Notes Flashcards
Communication
a systemic and transactional process where we simultaneously act as senders and receivers and use verbal and nonverbal symbols to encode and decode messages as they travel across a channel. The entire process is affected by both social, phychological and physiological noise and by the cultural, social physical and chronological context
All in effort to create shared meaning
Perception Process
Selection: What you actually decide to focus on
Organization:arrange things in someway that is meaningful (mentally fitting people in your brian, he’s mean, he’s nice, etc.)
Interpretation: Assign meaning, but it might not be accurate
Negotiation: When you actually go out and interact with someone, check in with the person
Paul Rankins Study of Communication
Talking: 30%
Writing: 9%
Reading: 16%
Listening: 45%
Listening Process: Alder, Beebe
- Hearing/Selecting: non-verbals you want to attend to, hearing is physiological where listening is psychological
- Attending: deciding what to focus on
- Understanding: interpretation, deciding what to focus on
- Responding: Do something to let the person know you are listening, could include asking for clarification letting them know you don’t understand
- Remembering
Verbal (words) & Vocal (voice)
Speaking
Non-Verbal (no words) & Vocal (voice)
Paralanguage, vocalics, tone, inflection, rate, volume fillers
Verbal (words) & non-vocal (no voice)
Writing, ASL
Non-verbal (no words) & non-vocal (no voice)
Facial expression, proxemics, posture, olifactics, gestures, eye contact, physical environment, appearance, artifacts, chronemics, kinesics, territory
Intimate Space Zone
Personal Space Zone
Social Space Zone
Public Space Zone
0-18 inches
1.5-4 feet
4-12 feet
12-
Principles of Nonverbals
They exist
They have value
Ambiguous
Culturally Bound
Primarily relational
-express how we feel but can also express content
-emblems are gestures that have direct verbal translations such as the “okay” hand signal
-illustrators: simple movement of hands and arms to emphasize message
What makes relationship interpersonal
-Quantitatively: Takes place between 2 people
-Qualitatively:
Uniqueness: How we act with our best friend, I know you, you know me, we have our own connection that is different than anyone elses
Irreplaceable:
Interdependence: depend on each other
Disclosure: how much you reveal about yourself
Intrinsic Reward: Fulfillment, feeling happy and rewarded, get something out of the relationship, the relationship itself is a reward
Self
An ever-changing systems of perspectives that is formed and sustained in communication with ourselves and others
Self-Concept
The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself at a given time
- Does not exist at birth, but evolves
- Resists change
- Subjective
- Healthy self concept is flexible
- Not only determines how you see yourself in the present bu also can affect future behavior
Self-Concept Dimensions:
Physical appearance, skills, social talents, roles, intellectual traits, emotional states, etc. It also changes.
Three Selves
Material (Body), Social, & Spiritual (introspective)
Social/Public Self vs. Spiritual/Private Self
Social Public Self is your presenting self, or your public image-the way we want to appear to others
Spiritual Private self is your perceived self-the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination
Self-esteem
How you evaluate yourself
Reflected Appraisal Theory
We figure out who we are by how others treat us
Significant other
Person whose opinions we especially value. General other is society
Social Comparison Theory
We figure out who we are by comparing ourselves to others
Types of Social Comparisons
- We decide whether we are superior or inferior
- We decide whether we are the same as or different from others
Reference Groups
Groups who plan an important role in shaping our view of ourselves
Self-fulfilling Prophecy
Occurs when a person’s expectations of an event influence the outcome.
-Self-imposed or other-imposed
Changing Self-concept
- Need a realistic perception of yourself
- Realistic expectations
- Will and skill to change
Perception
Observe the world to make sense of it
Perception Process
- Selection: Limit frame of reference, choose, what are you focusing on/taking in? Neglect others when you take in
- Organization: Fill in the blanks, assume, arrange in meaningful way
- Interpretation: Assign/ attribute meaning
- Negotiation: Share your interpretations, check in, learn, see where they’re coming from because they are sane
Influences on Perception
- Fatigue
- Hunger
- Senses
- Age
- Health
- Culture
- Social Roles
- Self-Concept
Perception Barriers
- Judge ourselves more charitably than others
- Influenced by what is most obvious/ignore details
- Cling to first impressions/hold on to preconceptions and stereotypes
- Assume others are similar to us
- Focus on the negative
- Over-generalizing
- Preferring simple explanations
- See only the good or bad
Improving Perceptions
- Increase understanding of perception process
- Check our perceptions with perception check statement:
1. describe behavior (who, what, when)
2. provide 2 possible interpretations for behavior
3. request feedback/clarification
Symbolic
Arbitrary, ambiguous, and abstract representation of a phenomenon
-meanings are in people, not words, and we use symbols to communicate meaning
Rule Governed
Patterned ways of behaving and interpreting behavior
- syntax: punctuation, grammar, arranging words
- semantics: governs words meaning
- phonetics: how to say words (phonics)
- can get over rule governed rules with bffs because create new language
Subjective
With bias, in the mind, personalized
Bypassing
Same words, different meanings
- process when we become confused about words meanings. Ex. safe could mean not harmed, or a chest
- -equivocal terms->ambiguous->bypassing
- equivocal terms are ambiguous language which leads to bypassing
Equivocal terms
Words that have more than one commonly accepted definition
- equivocal terms->ambiguous->bypassing
- equivocal terms are ambiguous language which leads to bypassing
Ambiguous
Subject to multiple meanings
- equivocal terms->ambiguous->bypassing
- equivocal terms are ambiguous language which leads to bypassing
Abstraction
Removed from concrete reality
- High level abstraction: Vague
- Low level abstraction: concrete
- abstraction (abstract), the lower the less abstract
Arbitrary
Random or not necessary
- No connection to words we use to their meanings, desk could be fjdlksafjsd
- allow ourselves to feel harmed by language but meaning doesn’t exist on its own
Euthemism
Pleasant terms substituted for blunt ones
-ex “thats interesting” for “thats terrible” “casualty”
Relative language
Gain their meaning by comparison
-“Big, soon”
Static Evaluation
The mistaken assumption that people are consistent and unchanging-> IS
-Jason IS mean
Polorization
Describing and evaluating what you observe in terms of extremes
-dichotomy, one or the other
Biased language
Terms that are racist, sexist, etc.
