ONE Flashcards
B: Their deep husky masculine voices.
Oh hi, Blanche.
Oh lordy, I’m even starting to hallucinate it.
What’s going on?
B: No I don’t mind getting old. It’s looking old that seems to be the problem.
Okay, so you’re five years older, so am I, so is Rose. Alright, so you have a few more wrinkles, so do I, so does Rose. Okay, so you’re a little thicker around the middle, so is Rose.
B: …I am deciding in this moment to take some drastic preventative measures.
I hope you’re not talking about plastic surgery, Blanche.
B: Rose, that’s Madonna getting out of a taxi.
Ewwwwwwwww.
B: I have a perfect hourglass figure.
With ninety minutes extra at the bottom.
S: …it’s the matching floaties, that have got to go.
Well I for one think plastic surgery is terrible.
R: …get ready for the Annual Miss St. Olaf Yodel Off.
The Annual Miss Saint Olaf Yodel Off?
R: …no one has ever seen such a convincing bearded lady!
Rose, hand me that magazine.
R: No, you’re going to hit me with it.
No I’m not.
R: Promise?
Yes
S: A little nip here. A little tuck there.
Ma, what the hell are you doing?
S: …but pretty soon it will all be over.
What are you talking about?
S: Plastic surgery, Dorothy. Keep up!
Oh ma, you already know my feelings about plastic surgery. I think Blanche made a huge mistake going through with it.
R: Is Blanche back from the hospital yet?
She should be back any minute now.
B: What on earth do you mean?
Haven’t you seen yourself yet?
B: No. Why?
Oh, Blanche. I don’t want to say that I was right. So. (Zip)
B: You’re just trying to scare me. Well, it’s not going to work.
Blanche, if anyone is going to be scared, it’ll be the neighborhood children when they see you coming.
B: I wish I were dead!
Blanche, you’re overreacting.
B: Some of us haven’t had a lifetime to get used to looking in the mirror and disliking what we see.
You’re right, Blanche. In fact, it’s even worse than you think.
S: She would know. She can’t even get a date.
Ma, stop helping.
S: Well, it’s true. You haven’t had a date in 4 years.
Ma!
B: That’s good to hear.
Is my misery actually making you feel better about yourself, Blanche?
B: Yes!!
Well, at least we can all be honest with each other. By the way, Blanche, that color really compliments your stretch marks.
S: Dorothy, I hope Blanche’s face hasn’t scared you out of getting a few procedures of your own.
Blanche’s face has scared me out of ever falling asleep again.
S: Oh, why won’t you just think about it?
Ma, you’re supposed to tell me that I’m beautiful no matter what.