Movies

Question 1

why so serious

Question 2

not clown-jocker

Question 3

used to think my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it’s a comedy

Question 4

Costume’s a bit theatrical, but hey, who am I to talk?

Question 5

Have you heard this one? It’ll kill you, Batman

Question 6

What doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger!

Question 7

When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot!

Question 8

As you know, madness is like gravity: All it takes is a little push

Question 9

I don’t know what it was that bent your life out of shape, but who knows? Maybe I’ve been there too. Maybe I can help. We could work together. I could rehabilitate you. You needn’t be out there on the edge anymore. You needn’t be alone. We don’t have to kill each other. What do you say

Question 10

If you’re good at something, never do it for free

Question 11

When the chips are down, these civilized people, they’ll eat each other

Question 12

The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules

Question 13

Their morals, their code—it’s a bad joke.”

Question 14

Wait ‘til they get a load of me

Question 15

When they treat you like a joke, leave them like it’s funny

Question 16

i won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever

Question 17

You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength

Question 18

If you don’t like the movie, I’ve got slides

Question 19

A joke a day keeps the gloom away

Question 20

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?

Question 21

That’s not funny

Question 22

It’s funny. When I was a little boy and told people I was going to be a comedian, everyone laughed at me. Well, no one’s laughing now

Question 23

It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message. Everything burns

Question 24

You know, it only hurts when I laugh.

Question 25

They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out like a leper

Question 26

Don’t test the monster in me

Question 27

I’m not good at future planning. I do not plan at all. Don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. Do not have a day planner and don’t have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future

Question 28

Without Batman, crime has no punchline.

Question 29

Does it depress you to know just how alone you really are

Question 30

I’m crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? Nooo, thank you

Question 31

It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic

Question 32

Do you know how many times we’ve come close to world war three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed its war debt creditors! Telegraph poles!

Question 33

Why don’t you just give me a call when you start taking things a little more seriously

Question 34

“I don’t know why everyone is so rude, I don’t know why you are; I don’t want anything from you

Question 35

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos

Question 36

Tell me something, my friend, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

Question 37

Some people want to see you fail. Disappoint them!

Question 38

You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father

Question 39

Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick.

Question 40

The real joke is your stubborn, bone deep conviction that somehow, somewhere, all of this makes sense! That’s what cracks me up each time

Question 41

Haven’t you ever heard of the healing power of laughter

Question 42

Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can’t face them, we deny reason itself

Question 43

I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it

Question 44

I feel like I know you. I’ve been watching you forever

Question 45

Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: There’s no going back. You’ve changed things forever

Question 46

Kid, I’m the Joker. I don’t just randomly kill people. I kill people when it’s funny

Question 47

For my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice.

Question 48

Do I look like the kind of clown that can start a movement

Question 49

A man with nothing to fear is a man with nothing to love

Question 50

His mask is his real face

Question 51

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t

Question 52

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t

Question 53

You look good. Been working out? You could probably use a little sun. Then again, who am I to talk

Question 54

You actually believed that all it would take is a few chemicals, a couple of days in drug-induced isolation and a cheap little nervous breakdown and you’d have me all figured out? Like there was some rabbit hole you could follow me down to understanding?

Question 55

I’m not political. I’m just trying to make people laugh

Question 56

i always wanted to see my dame in lights. Heh. Even in a moment of abject saccharine, I still got it

Question 57

You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think what it’s like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don’t. They think that we’ll just sit there and take it, like good little boys! That we won’t werewolf and go wild

Question 58

You really want to know what it feels like to be the clown at midnight? Where there’s only ever one joke and it’s always on you? Well, here you are. Now do you get it?”

Question 59

When you bring me out, can you introduce me as Joker

Question 60

Tell your men they work for me now! This is my city

Question 61

You’ll never be sad, and you’ll never be lonely. You’ll always have me to dance with.”

Question 62

You get what you f**king deserve

Question 63

Devil is double is deuce, my dear doctor … and joker trumps deuce

Question 64

You think he’s really gonna fix your nasty case of Joker-itis? Not a chance. I’m chronic, Brucie. I’m lingering

Question 65

Here’s the cold, hard truth Bats…I don’t hate you ‘cause I’m crazy…I’m crazy ‘cause I hate you.”

Question 66

Everybody’s telling me my standup is ready for the big clubs

Question 67

Lady, you’re harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids

Question 68

I don’t care what happens to the world, and I don’t play nice with others

Question 69

Live…and in person! The Caliph of Clowns, the Grand Mogul of Mountebanks, the one and only Joker! Prerecorded for this time zone.”

Question 70

My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me I had a purpose to bring laughter and joy to the world

Question 71

I’m not mad at all. I’m just differently sane.

Question 72

Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press? This town needs an enema

Question 73

As though we were made for each other…Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you ‘beast,’ I’ll rip their lungs out

Question 74

Smile because it confuses people

Question 75

Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody’s civil anymore. Nobody thinks what it’s like to be the other guy.

Question 76

f you have to explain a joke, there is no joke

Question 77

All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day

Question 78

I took Gotham’s white knight and I brought him down to our level

Question 79

You can’t win anyway… You see, I hold the winning card

Question 80

Very neat! That ugly head of yours does have a brain

Question 81

This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object

Question 82

And I thought my jokes were bad

Question 83

They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line up the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dance routine—and it would never be enough. No, I don’t keep count. But you do. And I love you for it.

