of them staying in the relationship
- Theyre our other factors such as the comparison level for alternatives (CLA) this is where one person weighs up a potential increase in rewards from a different partner, minus any costs associated with ending the current relationship
- A new relationship can take place of the current one if its anticipated profit level in significantly higher
- An individual will be committed to their current relationship when the overall benefits and cost are perceived as being greater than what might be possible in an alternative relationship whereas if alternative options are more appealing they may be tempted to leave the relationship
- Relationships become less stable if one or both of the partners have a lower level of dependence on that relationship as a result their degree of dependency may experience distress because one or both lacks commitment
Key study: Kurdek and Schmitt
- Procedure – Kurdek and Schmitt investigated the importance of social exchange factors in determining relationship quality in 185 couples, these compromised of 44 heterosexual married couples, 35 co-habiting heterosexual studies, 50 same sex male couples and 56 same sex female couples, they each did not have children living with them and thye had to complete a questionnaire without discussing their answers with each other
- Findings – for each of the four different types of couple, greater relationship satisfaction was associated with: the perception of many benefits of the current relationship, seeing alternatives to the current relationship as less attractive, these findings showed that the factors that predict satisfaction in the same sex relationships are the same ones that predict satisfaction in heterosexual relationships
Equity Theory
Inequity and dissatisfaction
- It is an extension of social exchange theory
- Its central assumption is that people are most comfortable when they think that they are getting what they deserve from any relationship
- Therefore an equitable relationship should be one in which one partners benefits minus their costs equals their partners benefits less their costs
- Relationships which lack equity are associated with dissatisfaction, if people feel over-benefited they may experience pity and guilt whereas if they are under benefited they may experience anger and sadness
- The greater the inequity the more the dissatisfaction and stress
A timetable of equity and inequity in marriages
- Schafer and Keith – surveyed hundreds of married couples of all ages and noted those who felt that their marriages where inequitable due to an unfair division of domestic chores
- During child-rearing years wives felt under-benefited and husbands felt over-benefited therefore martial satisfaction dipped
- During honeymoon and without children both husband and wife felt equitable and satisfaction
- Hatfield and Rapson, suggested that how couples are concerned with reward and equity depends on the stage of the relationship, for example when they are in the initial stages of a relationship considerations of reward, fairness and equity are important however once they are committed they become less concerned about day to day reward
- Happily married people do not tend to keep score of how much they are giving and getting and couples in equitable relationships are less likely to risk extramarital affairs and there relationship lasts longer
Dealing with inequity
- If people perceive inequity in their relationships then they are moticated to restore it
1. Restoration of actual equity – individuals can restore equity by setting things right or urging their partners to do so
2. Restoration of psychological equity – couples in inequitable relationships can distort reality and convince themselves that things are perfectly fair just the way they are
3. If couples are unable to restore equity in their relationship they can leave it – this can be physically such as a divorce or emotionally such as no longer having feelings for their partner
Key study: Stafford and Canary
- Procedure – they were interested in how equity and satisfaction predicted the use of maintenance strategies typically used in marriages, asked over 200 married couples to complete measures of equity and relationship satisfaction, in addition each spouse was asked questions about their use of relationship maintenance strategies such as assurances, sharing tasks and positivity
- Findings – they found that satisfaction was highest for spouses who perceived their relationship to be equitable, followed by over benefited then under benefited partners, under benefited husbands reported lower levels of relationship maintenance strategies compared to equitable or over benefited husbands. Relationship between equity and martial happiness was complementary, equitable spouses tended to be happier so were more likely to engage in behaviours that contributed to their spouses sense of happiness
The Investment model
Satisfaction level
- This refers to the positive versus negative emotions experienced within a relationship, this is influenced by the extent to which the other person fulfils the individuals most important needs
Quality of alternatives
- This refers to the extent to which an individuals most important needs might be better fulfilled outside the current relationship
- An better alternative might lead an person away from their relationship but if alternatives are not available then they carry on with the other relationship
Investment size
- Rusbult proposed that investment size contributes to the stability of a relationship, and this is a measure of all the resources that are attached to the relationship and which would disappear if the relationship ended
- For example partners give time and energy, they share friends and belongings, they do this believing that It builds a strong foundation for the future and this also increases dependence and increases connections with the partner
Commitment level
- This is the likelihood that an involvement will persist, this is high in romantic partners and anticipate very little gain and high levels of loss if they were to leave the relationship
- Commitment is low when satisfaction levels in the relationship is low and the quality of alternatives is high
- When people are satisfied and feel tied to it because they have investments or have no suitable alternatives therefore they become dependent to the relationship
Key study: Le and Agnew (2003)
- Procedure – carried out a meta-analysis of 52 studies conducted between the late 1970s and the late 1990s, each of these studies had explored the different components of the investment model and the relation between them, this produced a total sample of over 11,000 participants from 5 countries
- Findings – across all the studies satisfaction level, quality of alternatives and investment size was highly correlated with relationship commitment. The correlation between satisfaction and commitment was 68 this was stronger than quality of alternatives 48, and investment size 46 and commitment.