It Statement
Avoids responsibility for ownership of a message
But statement
Cancel out the thought that proceeds it
Symbols
Represent things, not the actual things, represent our thoughts
Noise
Interference, can be psychological noise-mental noise, or physiological noise-hungry, tired, sick
Questions
Can be a linguistic way to avoid making a declaration.
-“Do you want to go to a movie?”
You Language
Expresses judgement of the other person
-Cause defensiveness
Language
Provides a more accurate and less provocative way to express a complaint
We Language
Allows people to focus on the issue together
Behavioral Description
Who, What, When
I language
Allows you to concentrate on the behavior and take responsibility for your own feelings
- sharing your own feelings and responses to a situation rather than making judgments and accusations
- lets other person to respond to your concern rather than feeling defensive
I Language Statement
- complete behavioral description (who, what, when)
- statement of your true feelings (not evaluations or intentions)
- consequences to you of the behavior and/or the feelings. Consequences are past events- something that has already happened as a result of the behavior
I Statement: “You don’t care about my feelings”
I felt hurt when I saw you in the restaurant with your old boyfriend. I wondered if you might want to get back together with him.
Nonverbal Communication
Everything except words
Social Distance
4 feet- 12 feet
Gestures
Movement of the body and arms
Culture
Traditions, influences, etc. of a group. Cultures have different nonverbal languages as well as verbal ones.
Emblems
Have a direct verbal translations, “OK” hand signal
Vocal, nonverbal communication
Paralanguage
Proxemics
Space
Nonverbal communication is primarily
Relational
Communicate both dominance and submission
Eyes
Distance 0-18 inches
Intimate
Seven Functions of Nonverbal
- All not mutually exclusive- they don’t stand on their own
1. Regulating- determine who gets to talk
2. Repeating- repeat the verbal
3. Substitute- a point
4. Compliment- if angry you yell, it compliments/works with the verbal message
5. Accenting- highlighting/emphasizing the verbal, hitting the table to show anger
6. Contradicting- “I’d love to go” in a mean tone
7. Deceiving- leakage: your body doesn’t like to lie and it sends messages/ cues that stand out when you’re lying
“Um”
Disfluency
Nonverbal vs. Language
Continuous vs. Discreet
Unintentional vs. Intentional
Multi-channel vs. Single-channel
Nonverbal Principles
- Culturally bound
- Primarily relational
- emblematic: direct verbal translations”OK”
- illistrators: simple mvmt. of hands and arms to emphasize meaning
- Exists
- Has value
- Ambiguous
Illistrators
Simple movement of hands and arms to emphasize message
Nonverbal function: “Shrugging shoulders rather than saying I don’t know”
Substituting
Nonverbal function: Mixed messages
Contradicting
Stationary space
Territory
TIme
Chronemics
Body position and motion
Kinesics
Poor listening habits
- Insulated: Ignores undesireable information, never want to disuss some topics (tattoos with dad)
- Ambushing: listening to gather information to attack against you later on
- Defensive: Misinterpreting innocent comments as an attack
- Selective: only respond to what interests you- “I’m upset because I went to the movies and saw my ex” “How was the movie”
- Pseudolistening: pretending to listen, fake, you look like you are but you aren’t
- Insensitive: not listening to verbal cues, take message at face value “I’m fine…” “Okay great!”
- Stagehogging: only care about yourself, interrupt
Insulated listening
Ignores undesirable information, never discusses these (politics)
Ambushing
Listening to gain information to attack the person later on
Defensive
Misinterpreting innocent comments as an attack
Selective
Only respond to what interests you. “I’m upset because I went to the movies and saw my ex” “How was the movie”
Pseudolistening
Pretending to listen, fake, you look like you are but you aren’t
Insensitive
Not listening to verbal cues, take things as face value. “I’m fine….” “Okay great!”
Stagehogging
Only care about what you have to say, interrupt and ignore others
Paraphrasing
Restatement of what you heard in your own words
-restatement of thoughts and inferred feelings a person is conveying and then asking for clarification