Question 84

And here we go

Question 85

There’s plenty wrong with me. Take my blood, for example. I wish somebody would—this stuff is killing me!

Question 86

Ladies and murderers, welcome to the big fight

Question 87

C’mon Bats, get crazy. It’s the only way to beat me

Question 88

I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman

Question 89

I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman

Question 90

“I hope my death makes more cents than my life

Question 91

Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away forever

Question 92

In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out

Question 93

I hope my death makes more cents than my life

Question 94

I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist

Question 95

You think it all breaks down into symbolism and structures and hints and clues. No, Batman, that’s just Wikipedia

Question 96

Do I look like I’m joking

Question 97

Over?! Why, my dear, delusional Dark Knight, it hasn’t even begun

Question 98

Yes, memory’s so treacherous. One moment, you’re lost in a carnival of delight: childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candy floss. The next, it takes you somewhere you don’t want to be. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with the damp, ambiguous shapes of things you’d rather forget. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children, no

Question 99

It’s a funny world we live in

Question 100

Laugh and the world laughs with you

Question 101

Parting is such sweet sorrow, dearest. Still, you can’t say we didn’t show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there in the asylum. Just don’t forget: If it ever gets too tough, there’s always a place for you here

Question 102

One by one, they’ll hear my call. Then this wicked town, will follow my fall

Question 103

Hello Late-Show lovers…and lovers of the Late-Show

Question 104

A bit of advice…don’t ever apologize to no one for the way you look

Question 105

By clinging to reality, you’re denying the reality of the situation

Question 106

Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity’s importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It’s certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity

Question 107

I am not someone who is loved. I’m an idea. A state of mind.”

Question 108

Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity’s importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It’s certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity.”

Question 109

I am not someone who is loved. I’m an idea. A state of mind

Question 110

If I weren’t crazy, I’d be insane

Question 111

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives

Question 112

You can’t rely on anyone these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don’t we? That’s OK, I came prepared

Question 113

I’m not exactly sure what happened. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another. If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice

Question 114

Forgive my laughter. I have a condition.

Question 115

You see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are

Question 116

Comedy is subjective, Murray. Isn’t that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much, you decide what’s right or wrong. The same way that you decide what’s funny or not

Question 117

Comedy is subjective, Murray. Isn’t that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much, you decide what’s right or wrong. The same way that you decide what’s funny or not

Question 118

Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this…any other response would be crazy

Question 119

Where, oh where has my little Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? His cowl, his scowl, his temper so foul. I do hope he’s coming for me

Question 120

You can’t kill me without becoming like me! I can’t kill you without losing the only human being who can keep up with me! Isn’t it ironic

Question 121

I’m a man of simple taste. I like things such as gunpowder, dynamite and gasoline!

Question 122

Ladies and Gentlemen! You’ve read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature’s mistakes! I give you: the average man

Question 123

I can’t wait to show you my toys

Question 124

Yet we’re linked, you and I. Like comedy and tragedy. Two sides, same coin

Question 125

Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship

Question 126

I’m gonna make this pencil disappear

Question 127

If you actually let me finish a sentence, you might learn something! You might learn we’re not so different. You might even learn something about yourself.

Question 128

Life’s a bowl of cherries and this is the pits

Question 129

Batman, darling

Question 130

125. “You know, kids, a lot has changed while your old Uncle Joker’s been away. New Gotham, new rules, even a new Batman. But now I’m tanned, I’m rested, and I’m ready to give this old town a wedgie again!”

Question 131

Why be a disfigured outcast when I can be a notorious crime god? Why be an orphaned boy when you can be a superhero

Question 132

It’s true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarangs, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy

Question 133

I’m only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I’m really crying. You might join me for a weep

Question 134

You see, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve

Question 135

Don’t go into the light, bats! It’s no fair! They won’t let me in

Question 136

Let’s put a smile on that face

Question 137

You complete me

Question 138

Oh, Batman, if you had the guts for that kind of fun you would’ve done it years ago. I, on the other hand…

Question 139

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the passing of a man who was more than just another do-gooder in tights. He was the best arch-nemesis a sociopath could ask for.

Question 140

Now, I see the funny side. Now I’m always smiling

Question 141

Now, I see the funny side. Now I’m always smiling

Question 142

Well look at the size of that cake, man!”

Question 143

This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them

Question 144

Laugh it up now

Question 145

If the police expect to play against the Joker, they’d better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck

Question 146

You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else…only you won’t admit it!

Question 147

The pen is truly mightier than the sword

Question 148

I’ve been using it as a journal, but also as a joke diary, if I have any thoughts or frustrations. I think I told you, I’m pursuing a career in standup comedy

Question 149

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away!

Question 150

April sweet is coming in, let the feast of fools begin

Question 151

Nobody panics when things go ‘according to plan,’ even if the plan is horrifying

Question 152

If I weren’t insane, I couldn’t be so brilliant

Question 153

We aren’t contractually tied down to rationality! There is no Sanity Clause

Question 154

Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for… it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing

Question 155

Do you know how I got these scars

Question 156

No matter the situation, always wear a smile