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Soft Personal Skills > May's 2015 - Soft Personal Skills > Flashcards

May's 2015 - Soft Personal Skills Flashcards

1
Q

Can you describe vertical decent?

A

One negative thought follows another follows another and another

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2
Q

Name 5 roles the family can play during unemployment

A
  1. The Cheerleader (applauds your efforts)
  2. Idea Person (better ways to do it)
  3. Listener (sympathetic, non-threatening)
  4. Wise One (life experiences, perspective)
  5. Duty Officer (dependable, call regularly, report progress to)
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3
Q

Name 8 limited-thinking patterns

A
  1. Filtering
  2. Polarized thinking
  3. Over generalization
  4. Mind reading
  5. Catastrophic
  6. Magnifying
  7. Personalization
  8. Should
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4
Q

What is the psychology of optimal experience in FLOW?

A

Psychologist Mihaly Czikszentmihaly revealed a satisfying experience is a consciousness called FLOW. People typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, total involvement with life

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5
Q

What is EMDR?

A

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing developed by
Francine Shaprio. It emphasize disturbing memories as caused of psychopathology if it is used to help with PTSD

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6
Q

What is PMR?

A

Physical medicine and rehabilitation optimize quality of life for those not able to achieve full restoration like traumatic brain injury or speech therapist.

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7
Q

What are some 7 deadly sins of speaking?

A

1. Gossip (speaking ill)

2. Judging (hard to listen)

3. Negativity (hard to listen to)

4. Complaining

5. Excuses or blame thrower

6. Penultimate (lying)

7. Dogmatism (facts plus other’s opinions)

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8
Q

What are negative thoughts?

A
  1. I do not have enough time
  2. I am getting old
  3. I am being scared of a big hairy rejection or monster in my closet
  4. I feel easily being discarded or thrown away
  5. I do not have enough money
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9
Q

Name 2 things you can do to help manage your anxiety

A
  1. Meet with people individually instead of in a group
  2. Divide goals into manageable chunks
  3. Get organized
  4. Tell a trusted friend how you feel
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10
Q

How can you boost self-confidence, if you prepare for interview?

A
  1. Visualize success (Answer questions with ease in interview)
  2. Write out flash cards (Develop outline)
  3. Role play with friend (Practice mirroring)
  4. Video record x repeat
  5. Audio tape yourself
  6. Quiz yourself
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11
Q

What are examples of self-confident nonverbal behavior?

A
  1. Carry yourself with good posture
  2. Smile often
  3. Maintain eye contact
  4. Stand with toes pointing outward
  5. Speak loud, confident tone
  6. Don’t speak too fast, too slow
  7. Eliminate junk words: “LIKE”, “YOU KNOW” or “UHMM”
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12
Q

What will help you present in positive way?

A
  1. Find a role model with self-confidence
  2. Look and act powerful (watch people on TV)
  3. Be aware of nonverbal
  4. Ask for feedback
  5. Watch yourself on video
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13
Q

What does studying mean?

A
  1. Ask questions to learn
  2. Listen to learn
  3. Read to gain expertise
  4. Observe (role models)
  5. Become an expert
  6. Learn new skills
  7. Teach others
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14
Q

What/where does lack of confidence stem from?

A

Lack of information

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15
Q

Name 4 activities that can increase your self-confidence?

A
  1. Write out what you plan to say
  2. Memorize important nuggets
  3. Plan for contingencies: anticipate what could go wrong and decide ahead how to handle it
  4. Do your homework and be prepared to back up statements with facts
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16
Q

How can self-confidence come through being best YOU

A
  1. You do what comes naturally
  2. You develop your talents
  3. Follow your convictions
  4. Express own style
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17
Q

Name 8 self-confidence builders

A
  1. Follow your strengths
  2. Plan
  3. Take action
  4. Study
  5. Act the part
  6. Rehearse for success
  7. Manage anxiety
  8. Be persistent
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18
Q

Name 3 places where self-confidence comes from

A
  1. Learned skill: people are not born with it but it can be learned
  2. Practice: self-confidence comes from practice. It is not spontaneous
  3. Internal locus: Internal locus of self-control. Self-directing, accept responsibility for own results
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19
Q

What are signs of self-confidence?

A
  1. Admitting when you are wrong
  2. Being flexible when change is needed
  3. Talking about accomplishments
  4. Describe negative in positive terms”We didn’t meet our deadline, but we learned”
  5. Care how you look (appearance)
  6. Smile often
  7. Learning new skills
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20
Q

What can you do in situation that causes frustrations?

A

I feel frustrated when you do this…

I hear your are saying (paraphrase) …

Is this correct?

Is there more?

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21
Q

How can you help career crash survivor?

A
  1. Be there for them, if they push away
  2. Ask how you can give help and don’t give advice unless asked
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22
Q

What are 5 stages of recovery?

A
  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargain
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance
23
Q

Why is a career crash so devastating?

A
  1. Money
  2. Status
  3. Surprise
  4. Loss of self-esteem
  5. Loss of friends
  6. Loss of routine
  7. Loss of financial income
  8. Loss of identity or status
  9. Came as a shock
24
Q

What causes career crash?

A

Corporate downsizing, moving due to spouse’s job, burnout, being fired. Making wrong career move, corporate politics, too many faux paz

25
Q

What is a career crash?

A

Career crash is when you lose your job, fired, laid-off, burn out. It can be caused by someone else losing their job or you losing your own job

26
Q

How could you prevent conflict from happening?

