Material By Ros Barber Flashcards
Tone
Authentic, informal
- makes it anecdotal and personal
Form
No consistent rhyme
- her flowing thoughts and nostalgia
- constantly changing expectations and obligations for women and mothers
Always 8 line stanzas:
- the rigidity of her responsibilities as a mother
- the new expectations and standards of mass consumerism
Themes
Nostalgia and Loss
Motherhood and generational change
Mass production, modernity and dehumanization
Nostalgia and loss theme
- sudden guilt that comes with loss and remembering (embarrassment and un appreciation of our parents)
- nostalgia and appreciation for the past: hanky symbolises a time when everyday interactions were meaningful and products were durable rather than disposable . Appreciation of past traditions and values.
- nostalgia of when things were done with care: now, most people prefer convenience whereas in her childhood people put time and effort into creating durable and meaningful objects.
OVERALL: the speaker explores how we ache for parts of the past we don’t appreciate until they’re gone - she is forced to confront and embrace the uncertainty of what is left.
Motherhood and generational change
- In the past, mothers put love and effort into everything they did. The speaker feels incompetent compared to her always prepared mothers who seemed to have perfect parenting skills. Feels as though her own form of parenting fails to live up to her mother’s standards. (Doesn’t put as much time into her children)
- parents are forced to adapt to their own ‘materials’ - over time the tools we have for parenting change and develop, changing our reality of life.
- motherhood changes- learning to accept that our realities change over time: expectations for women change drastically as now she is forced to both have a job and raise her children whereas her mother only devoted time to them.
OVERALL: she must accept the mother she is and the ‘materials’ at her disposal and adapt into the changing world.
Modernity, mass production and dehumanization theme
- modernity comes with dehumanization: idea that many beloved things disappear as technology appears (friendly neighbourhood figures being replaced with machines and shopping malls rather than local shops). Modern society treats certain people and interactions as disposable (mirrored by the transition from hankies to tissues)
- the struggle to survive in the modern mass and economy: hankies were a signal of emotion and by replacing them with disposable tissues it suggests that human emotions are expendable too since they are no longer always carried on the sleeve.
- local businesses struggle to survive in this mass producing economy - everything is being replaced with supermarkets and global, monetised businesses. (Everything is done for profit)
-modernity robs people of connections: the mother tries fitting into this fast paced world (not carrying tissues to avoid human emotion, working) but it costs her of meaningful relationships with others and her children
OVERALL: mass production erodes feelings and interactions making people feel replaceable
My mother was a hanky queen
When hanky meant a thing of cloth,
Not paper tissues bought in packs
From late-night garages and shops,
HANKY QUEEN: idiomatic expression showing she was known for it or skilled at it (reflecting her mother’s ability to show emotion)
CLOTH VS PAPER: paper is disposable (symbolic: her feeling of being disposable / everything in modernity has lost it’s meaning/durability)
LATE NIGHT GARAGES: suggests afterthought (how now human emotion is seen as an afterthought to profit and success)
But things for waving out of trains
And mopping the corners of your grief:
When hankies were material
She’d have one, always, up her sleeve.
NOSTALGIC IMAGES: how hankies would accompany you your whole life (meaningful objects compared with disposable objects nowadays)
ALWAYS: suggests her mother was always prepared and equipped and consistent. (Critiques herself and compares herself to her mother - sees her as an ideal mother/ the standard so she feels incompetent in comparison) reinforces how she didn’t appreciate how good of a mother she was when she was young
Tucked in the wrists of every cardi,
A mum’s embarrassment of lace
Embroidered with a V for Viv,
Spittled and scrubbed against my face.
CARDI. Warmth and cosy - the mother is comforting and warm to her (lack of appreciation at the time) - idea that there used to be a connection between mothers and children.
EMBARRASSMENT : when you are young everything your parents do is embarrassing to you - but now she feels shame for this embarrassment.
EMBROIDERED WITH A V: idea that motherhood/objects were meaningful and personal at the time - now everything is disposable and has less value.
And sometimes more than one fell out
As if she had a farm up there
Where dried up hankies fell in love
And mated, raising little square.
Metaphor: imagining hankies as real people (mirror for motherhood at the time)
The use of this childlike imagination sparks nostalgia and shows how she wants to go back and change the way she viewed her mum - further highlights how prepared her mother was in any situation
She bought her own; I never did.
Hankies were presents from distant aunts
In boxed sets, with transparent covers
And script initials spelling ponce,
OPPOSITION (NEVER): highlights the differences in mother hood at the time and now
HANKIES WERE PRESENTS FROM DISTANT AUNTS…. Her lack of appreciation for these hankies that now she misses and sees as valuable.
PONCE: thought of it as lame and was unappreciative of it.
The naffest Christmas gift you’d get-
My brothers too, more often than not,
Got male ones: serious and grey,
And larger, like they had more snot.
MALE GENDER NORMS: men were expected to be boring and emotionless - change and critique on gender norms.
It was hankie that closed department stores,
With headscarves, girdles, knitting wool
And trouser presses; homely props
You’d never find today in malls.
CHANGE TO PRESENT: juxtaposing commerce
LISTING: sense of nostalgia for a forgotten time where objects were made with love and care.
COMMENT on how in the past, local stores were used to make local profit and now everything is mass produced to try and make as much profit as possible.
LACK OF INDIVIDUALISATION: everything is all found in one place
Hankies, which demanded irons,
And boiling to be purified
Shuttered the doors of family stores
When those who used to buy them died.
DEMANDED: personification - things had to be looked after like children - they were purposeful and meaningful
People began conforming to the expectations of modern consumerism and stopped taking care of the products they made (mass production)
DIED: metaphor for the meaning in objects to pass away (metaphorical of motherhood: there are so many new responsibilities it is almost impossible to be a caring and time spending mother like in the past)
And somehow, with the hanky’s loss,
Greengrocer George with his dodgy foot
Delivering veg from a Comma van
Is history, and the friendly butcher
Who’d slip an extra sausage in,
The fishmonger whose marble slab
Of haddock smoked the colour of yolks
And parcelled rows of local crab
Hanky is a symbol of the old ways
SENSE OF COMMUNITY: people put in effort with things and we had real connections with everyday, local people we’d see
HISTORY: this time is long gone and is now replaced with digitalised, lifelessness (self checkout)
ENJAMBMENT: lost in thought and overflowing nostalgia of this time