Relationship Break down
Breakdown
- This is the first phase of Duck’s model of relationship breakdown
- Begins when one of the partners becomes distressed with the way the relationship is conducted
- Inequitable relationships are most likely to cause dissatisfaction, the person is no longer able to stand the dissatisfaction and this is the first step in the breakdown of the relationship
The intrapsychic phase
- The feelings of dissatisfaction leads to this phase
- This is characterised by consideration of whether they might be better off out of the relationship, if the individual feels burdened by feelings of resentment and a sense of being under benefited
- During this phase the individual may not say anything about the dissatisfaction but may express it in different ways such as social withdrawal or ending the relationship without discussing
The dyadic phage
- This is when individuals confront their partners and begin to discuss feelings of discontentment and the future
- They may discover that the partner also has concerns to air and these costs are incurred then the relationship is terminated
- Might be saved at this point if they are motivated to resolve and avoid a breakup or they may seek marital therapy in order to save their relationship
The social phase
- This is when the distress felt by the partners is made public making it harder for the two partners to deny that there is a problem with their relationship and harder to connect again
- Other may take sides, offer advice or support or mend any disputes between two sides, this may help resolve the issue or increase the speed of the break up
The grave-dressing phase
- This is when each partner must present themselves to others as being trustworthy and loyal in order to attract new partners, they create a representation of the failed relationship that paints their contribution favourably
- They may strategically reinterpret their view of the partner for example they may have been attracted to a rebellious nature but now see it as irresponsible
Virtual relationships in social media
Self-disclosure in virtual relationships
- Jourard (1971) proposed the concept of broadcasting self-disclosure to explain the difference between disclosure to a romantic partner and the sharing of personal information in a public situation
- Self-closure in the public domain involves individual presenting an edited verion of themselves
- When people use social networking sites they have different levels of self-disclosure depending on whether they are presenting information pubically or privately, people disclose sensitive information privately as they have increased control over disclosure to an individual whereas if they disclose to a wide audience they are more selective over what they share
Why do people self-disclose on the internet
- Most explanations for self-disclosure on the internet compared to face-to-face relationships have focused on the psychological effects of anonymity
- Individuals do not disclose until they are confident what they say will not be leaked to mutual acquaintances, but confidentiality may be violated due to rejection to what is disclosed
- Anonymity of the internet reduces the risks of disclosure without fear of being rejected or receiving sanction from other people
- We are more likely to disclose information to people we don’t know and will probably never see again
Absence of gating in virtual relationships
Gating in face to face relationships
- Personal factors like physical appearances and mannerisms tend to determine whom we approach and develop romantic relationships with
- Use age, ethnicity to categorise potential partners
- With internet relationships there is an absence of these fates which limit the normally the opportunities for shy or less socially skilled people to form relationships
Absence of gating and its consequences
- Barriers are not initially in evidence and so are less likely to stop potential relationships from happening
- So by removing that a persons true self is more likely to be active on the internet than in face to face
- Zhao et al, found that online social networks such as facebook can empower gated individuals to present identities that they hope to establish but are unable to in face to face situations, it allows people to create a more desirable self than their true identity
- Yurchisin et al – interviewed 11 online daters and found that these individuals tended to give accounts of their real and better selves in dating profiles as a way of attracting potential partners, so people admitted to stealing others images to make themselves more popular
Parasocial relationships
What is a parasocial relationship
- This is an individual who is attracted to another person (usually a celebrity) who is unaware of the existence of the other person who has created the relationship
An attachment theory explanation
There are three fundamental properties of adult attachment
- Proximity seeking – individuals attempt to reduce the distance between themselves and the attachment figure, they exhibit properties that enable them to say close for example they are likely to stay informed about the person and rearrange schedules to seem them on TV
- Secure base – the presence of the attachment figure provides a sense of security for the individual, with a PSR there is little or no chance of rejection from the attachment figure
- Protest at disruption – the individual becomes distressed when they are separated or loss of the attachment figure, for example when the BBC fired Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear many people signed a petition to bring him back and many fans highlighted that Clarkson had given their life “purpose,”
Attachment style
- Cole and Leets explained why some people are likely to develop PSR through concept of attachment
- Individuals with insecure-avoidant were more likely to enter a PSR, this may be because one of the concerns of avoidants is that one will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, therefore they turn to TV characters to satisfy their unrealistic and unmet rational needs
- But avoidants were least likely to enter a PSR with TV personalities as they are less likely to seek real PSR
The absorption addiction model
The nature of the parasocial relationship
- May for PSR due to lack of relationships in their own life and it can create a void which can be filled, it is also has very little demand and there is less chance of rejection than in a normal relationship
- Most people never go on beyond admiring an individual but some do and there are three steps in that
- Entertainment-social – fans are attracted to their favourite celebrity and will watch and keep up with them for the purposes of entertainment and gossip
- Intense-personal – this involves deeper level of involvement and reflects intensive and compulsive feelings about the celebrity
- Borderline-pathological - this levels is typified by empathy for the celebrity and identifying with the success and failures of the celebrity but it is also characterised by over identification and uncontrollable behaviours
From absorption to addiction
- Lange et al suggests that for some adolescents a difficult set of social circumstances lead them to become increasingly obsessed and this could lead them to believe that they have a special relationship with the celebrity
- This may even become addictive and lead the person to do uncontrollable behaviours in order to sustain satisfaction
- Initial interest is absorption but if the interest is subsequently maintained and this is done by psychological addiction