Past Events Flashcards
New bathroom at Redhill
The reason we put in a new bathroom was because of a leak from the shower/bath. We noticed discolouration on the kitchen ceiling but ignored it for many months. When it was examined, we found that the joists were rotted and a new ceiling needed put in. Joan decided to do a whole new bathroom since work was to be done anyway.
What can you remember from Great Auntie Jean’s funeral?
At Sinclair Seamen’s Presbyterian on 17/10/2023.
The service was conducted by Rev. Bill Parker with his white flowing mane down to his shoulders. He made a cringey reference to fist pumping with one of the grandkids. In the eulogy he mentioned Mineral Street, Jean’s short-lived marriage to an Army man whom she met at the Floral Hall, her time working at Gallagher’s Cigarette Factory and then at the Shankill Leisure Centre.
He proselytised at length and tried to give a potted history of the world in religious terms based around four words: creation, catastrophe, redemption and restoration. In his very simplified telling, Adam had let the Lord down on behalf of all mankind. This was explained by way of a dodgy analogy where Rishi Sinai invades Russia — a personal decision that has consequences for us all. In God’s unnecessary convoluted logic, the only way to repay the debt incurred by Adam is for another representative of Man to set things right — enter Jesus stage left. When explaining the restoration bit, he very condescendingly said “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” to the congregation (pause for moment of audible conversion).
Reception was at the Lansdowne Hotel. Billy complained the whole way there about how dodgy North Belfast is. Sandra told anecdote about Spanish cow’s milk.
Jean’s children were Susan and Gavin. Susan is pierced and tattooed all over and has a bionic leg after being mauled by a Pink Bus. Gavin lives in Oxford.
The food was very limp chicken goujons and fish-less fish cakes.