A
  1. Bring issues out in the open before it becomes a problem
  2. Be aware of triggers and respond to it
  3. Have process resolved
  4. Bring up in meeting
  5. Get agreement from other people
  6. Review different viewpoints
  7. Teach everyone conflict resolution skills
  8. Expect people to use it
27
Q

What actions will help deescalate a conflict to stop defend/spiral attack?

A
  1. Stick with “I” to avoid “you”
  2. Avoid name-calling, put-downs..
  3. Soften your tone
  4. Take time-out to cool down
  5. Acknowledge other person’s point of view
  6. Avoid defensive or hostile body language (rolling eyes)
  7. Be specific and factual (avoid generalities)
28
Q

What is the DESC message? When should it be used?

A

A script to help plan communication that is straightforward,
assertive and focused on your view.

  1. DESCRIBE the problem
  2. EXPRESS your feelings
  3. SPECIFY what actions expected
  4. CONSEQUENCES if not acted upon
29
Q

HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND:

“You call this report finished?

My 10-year-old could have done a better job!”

A

“You are surprised because the report is so short”

30
Q

HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND:

“You guys are really making things extra hard for me.

How do you expect me to sell this when you give me the worst marketing materials I have ever seen?”

A

“You are disgusted with new marketing campaign”

31
Q

HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND:

“Your payroll records are all messed up this week. I don’t see how I can get people’s pay checks out because this is late. Who is running this place, anyways?”

A

“You sound pretty exasperated about the records”

32
Q

Why would it be good at resolving conflict, if you use these statements?

“Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work”

-OR-

“You are annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”

A
  1. It’s same as agreement
  2. Demonstrate you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view
  3. Feels good another person is trying to understand your point of view
  4. Produces fewer mis-communications
  5. Calming effect in emotional situation
33
Q

What are 2 components to responses for active listening?

A
  1. Name feeling other person is conveying
  2. State reason for feeling this emotion
34
Q

How can you make sure you understand someone?

A

Restate, in own words, what other person has said

35
Q

Why is active listening a valuable skill?

A

Resolve conflicts because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what the other person is saying.

Restate what other person has said.

36
Q

Name 3 conflict resolution skills

A
  1. Active listening
  2. Assertive communication skills
  3. Deescalation skills
37
Q

If someone from higher status are in conflict with you.

How can you offer ideas, if needed, to move discussion along?

A

People in higher-status positions usually feel freer to engage in conflict and are less likely to avoid confrontation

38
Q

If someone from higher or different style of ideas is in conflict.

How can you offer ideas, if needed, to move discussion along?

A

Some companies encourage conflict;
others have unwritten rules that is to be contained or avoided

39
Q

If conflict arise between female and male.

You want to offer advise, how can you move discussion along?

A

Males are generally encouraged to be more confrontational than females

40
Q

If someone has conflict arise within family.

How can you move it along to offer ideas?

A

In some families, conflict and confrontation, are a communication style.

In others, conflict always remains hidden.

41
Q

If someone learned a behavior from role models and it causes conflicts. How can you move discussion forward to offer ideas?

A

People who have had a teacher or boss who modeled effective conflict resolution skills are more likely to develop these skills themselves

42
Q

What are some factors that affect how we behave in face of conflict?

A
  1. Status
  2. Company style, unwritten rules
  3. Gender differences
  4. Behavior learned in families
  5. Behaviorists learned from role models
43
Q

What are some factors to consider in a relationship?

A
  1. Trust increase
  2. Teamwork increase
  3. Morale increase
  4. Self-esteem increase
  5. Loyalty increase
  6. Respect for boss increase
  7. Productivity increase
  8. Future behavior - people feel free to express different viewpoints
44
Q

What are 7 destructive ways of dealing with conflict?

A
  1. Avoidance
  2. Denial, wait until goes away
  3. Change of subject
  4. React emotionally: become aggressive, abusive, hysterical or frightening
  5. Find someone to blame
  6. Make excuses
  7. Delegate to someone else

Thus, if you see something, say something.

45
Q

The workspace is a system of ________

A

Relationships: trust, teamwork, morale, self-esteem, loyalty, productivity, respect for boss and predict future behavior.

46
Q

How should goals be considered?

A

SMARTS = Specific

M = Measurable

A = Attainable

R = Realistic

T = Time-oriented

47
Q

Name 3 types of conflicts

A
  1. Disagreements over turf (who should do what)
  2. Disagreements over policy (how things should be done)
  3. Conflicts of personality or style
48
Q

What is imago?

A

Mirror - I hear you are saying (repeat what was said)

Validate - That makes sense to me

Empathy - Acknowledge how they feels there more?

Did I hear you correctly?

49
Q

What does KSA stand for?

A

K = Knowledge

S = Skill

A = Ability

50
Q

What is the difference between personalization and should?

A
  • Personalization is when you compare yourself to others.
  • Should is when you have a list of ironclad rules and you feel guilty when you violate them.
51
Q

What are differences between mind reading, catastropzing or magnifying?

A
  • Mind reading is when you know what people are feeling, without saying so.
  • Catastrophizing is thinking of worst case scenarios.
  • Magnifying is turning up the volume.
52
Q

What are the differences between filtering, polarized thinking and overgeneralization?

A
  • Filter focused only on negative.
  • Polarized is when you see things in black and white, good or bad because there is no middle ground.
  • Overgeneralization is when you exaggerate frequency or problems.
53
Q
A

Soft Personal Skills (3 decks)

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