Reading Part 2 Flashcards
What is the one lesson that the author has learned from his research into marital relationships?
That a lasting marriage results from a couple’s ability to resolve conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship
Which factors does John Gottman look at to classify a marriage?
Frequency of fights, the facial expressions and physiological responses of both partners during their confrontations, what they say to each other, and in what tone of voice they interact verbally.
What are the three different styles of problem solving into which healthy marriages tend to settle?
[1] Validating: couples compromise often and calmly work out their
problems to mutual satisfaction as they arise; [2] volatile: conflict erupts often, resulting in
passionate disputes; [3] conflict avoiding: couples agree to disagree, rarely confronting their
differences head-on.
According to the author, which of the three styles is best for a marriage’s future?
His research suggests all three are equally stable and bode equally well for the marriage’s future.
What descriptor does Gottman use for “validator” couples?
In the midst of disagreement they still let their partners know that they consider his/her emotions valid, even if they don’t agree with them.
What descriptors does Gottman use for “volatile” couples?
These couples see themselves as equals. They are independent sorts who believe that marriage should emphasize and strengthen their individuality. They are open with each other about their feelings—both positive and negative. These marriages tend to be passionate and exciting.
What descriptors does Gottman use for “conflict-avoiding” couples?
Not much seems to happen in this type of marriage. They make light of their differences rather than resolving them. This type of couple flies in the face of conventional wisdom that links marital stability to skillfully talking
things out.
What appears to be the key dynamic in what amounts to the emotional ecology of every
marriage?
The balance between negativity and positivity
What really separates contented couples from those in deep marital misery?
A healthy balance between their positive and negative feelings and actions toward each other.
What is the “magic ratio” of positive to negative that likely results in a stable marriage over time?
5 to 1—five times as much positive feeling and interaction as there is negative.
How do unhappy marriages resemble each other?
They follow the same, specific downward spiral before coming to a sad end.
What are the four cascades or “Four Horsemen” a couple hit as they tumble down the marital
rapids?
[1] Criticism,
[2] contempt,
[3] defensiveness, and
[4] stonewalling.
What does criticism involve?
Attacking someone’s personality or character rather than a specific behavior, usually with blame
What are the two common types of criticisms mentioned in the article?
[1] “Kitchen sinking” and
[2] accusing your partner of betraying you, of being untrustworthy
What is a telltale sign that you’ve slipped from complaining to criticizing?
Using global phrases like “you never” or “you always”
What separates contempt from criticism?
The intention to insult and psychologically abuse your
partner.
What are some common signs of expressing contempt?
Insults and name calling, hostile humor, mockery, and body language [sneering, rolling eyes, curling your upper lip]
What are the signs of defensiveness?
Denying responsibility, making excuses, disagreeing with negative mind-reading, cross-complaining, and repeating yourself.
What is the first step toward breaking out of defensiveness?
To no longer see your partner’s words as an attack but as information that is being strongly expressed.
What does stonewalling convey?
Disapproval, icy distance, and smugness.
Are the “four horsemen” the end of the line? Why or why not?
They are not. It is only after they turn a relationship sour that the ultimate danger arises and only if your inner thoughts go unchallenged are you likely to topple down the final marital cascade. If you learn to recognize
what is happening to your marriage, you can still develop the tools you need to regain control of
it.
What three characteristics of sibling relationships stand out among the findings of systematic
research?
[1] Sibling relationships are—from infancy through adolescence—notable for their emotional power and for the uninhibited expression of these emotions,
[2] Intimacy—most children spend more time in interaction with siblings than with parents; therefore, this intimacy can be a source of great support or conflict.
[3] There is a great range of individual differences,
evident from early infancy through to adolescence.)
Why should some siblings get along so well and be important sources of support and comfort for
one another, while others are so hostile?
(In addition to the family constellation variables, the
personality characteristics of individual children, the quality of relationships within the family, and
the social adversities or risks faced by the family all play an important role in individual differences in sibling relationships.)
What are personality and temperamental characteristics more clearly related to? Why?
They are more clearly related to conflict in the sibling relationship rather than in the positive aspects of the
relationship possibly due to problems of measuring the positive features, which tend to be less evident when parents are present, whereas conflict between siblings is all too evident.
What evidence is there for the significance of gender and age gap for individual differences?
For young children, the findings are inconsistent. During middle childhood, it appears that gender may increase in importance [e.g., boys become increasingly less likely to report warmth and intimacy in their relationships with their siblings]. Among older adults, relationships with sisters appear to be particularly important.
How far and in what ways are individual differences in sibling relationships linked to the children’s
relationships with their parents or to the quality of the parents’ own relationships with each other?
There is evidence that the security of young children’s attachments to their parents is correlated
with individual differences in the quality of later sibling relationships. Other evidence indicates that
intense, supportive sibling relationships can develop in families in which the parent-child
relationships are distant or uninvolved. There is also consistent evidence that more conflicted,
hostile sibling relationships are associated with differential relations between parents and their
various children. Finally, changes in parent-child relationships that accompany the arrival of a
new sibling are linked to the quality of the relationship that develops between the siblings.
