Lecture 19: Love and Relationships Flashcards
Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid: golden fleece award
Elain Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid were psychologists who made significant contributions to the understanding of romantic love –> in 1975, they were working on a project aimed at determining how major cognitive and emotional theories could shed light on the nature of passionate love and sexual desire and their research was funded with $83k (which is not a lot at all)
US senator William Proxmire awarded Elaine Hatfield the Golden Fleece Award: highly publicized mock honor given by Proxmire to projects that he deemed to be a waste of taxpayer money
- the senator didn’t believe the research and study of love had any real significance and lacked practical application
However Hatfield and Berscheid developed influential theories on love and focused on how love could be studied scientifically despite it being traditionally viewed as more mystical and intangible emotion which was controversial for the time
explain Ellen Berscheid’s quote: “Once science can measure love, it takes away the mystery of it”
the statement reflects a common sentiment about the potential downsides of scientific inquiry into complex emotional experiences
–> the fear is that by analyzing love scientifically, we might lose the emotional richness that makes love feel unique to individuals
- some believed that love should remain a mysterious and unpredictable force while others believed that understanding the mechanisms behind love can empower people to experience it more deeply and healthily
explain the meta analysis that identified what factors in people’s lives predicted/correlated with longer lifespan and the significance of it
148 studies (total of 308849) done on identifying what factors in people’s lives predict/correlate with longer lifespan: from lowest to highest…
Air pollution
Hypertension
BMI
Exercise
Alcohol
Smoking
Social relationships
social relationships had the MOST impact on someone’s life in terms of lifespan
A study that estimated the annual cost of direct/indirect consequences of struggling marriages in the US (ie. mariage therapy, child care). What was the estimated annual cost?
33.3 billion dollars
why do we study relationships?
- because we have our higher highs and lowest lows w/ loved ones/ friends/ close people
- the nature of relationships are constantly changing (ie. technology)
what are some examples of things we say about relationships?
Ie. “opposites attract”, “birds of a feather flock together” “you complete me/you are my better half” “siblings or dating”
Researchers were interested in how important is ___ in potential romantic partners. what are 3 ___ researchers were interested in?
Researchers were interested in how important is SIMILARITY in potential romantic partners
Personality characteristics similarity
Attitude similarity
Economic similarity
Major histocompatibility complex (MHC)
The idea that the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC) influences romantic attraction and mate selection is rooted in the theory that complementary immune systems between partners may lead to healthier, more resilient offspring. This concept suggests that an individual may be subconsciously attracted to others whose immune resistance patterns (encoded by MHC genes) complement their own. The idea is that, by choosing a mate with a different set of MHC alleles, an individual could enhance the immune diversity of their offspring, potentially making them more robust in fighting off infections and diseases.
Explain the MHC study done and the results of it
Liking someone’s SMELL was thought to be having a complementary immune system/response
→ researchers studied this: people smelled a bunch of other people’s clothes and ranked the people’s attractiveness based off of their smell
Results were mixed: partly complementary partly matched immune system
long distance relationships studies and their results
people often think that ldr don’t fare well (less happy, less committed, less loyal)
- studies done comparing long vs short distance relationships
- Results: people in either type of relationships are the same in terms of happiness and commitment - A study looked at What happens to long-distance relationships when they become short-distance?
About 1/2 of the long-distance relationships broke up but once they become geographically close, 1/3 of the ones that stayed together initially broke up within 3 months of being short-distance (close together)
Studied how the changing of distances for relationships affect them?
explain Attractiveness = averageness
Averaging a few people’s faces together → they were found the most attractive
faceresearch.org: could take varying faces (different races, gender) and create composites of the different faces → facial attractiveness is more closer to universal (ie. symmetry)
participants were asked which would upset you more?
Imagining your partner forming a deep emotional attachment to that person
Imagining your partner enjoying passionate sex with that person
what did men in relationships answer and what did single men answer?
majority of both groups: men in relationships and single men both chose B to be more upsetting
BUT
When men who were currently in an actual relationship when asked this question, it was shifted way more towards B compared to men who were not currently in a relationship
conducted with all straight men
Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?
NO not really –> The data does not always match our intuition
We rely a lot on intuition for relationships, but when a bunch of people’s experiences are gathered together, the results may be against what we expected/thought
what are the benefits of conducting studies about relationships on older people compared to younger people (aka Long term perspective)
Most research participants were young adults/college students → researchers realized they should talk to much older adults/couples
This study wanted the valuable insight from people who have been in relationships for a very long time (what makes a relationship/marriage last)
“You cannot just do by love, you have to know who you are and what you want to do with your life, know how to apologize”
“Marriage is hard and it has to be approached from a sense of spirit and commitment”
How do we study relationships?
With a lot of methods and statistics
1. surveys asking people to reflect or imagine a situation in a relationship
2. Look at what people actually do in a relationship: ie. uploading your text messages with your partner and studying the language and speech patterns in a relationship
3. implicit measures: looking time
4. actually brining couples in and asking them questions about their relationship and their issues
what type of implicit measure is used to study relationships and give an example of a study
if you see an attractive people on a screen, how long you do look at the photo for and comparing how long someone in a relationship vs someone who is single looks at the photo
Measuring LOOKING TIME is advantageous (better than just directly asking them how attractive they think someone is) because it is much harder to control (more subconscious)
explain the Northwestern research study: speed dating research
Meet each person for 4 minutes each only to talk and get to know each other
Allowed researchers to gain information on initial attraction from people
12 pairs of male and female students
Results: there is a discrepancies between what people SAY they want in a relationship vs what/who they actually end up choosing
How do people feel about people who were choosy vs people who seemed happy with everyone
People tend to like the person who likes everybody in a platonic context, BUT in a speed dating context (romantic context) this result was flipped and people actually prefer people who showed more selectivity for their partners
what is a difference between speed dating for romantic purposes vs for platonic purposes?
