Please yelp me lines Flashcards
WOAH what was that?
Hear ye, hear ye, YOU my pathetic minimum wage employee, YOU have been chosen to be blessed by the presence of GREATNESS. Grovel before the almighty master niche micro-celebrity that you sorta recognize the face of but not enough to make a real big impact on your mind whatsoever! KNEEEEEEeeEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL
Mhmmmmmm yes this restaurant will do quite nicely.
Thank you sire, only the best for you royal niche-y-ness
SQUIREEEEEEE I’ve lost 2 of my loyal followers
OHOHHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOHHO this is horrible this has to be the worst thing that has happened to anyone on the planet at all times everrrrrrr
Fetch me my poison and my sharpest dagger Squire for this is my final stand… so now I shall sit
No sire i can’t let you gooooooo you have so much to live for who else will bless your followers with another lazy reaction video next week we had a hydraulic press reaction video planned and the week after the we had a you reading funny facebook posts from 5 years ago in a silly voice and laughing after each one and ad libbing different non descriptive reactions you can’t leave now you’re on the cusp of greatness without you who else is going to do another copy paste sketch about the new wicked movie who else will hold space for the defying of gravity but you sirreeeeeeeeeee
I’ll just go get you some menus and i’ll leave you to do whatever… this…is…just gimme a holler or a wave if you need anything
WAITTTTTTTTTTTTT
Dude, I didn’t mean like actually shouting, geez..
sire i’ve just come up with your ultimate career saving comeback
It’s no use squire, first i’ve lost 2 entire followers, next they’ll find my 18+ Ratatouille Roleplay server my career is over, I’m washed up, finished, finito, el fin
Don’t worry sire. I already have your apology video planned in case it ever comes to that. Anyway, I know how you can have your major comeback–the biggest comeback since Logan Paul!
Am I going to make a crappy energy drink and force my brother to fight a geriatric man?
No sire think bigger picture here. What’s all the rage right now?
I-I don’t know Squire, how about you enlighten me?
Fooooooooood sire
What do you mean by food Squire?
Food: Some people have it, some don’t
So I’m going to become Mr. Beast?
No, no no Sire we don’t have the funds for that. How else will we afford to take your weekly professional photos of your feet for your patrion?
Oh that is quite true Squire, so what do you have in mind?
The unattainable food is always the best…2 words Sire: Secret Menu
BLASPHEMY! All restaurants have a secret menu! Give it to me now my career is on the line here! SQUIRREEE make the waitress give it to me!
You will give him your secret menu or face the wrath of his 4,392 loyal followers!
I don’t really know what to tell you, if it’s not on the menu it’s not on the menu. What’s the point of in a secret menu if everyone knows about it already anyway?
SIRE YOU MUST USE YOUR SPECIAL MOVE! FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CAREER!
H-hello
C’mon Tiny Tim, speak up for the kind Waitress
O-one secret m-menu p-please
He hasn’t a penny to his name and he will surely die if you don’t act in the spirit of christmas and give him the secret menu that’s all he live for
What is this? Is this some kind of weird joke? Why Tiny Tim? Is there some kind of Christmas carol fandom you’re catering to or?
HOW DARE YOU THIS POOR LITTLE BOY WON’T MAKE IT TO NEXT CHRISTMAS. I see an empty chair at a table and a crutch without an owner. I said a crutch without an owner!
Where’d the Tiny Tim persona go? What happened to keep Christmas in your hearts and god bless us eveyone?
This is not a time for your games! His career is over because of your simple-mindedness! Come Sire we shall take our leave.
(yelp monologue squire)
Our followers have been asking us where we have been and I think now is the time for us to be fully transparent about our current situation. The lack of accommodation we received at this restaurant was unlike any we’ve ever experienced, enough for it to crush the spirit and will to create content in both of us. The spirit of Christmas lives deep in both of our hearts and we wouldn’t want to bring down our loyal followers by producing subpar content so we are stepping away. Please do what you can to stand in solidarity with us by protesting against this wicked injustice we have faced. Do what you can to make this known and don’t come here to eat unless you want to suffer the same fate as us.
(southern man monologue)
Oh my gosh thank you so much for having us here
Here are some menus for you two I’ll be back in a second
What’s the difference between sausage and hot dogs? Which is Which?
Can I get something that’s green?
(back and forth 4x) Pink?
I’m the one you want… I’m the one you want… it’s me… IT’S ME
Thank you Beyonce
(Ariana monologue)
This has been such an honoring experience and neither of us ever thought that we would be given such a wonderful experience. But right now after leaving that place my pulse is rushing and my head is reeling. I think it may be loathing. Unadulterated loathing for this place so it pains me to say it’ll never be popular, definitely not as popular as me. But something bad is happening here in cheap, unpopular niche restaurants and no one will mourn its closing. But don’t be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as my satisfaction dialysis!
Have you heard of reddit? Join my discord server
When are we gonna make that reaction video to Livvy Dunne getting rizzed up by Baby Gronk?
That’s MY line
Yuh