How does developmental change impact the sibling relationship?
(During the preschool years, the younger siblings—in a dyad—play an increasingly active role in the relationship, as their powers of understanding and communicative skills develop. They begin to imitate more games, and their ability to cooperate makes them more interesting companions in play for their older
siblings. However, changes in the balance of power between siblings appear as they reach middle childhood, thus, the relationship becomes more egalitarian. During adolescence, there tends to be a decrease in the warmth that siblings feel and express toward each other.
Do the striking individual differences in sibling relationships—evident in early childhood—show
continuity over time? Explain.
There is evidence for considerable stability in children’s behavior and feelings toward their siblings, particularly for the older siblings during the period from 5 years
to 12–13 years of age. However, many sibling pairs also changed in the relative friendliness or hostility that they felt toward each other, depending on a variety of life events.
Which two particular domains of development have been studied in relation to children’s experiences with their siblings?
Children’s ability to adjust and their social understanding.
What evidence is presented for the impact of associations between the quality of siblings’
relationships and children’s ability to adjust?
There are associations between the quality of
siblings’ relationships and both internalizing and externalizing behavior found contemporaneously
and over time.
What two sets of evidence indicate indirect effects involving siblings?
Differential parent-child relationships and the impact of the arrival of a sibling.
What outcome was presented for a preschool-aged sibling when both the mother and father
disciplined him more than his younger sibling?
The preschool aged sibling showed more
internalizing and externalizing symptoms.
What has the birth of a sibling been consistently linked to?
Increased problems of adjustment in firstborn children, disturbance in bodily functions, withdrawal, aggressiveness, dependency, and anxiety.
What parallel changes in the interactions between the “displaced” older sibling and his parents correlate with changes in children’s adjustment that follow the arrival of a sibling?
There is a notable increase in critical negative behavior from mothers, an increase in demanding difficult
firstborn behavior to mothers, and a decrease in positive joint activities shared by parents and
firstborn.
How are siblings viewed as a source of support?
It seems that both offering comfort to and receiving comfort from a sibling are associated with benefits for children. For example, children growing up in disharmonious homes have fewer problems if they have a good sibling relationship.
What evidence is there that young preschool children with siblings have more sophisticated inner states and social behaviors?
In the context of the emotional drama and the familiarity of interactions with siblings, they reveal remarkable powers of manipulating others’ emotions, of anticipating intentions, and of understanding the significance of inner states for human action. Their ability to tease, deceive, manage conflict by anticipating the other’s intentions and perspective, share an imaginative work in joint pretend play, and engage in conversations about why people behave the way they do, with reference to mental states as causes and consequences of action, reflect a growing sophistication about inner states and social behavior
How can the lack of consistency across sibling and peer relationships be interpreted?
Compensatory mechanisms could be invoked and/or the experiences of conflict and competitive interactions with siblings may foster children’s capacities in social understanding.
In which ways do family experiences influence individual development?
The aspects of family life that have been seen as key influences on children’s development, such as mothers’ and fathers’ educational and occupational level, parents’ mental health and the quality of their spousal relationship, the neighborhood in which the family lives, and the social adversities faced by the family are all shared by siblings. Yet, experiences within the family differ markedly for siblings due to differences in personality, adjustment, and psychopathology, and are key to their
developmental differences.)
How can we gain a more powerful new perspective in areas of the growth of social understanding
and social competence, in research on family influences on adjustment, on the nature and
individual differences in peer relations, and on the role of genetics in the development of
individual differences?
By including full, half, and step-siblings in future research
How did Freud regard make-believe play?
Why do young children reverse roles in make-believe play?
-A form of pleasurable wish fulfillment that allows
children to act out uncertainties, anxieties, and hoped-for outcomes.
-Young children reverse roles so that the child is in command and can compensate for unpleasant happenings.
How did Erikson regard make-believe play?
Why do young children reverse roles in make-believe play?
-Children draw on fantasy play to find out about
themselves and their social world.
-Through observing and emulating admired adult figures, preschoolers internalize social norms
and gain a sense of their future, of what they can become, and of how they can contribute to
society
What is Piaget best known for in regard to make-believe play?
What cognitive advancement do young children strengthen
through pretending?
- Piaget is best known for stressing the symbolic nature of make-believe.
- Pretending is a vital means of mentally representing the child’s world. This skill, along with gestures, language, and drawings, develops rapidly in early childhood.
Does make-believe play advance children’s development according to Piaget? Why or why not?
Piaget was convinced that by itself, make-believe play does little to advance children’s development. Rather, children merely exercise playfully the symbols they have acquired in other contexts.
How did Vygotsky view make-believe play? What did Vygotsky mean when he said that make believe play creates a “zone” in which the child is “a head taller than himself”?