People tend to like the person who likes everybody in a platonic context, BUT in a speed dating context (romantic context) this result was flipped and people actually prefer people who showed by selectivity for their partners
explain the study where researchers put couples into high-stake situations:
People put on VR helmets and the participants “walk” along the scary dangerous cliff
How would your physiological response correspond with their partner on a scary cliff
Keep going or looking out in the distance
Physiological response when people had their partners ignoring them was much more heightened vs when their partner was being encouraging and supportive
explain the findings from the study of bringing couples in and asking them questions about their relationship and their issues → talk to researchers about their relationships
People who share a lot of warm and happy details about how they met are more stable couples
Then researchers put the couples into a situation where they go thru a very potential/real conflict couples would face (conflict conversations)
Researchers measure the couple’s heart rate and fidgeting and then observe their behaviors
explain the experiments with partners: one person scribbling away but can’t see what they are writing on the questionnaire –> findings?
Pairs of partners who brought into the lab and sat at different desks in the same room but the desks were angled so you cannot see
One person can see that their partner is scribbling away but cannot see what they are writing exactly
List all the issues in your relationship → 99 questions about their relationships
The other partner is just scribbling away at “list all the things in your bedroom”
Example of how researchers can simulate a feeling among couples and then study them
–> How would a partner react if they thought that their partner thinks that there are a lot of issues in the relationship?
what did the speed dating research help researchers study?
used to help study attraction (discrepancies in what people say they want vs who they choose)
Interdependence theory (textbook)
a framework that explores how individuals in relationships influence one another and make decisions based on mutual outcomes (explores how people assess the rewards, costs, and alternatives associated with those relationships)
The oldest of the 3 theories and developed by Thibaut and Kelley
adapts principles from game theory to provide an analysis of different types of interpersonal situations (matrix)
attachment theory (textbook)
Humans evolved to form strong emotional bonds with their primary caregivers (usually parents) because doing so increased the probability of survival, especially in childhood
what are the 3 most influential theoretical perspectives guiding relationships research today
interdependence theory
attachment theory
evolutionary theory
The strength of an attachment bond (in adulthood usually with a romantic partner) is indexed by the degree to which an individual… (4 things)
feels distressed when separated from the partner
seeks proximity to the partner when upset
experiences emotional relief in the presence of the partner
personally grows and develops with the partner’s sustained support
–> from the attachment theory
what are the 3 attachment styles and where do they come from?
Individuals develop different ways of perceiving and relating to significant others depending on how they have been treated in prior attachment relationships
secure attachment
anxious attachment
avoidant attachment
describe secure attachment
people who have received good care/support → they have positive views of themselves and others and motivate them to turn to significant others for comfort/support when distressed
describe anxious attachment
people who have received inconsistent care/support and worry that significant others do not really love and may eventually leave them → they are vigilant to signs of possible rejection, which generates strong distress and dysfunctional behavior, especially in relationship-threatening situations
describe avoidant attachment
people who have been rejected in the past and believe they cannot trust or depend on significant others → they suppress their needs for closeness/intimacy, become self-reliant, and withdrawal from significant others when they feel distressed
transformation of motivation definition
the process through which the individual reconstrues the given matrix to get the effect matrix (the individuals adjust their decisions based on relational factors: concern for the partners, long term goals, fairness)
–> from interdependence theory
given matrix definition
represents the immediate, objective structure of an interactions –> reflects the rewards and costs associated with each person’s choice or actions assuming they act purely based on SELF INTEREST without considering relational factors
effective matrix
reflects the actual outcomes of an interaction shaped by the individuals’ personal preferences, the relationship dynamics, and considerations beyond immediate self interest
evolutionary theories
provide a broad framework for understanding relationships by focusing on the adaptive challenges our ancestors faced and how these challenges shaped behaviors and traits related to survival and reproduction
There is no single ‘evolutionary theory’ of relationships; instead there are many that focus on different adaptive problems our ancestors faced and some are tied to specific life stages
Evolutionary theories have a hierarchical structure which shows life history theory in relation to five middle-level theories relevant to relationship processes and functioning
what is the central principle linking all the evolutionary theories?
Hamilton’s inclusive fitness theory
Hamilton’s inclusive fitness theory
individuals should have been selected to possess traits and behaviors that typically increased the replication of their genes across generations either…
directly (through their own reproduction) or
indirectly (through the reproduction of their biological relatives)
life history theory
Explains how individuals allocate limited resources (time, energy, effort) to maximize fitness across their lifespan (the central focus is making tradeoffs in resource investment)
Life history theory explains how individuals unconsciously strive to increase their inclusive fitness across the lifespan
→ All organisms must make trade-offs in how they allocate their limited time, effort, and resources to fitness-enhancing investments
(ie. investing in current versus future reproduction, quantity versus phenotypic quality of offspring, or more versus less parenting effort in a given child)
what are the 5 middle level theories of the life history theory
attachment
parent-offspring conflict
sexual conflict
strategic pluralism
parental investment
hybrid perspectives on the theories of love and relationships
A lot of research has begun to integrate and formulate new principles informed by these 3 major theoretical perspectives
interdependence definition
in social relations each person’s outcomes or rewards are influenced by another person’s efforts
middle level theories
the theories within life history theory and are more specific than the overarching LHT –> middle level theories often focus on particular aspects of trade offs
