Lesson 8 Flashcards
If Spongebob would physically harm Gerry the snail (they are not family) would this be domestic violence?
Yes, it would. Beceause domestic violence is: ‘any assault, including sexual assault, or other criminal acts that lead to personal injury or death of one or more family members or roommates by another person living in the same house or who has lived in the same house’ (including Gerry the the snail).
Name the six types of domestic violence in the following case:
Let’s assume that all the Smurfs lived in the same house. (I’m sorry if this is going to ruin your memories and if it’s a bit disturbing) Smurfin is in a bad situation.
- Verliefde smurf is so in love with her that he can’t keep his hands of her.
- Lolsmurf is always making fun of Smurfin. He says her dresses look like parachutes and that her hat makes her look like a gnome. He does this because he feels that way and this makes him feel better.
- Geldsmurf, who normally gives everyone their pocketmoney and makes sure everyone has enough clothes and stuff, isn’t that fund of Smurfin anymore. He refuses to give her money. He says that lady smurfs don’t need money. He says to Kooksmurf that he shouldn’t bother cooking for smurfin, she is already fat enough.
- Potige smurf has a relationship with Smurfin. He is very into sporting and wants to fight Cargamel one day. So he says he needs to practice sometimes. And if Smurfin doesn’t wear nice dresses or is flikflooiing with Verliefde smurf he beats her.
- Huisbaassmurf who is quite good in calculating, tells Smurfin that he owes her because she buys too much white dresses and that she hasn’t paid her part of the rent for 7,5 month.
- Grote smurf has no attention for all the problems Smurfin tells to him. He says she shouldn’t worry so much. He has no time for her at all and doesn’t seem to notice her when all the smurfs are together.
- Verliefde smurf: sexual violence
- Lol smurf: psychological or emotional violence
- Geldsmurf en Kooksmurf: physical neglect.
- Potige smurf: physical violence
- Huisbaassmurf: financial exploitation
- Grote smurf: psychological or emotional neglect
Name three typologies of abusers in the following case:
- family only
- borderline / disphoric
- antisocial
Name the one of the two dynamics of partner violence in the following case: Romeo comes to Juliets room for a couple of nights in a row, they intent to run away and get married. But Juliet is so stressed because of Romeo’s messed up hair because of climbing to her window trough the rosebush, that she sometimes just pushes him out of the window to comb his hair. Romeo always stays calm and quiet, but Juliet tends to explode. He decided to just listen to her. One day, Juliet can’t stand it anymore, she takes a sleeping potion to not have to see Romeos hair. But when she wakes up, has drunken poison because he had forgotten to comb his hair again and he can’t stand it anymore. Then, out of frustration because his hair is even worse than she thought is would be, she stabs herself.
The dynamic is Master & Slave. Romeo is the victim and Juliet the master.
Name the one of the two dynamics of partner violence in the following case:
Adam and Eve are fighting a lot lately. Adam doesn’t think Eve is really interesting and Eve feels the same about Adam. They would rather have someone more like themselves. But they found an episode of Kamasutra with a note of God that they should try something of that. But they feel distgusted by eachother, and every time they try, one of them gets mad. Eve walks away out of frustration one day and when a sissing voice in her ear says that Adam is running after her, she grabs the first thing she sees and throws it to Adam, who is actually just looking clipping his toenails with two woodpeckers. And then, all of the sudden they are banned from the garden of Eden, and its all Adams fault.
Symmetrical, escalating communicationstyle. Both parties provoke the violence.
Donkey falls in love with the dragon who tried to kill him before, what is a name for this phenomenon?
The Stockholm Syndrome: Donkey may have developed empathy for the dragon who tried to kill him. Because he wants to make sense of the mixed emotion he experiences, trough the principle of cognitive dissonance, he adapts his attitudes and develops feelings for the dragon. The dragon shares these feelings and they become a couple.
Name the nine steps in the cycle of partner violence by use of the following case: (again: sorry if I ruin this show for you, its a bit disturbing)
Dora and Diego had a wonderful time together going on adventure and discovering things. Diego is so nice, he always helps Dora point out lost things. But since they are together Diego all of sudden wants to choose what path they take and what to put in the backpack. He says he just wants to make sure they are safe. At one point Diego says Dora shouldn’t spend so much time talking with Boets. Diego says Boets has plans of his own, that he wants to get alone with Dora. At first Dora thinks its quite sweet that he is so protective. But later Diego is changing, when she talked to Boets when the children asked something, he started insulting her afterwords. He says her backpack is so ugly. He asks why she always wears a pink shirt and a red pants: ‘even an idiot sees that those colors can’t be combined’. One time, while they’re asking the kids where they have been that day, Diego explodes. He says: ‘can’t you figure that out for yourself? These kids can’t be as stupid as you are.’ He slaps her with his own backpack. When Dora falls to the ground, and starts crying, his expression changes. He apologizes for his anger. He said that he shouldn’t have done it and that he won’t do it again.
But he does nevertheless. He keeps beating her every time she says or does something that he doesn’t approve. When he beats her he yells that it’s all her fault, that she shouldn’t piss him off if she doesn’t want to take the consequences. Dora becomes more timid and introverted after some time. She doesn’t dare to ask the children anything, she just tries to hide. She just doesn’t get why she can’t just be nice to Diego again, like she was before, she obviously ruined everything. Diego now lets her not talking to anyone anymore, Boets can’t get near her and Dora also isn’t allowed to talk to the kids anymore. He wants her to ask for permission to go anywhere out of his sight. Dora does what he wants and walks with him and doesn’t talk to anyone else. Dora doesn’t know what to do anymore, she feels so confused. She knows its all her fault, but she doesn’t really understand why. In the rare occasions that Dora says he shouldn’t beat her, he gets even more mad. He is so violent and assaulting, Dora gets injured so badly, she can’t walk the big distances on adventure anymore. She doesn’t know what to do anymore, should a person this stupid and ugly even be on tv?
Phase 1, intense and wonderful, dedication : helping Dora and spending time together.
Phase 2, taking over control: Diego wants to choose where they are going.
Phase 3, jealousy, control: Dora can’t talk to Boets anymore.
Phase 4, excessive control and anger at disobedience.
Phase 5, first physical aggression, and afterwords apologies: slamming into Dora with the backpack and then apologizing.
Phase 6, psychological and physical abuse, internalization fault by victim: Dora blames herself for her Diego’s behavior.
Phase 7, start isolation process: Dora can’t talk to anyone else and Diego forbids her to go anywhere without his permission.
Phase 8, victim experiences an emotional conflict and confusion, victim is guilty: Dora blames herself, although she doesn’t completely understand what she did wrong.
Phase 9, increase psychological and physical violence, when confronted, the situation will escalate, victim can’t survive by herself: Dora doubts everything about herself, she is physically so badly injured that she thinks of leaving the show.
