Marriage

Question 1

Why are you tempted to hide your sin from your wife (or from others in your life if you’re single)?

Answer 1

We may not understand or fully embrace the gospel and what it means to confess, repent, and return to God.

This is a pattern started with Adam and Eve where our sin, through our guilt, creates shame. The sin is ugly to God and we hide. The sin is ugly to our bride and is a sign of a limit in our relationship with God. We are taken out of a place of leadership and instead show our weaknesses to our spouse (or others) who we really are and the sin becomes a benchmark for our true relationship with God and understanding and practice of the Gospel which may not be very strong and is typically weak

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My Notes:

Hiding sin from your wife stifles the Gospel

*  Hiding things in LTG that we can’t give up because it would show our corrupt hearts. Partial sharing…not fully sharing.

*  We think we’ll take these secrets to the grave and Satan makes us believe that we’ll take these secrets to the grave.

*  If you’re trying to hide something it will come out.
	*  Proverbs 28:13

	*  Acts 5:3-5

*  What does it say about what we think of the gospel when we hide things from our wife?
	*  We make the cross very small in our house when we hide things.

	*  Our love wanes.

	*  The only way to realize the gospel is to confess those sins.

*  The most common marriage counseling is the sexual sin and the wife has a hard time forgiving him.

*  The idea of revealing everything frightens us.

*  Think about how revealing hidden secrets would share the gospel to our wives.

*  How he and his wife do this:
	*  Confess to God and not to her. My first offense is to God. The consequence will burden her, but it’s a vertical conversation with God she gets to listen to but not common. Through this is confession of lust, sexual sin, need for approval.

*  First command of Jesus is to ‘repent’

*  Gospel is not revealed unless we ‘confess’

*  We need to be reminded of what Christ did for us in order live through marriage.

*  Age-appropriate confession with our kids; we do it first and then they do. Model it for them.

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If you’re hiding something from your wife, cohorts, you’re stifling the gospel.
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Discussion: Does my wife know the full extent of how jacked up I am. The full extent of my brokenness. If not, why is that? What is preventing me from doing so?
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Why do we hide things?
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We like our sin.

			*  We’re scared of my wife’s reaction because we care more about what our wives think of us.

			*  We don’t truly grasp the sacrifice God made through Christ.

		*  Wife should not be the only one we confess to.
			*  Go to your coach and discuss this with them because it can be a bombshell for your wife.

Question 2

Why did God create marriage?

Answer 2

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Cohort Review

God made marriage.  It is from God and by God and for God. - Genesis 2:18-24

    He creates it, He presents it, He unites the two into one!
    Marriage is God’s! Created by Him and for His purposes
    The problem is when we say, “this marriage is mine!” Everything serves ME. I won’t take advice or correction. I’m always feeling wronged.

God has an infinitely high view of marriage - Matthew 19:4-10

    Marriage is a big deal – totally counter-cultural.
    God hates divorce. Divorce was never his plan, but allowed because or our hardness of heart.
    This is why we say during a ceremony, “marriage should be entered into soberly.” It is a permanent bond in this life.

Marriage is for God and His glory - Ephesians 5:31-32  (MOST IMPORTANT PART)

Ephesians 5:31-32 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery– but I am talking about Christ and the church.

o Your marriage has been predetermined from before the foundations of the world, to be a sermon to the world around you.

o Your marriage is missional!

You are the God’s chosen display of Jesus and the Church.

You show your family/friends/neighbors what it looks like for Jesus to love the Church and for the Church to submit to Jesus.

o So, there’s our target. Not endurance. Not happiness. But a display of Jesus and the Church.

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My notes:

The Purpose of Marriage

*  Is not about me or my wife making me happy or getting what I want.

*  Not about sexual fulfillment.

*  Ephesians 5:31-32

*  Luke 22:20 “New convenant”

*  “Ultimate thing is that it exists for God’s glory”. It’s there to display God and Christ’s redeemed relationship with the Church.

*  Matt. 28:20; Heb 13:5

*  Meant to put the gospel reality on display.

*  However, we’re all sinners and we’re going to fail at this.

*  Success is only through grace of God and gospel must be the centerpiece in marriage.

*  Marriage is missional – making Him a big deal because we love Him because of what He’s done for us so others can come to know Him.

*  If your marriage is a sermon to the world, what is my marriage and what do others see?
	*  Discussion.

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Summary written on test.