Mindset Flashcards
Active ingredients
- Listen with complete attention
- Modelling rather than seeking to fix
- Directing attention by asking specific questions in specific ways
- Work with metaphors as much as possible
Directing attention
Clean language is about directing a persons attention. Eg: Look at the clean syntax, it repeats what the other person says -> focuses where you want the attention to go -> Ask question to direct attention which is more useful
If a person says - I want to be happy,…but this things keep bogging me down, …these government
You can say - And… want to be happy, things keep bogging you down, these government, and when… you want to be happy, what kind of happy is that happy? -> Develop questions from here / Feeling to metaphor
Think small/Track shifts
It is about nudging people in useful directions. It is not about making HUGE transformations
Make small nudge in a useful/resourceful direction. Nudge them to where they said they wanted to in the beginning of a session
Get Into vs Get Through
- James says Get Into whatever states they present
- I like to get through to them to achieve something specific which they have asked in the beginning. Keep this in mind though
Description vs connection to the resource
It is about how much the client is absorbed into the emotion rather than how well they describe it. Connect her to a deeply powerful experience
It is not about what they say. It is about how deeply they are connected to a resource
Fear that when you are using the technique the client will look at you like an idiot
James guided a martial arts students meditation with weird(to him) Eriksonian language and the other person had the most profound experience
When he asked him if he heard him different, it was a no. They were deeply absorbed in their own world
When you use their words and very little of your content, they pay very little attention to your words
It is not to mine but it is to get a shift
As a change work facilitator, simply facilitate the change and see what difference that difference makes. When you see the metaphor evolve, ask enough questions about the resourceful metaphor to make it alive in them
Where is it we want to move somebody from and where do we want to move them to
Anything they give, you use that
You use whatever they give and make nudges to something useful