Vygotsky viewed make-believe play as crucial in children’s learning. Vygotsky meant that play provides the roles, rules, and scenarios that enable children to concentrate at a much higher level than they typically
do in non-pretend contexts.
What are the two distinctive features of make-believe play that distinguish it from other childhood
activities?
[1] The creation of imaginary situations in play helps children separate internal ideas from the objects and events for which they stand, and
[2] make-believe play is rule-based. It is
inspired by experiences in their families and communities, and children continually devise and
follow social rules in imaginary situations
How does make-believe play help preschoolers overcome impulsive action?
Vygotsky claims that make-believe play helps preschoolers conquer their impulses by granting the child repeated practice “in acting independently of what he sees.”
How does make-believe play help preschoolers acquire and enact the rules of social life?
According to Vygotsky, children’s greatest self-control occurs during make-believe play. They achieve their maximum display of willpower when, at their own initiative, they renounce a momentary attraction in favor of rule-governed behavior.
How did Vygotsky describe the evolution of play?
From make-believe play to organized games with rules.
Which diverse array of specific cognitive and social skills does Berk name as contributors to
overcoming impulsive action and acquiring and enacting the rules of social life?
Attention, memory, language and literacy, hypothetical reasoning, distinguishing appearance from reality,
understanding the mind and its many activities, self-regulation, and imagination and creativity.
What six social functions and consequences of adult-child play does Berk list?
Teaching, enlivening daily routines, diffusing conflict, expressing and regulating emotion, influencing
another’s social behavior, and having fun.
According to Berk, how should parents, caregivers, and teachers go about engaging young children in make-believe play?
Adult participation in make-believe play works best when it responds to, guides, and builds on the child’s behaviors with demonstrations and suggestions.
What three suggestions does Berk make that can help parents and teachers select strategies that foster more mature social behavior?
[1] Intervene soon enough to prevent peer difficulties from escalating, thereby avoiding highly intrusive intervention tactics;
[2] focus on developing the skills
of each child, not just on quelling disturbances; and
[3] think in terms of the support that is
necessary, without taking over social responsibilities that children can assume on their own.
Why does Berk say that the physical context of children’s play is important?
It shapes play themes and opportunities to interact with age mates. It can have a profound impact on what
children learn.
What should play materials capitalize on?
Toys and other props should capitalize on children’s
current make-believe capacities while gently spurring children forward, toward a wider range of themes, roles, characters, and increasingly intricate story lines.
What are the changing needs for make-believe and game materials from toddlerhood into the primary grades?
15 months–2 years: a small selection of realistic-looking toys to support their beginning capacity to pretend; 2–3 years: a wider array of make-believe materials; 3–5 years: increasingly varied and flexible props, books and videos, play scenes, games; 6–8 years: basic strategy games and objects to create replicas of the world around them.
What impact does the play environment have on the maturity and diversity of themes in children’s
make-believe play?
When playthings are short in supply, preschoolers’ conflicts increase; the arrangement of play areas reinforces gender distinctions; play spaces often promote attitudes and practices of the surrounding culture.
What three questions does Berk suggest parents consider when deciding to purchase a new toy
for their child?
What activities will this toy inspire? What values will the activities teach? What social rules will my child learn to follow?
How might we safeguard children’s learning and enthusiasm according to Berk?
To safeguard children’s learning and enthusiasm, make-believe play rather than organized sports is best for
preschoolers. When children are ready for game play, permitting them to select sports they enjoy,
to progress at their own pace, and to participate in decisions about team rules preserves cooperation, fair play, and willingness to follow social rules.
Which three interrelated themes are applications of sociocultural theory mentioned by Berk?
Teaching in the “zone,” classrooms rich with dialogue, and abundant literacy activities.
In this chapter, Berk describes Vygotsky’s views of teaching and learning. What benefits are
gained from teaching in the “zone”? What is the “zone”?
Vygotsky argued that teaching in the “zone” leads to new knowledge and skills; it permits children to attain new heights in self regulation. The “zone” is the range of tasks that the child cannot yet master independently but
can accomplish by collaborating with more expert partners.
In what way does classroom dialogue differ from everyday conversation?
In settings where learning is the primary goal of everything that happens, language serves not just as a means of communication but also as an object of reflection.
How are children empowered by an abundance of literacy activities?
(As children become more
skilled at and talk about reading, writing, math, and other forms of notation, they develop the
capacity to consciously manipulate and control the symbol systems of their culture. This makes
them much better communicators—with others and themselves.
Describe the type of activities that create “zones”?
Collaboration and dialogue primarily; whole class activities, secondary.
According to Berk, how are activity centers best designed?
Centers are best designed and equipped so limits are not placed on what children can learn from them.
What are extended projects, what topics should they address, and how should they be addressed?
Extended projects are in-depth studies of special topics. Always address a topic related to children’s everyday experiences, allowing for integration of a range of subject areas, and involve the children in the “fieldwork.”