Love and Communication Flashcards
Love
exists in all cultures, ethnic groups, in all orientations; dual nature: feeling and activity
Love and Sexuality
intimately related in our culture; our language connects love and sex; sexual satisfaction is tied to relationship satisfaction; level of intimacy and relationship duration are correlated with the decision to engage in sexual activity;
Love without sex
celibacy or asexuality; a purposeful choice rather than a sexual problem; emphasis on friendship and other relationship qualities;
Styles of Love: Lee
Eros, Mania, Ludus, Storge, Agape, and Pragma; to have a mutually satisfying relationship, a person has to find a partner who shares the same style and definition of love
Eros
love of beauty, intense, passionate, and sensual, fascinated by every physical detail of their beloved
Mania
from the Greek word madness; obsessive love that swings between ecstasy and despair
Ludus
from the latin word for play; playful, non-committed love; love is a game, “nothing serious” is the motto of ludic lovers
Storge
from the Greek word for natural affection; usually begins as a friendship and gradually deepens into love
Agape
from the greek word for brotherly love; altruistic love, giving, generous love that puts others before self, it is the love of saints and martyrs; it is easier to love all of humankind than an individual in this way
Pragma
from the greek word for business; a practical love, pragmatic lovers use their logic in their search for a partner who meets their needs, if they meet a person who satisfies their criteria, erotic, manic or other feelings may develop
The Triangular Theory of Love
developed by Robert Sternberg; emphasizes the quality of love relationships; Love is the interaction of three components– 1. intimacy: emotional component, 2. passion: sexual component, 3. commitment: (a) short-term is the decision to love that person and (b) long-term is the commitment to maintain that love
Kinds of Love: Sternberg
Liking is intimacy only; Infatuation is passion only; Romantic love is intimacy and passion; Companionate love is intimacy and commitment; Fatuous love is passion and commitment; Consummate love is intimacy, passion, and commitment; Empty love is commitment only; nonlove is the absence of all love
Geometry of Love
size and shape of each person’s triangle indicates how well each person is matched to the other; if the components are not equal, it results in unbalanced triangles
Ten Signs of Intimacy
- wanting to promote your partners’ welfare 2. Feeling Happiness with your partner 3. holding partner in high regard 4. Being able to count on your partner in time of need 5. Being able to understand each other 6. Sharing yourself and possessions with your partner 7. Receiving emotional support from your partner 8. Giving emotional support to your partner; 9. Being able to communicate with your partner about intimate things 10. Valuing partner’s presence in your life.
Extramarital sex
exists in dating, cohabiting, and marital relationships; in exclusive relationships, it’s related to four factors– 1. stronger sexual interests 2. more permissive sexual values 3. Greater sexual opportunities 4. Weaker marital relationships
Communication
a transactional process; involves conveying symbols, words, gestures, movements; Goals are to establish human contact, exchange information and reinforce or change attitudes or behaviors
Cultural context- communication
the language, values, beliefs, and customs in which communication takes place
Social context- communication
the roles we play in society as members of different groups (ex: husband and wife roles); traditional gender roles (ex: men are given higher status than women); because roles exist in relationship to other people, status is important
Psychological context- communication
determines how people communicate based on their personalities
Nonverbal communication
the ability to correctly interpret nonverbal communication is important in relationships; most of our “feeling” communication is nonverbal; 3 important factors
Proximity
nearness in physical space; a) where we sit or stand in relation to another person signifies a level of intimacy, b) the neutral intermediate distance for Latinos is much closer than that for Anglos, c) Asian cultures feature even a greater distance
Eye Contact
a symbol of interest; a) may differ by culture