Lecture 10 - Liking & Loving

Question 1

What is the need to belong?

Answer 1

refers to the fundamental human need to form & maintain strong, stable interpersonal relationships

Question 2

Define relationship & interpersonal relationship

Answer 2

an association b/w 2 or more people

an association b/w 2 people

Question 3

Relationships can be classified in terms of . . .

Answer 3

patterns of exchange between relationship partners

Question 4

What are exchange rules?

Answer 4

patterns according to which relationship partners exchange rewards + punishments

Question 5

What are the 4 ‘relational models’ or patterns of exchange in the Relational Models Theory?

Answer 5

• Communal sharing (groups / pairs, sense of equivalency or common fate - empathy, sharing, partners)
• Authority ranking (linear ordering of social status)
• Equality matching (organizes relationships on even balance - e.g. students)
• Market pricing (cost/benefit calculations - use a proportionality metric/rule of exchange to coordinate relationships) eg. business partners

Question 6

Communal sharing

Answer 6

each according to need

care

family

Question 7

Authority ranking

Answer 7

superior decide for subordinates

respect

military

Question 8

equality matching

Answer 8

equal proportions / direct reciprocity

equality

peer groups

Question 9

Market pricing

Answer 9

benefits proportional to cost

equity

business

Question 10

Many relationships are . . .

Answer 10

MIXED MODEL

different stages of the same relationship can be characterized by different exchange rules

Question 11

Why are close relationships important?

Answer 11

social support => higher psychological + physical wellbeing

effects on mortality risk are comparable to other significant lifestyle factors (E.g smoking cessation, abstinence from alcohol)

Question 12

What is loneliness?

Answer 12

negative feelings arising from unmet needs for affection and self-validation

loneliness is not being alone, but rather feeling a sense of ISOLATION

Question 13

Negative effects of loneliness?

Answer 13

increases risk of negative health conditions, cognitive decline and impaired executive functioning

Question 14

What is attraction and what is liking?

Answer 14

attraction - desire for a voluntary relationship

liking - positive evaluation of an object

Question 15

What are some factors that influence attraction & liking?

Answer 15

1) physical attractiveness - facial symmetry (this can contribute to self-fulfilling prophecy)

2) similarity - similar others validate our beliefs and attitudes (positive reinforcement) - we also assume similar others like us (reciprocal attraction)

3) positive interaction - influenced by proximity, familiarity, and mimicry

these factors show MUTUAL REINFORCEMENT

Question 16

What is mimicry?

Answer 16

non-verbal processes that impact liking

e.g. found that participants non-consciously mimicked confederates’ actions (rubbing face + shaking foot)

Question 17

What is self-disclosure?

Answer 17

the process of revealing info about the self (facts, feelings, thoughts, emotions)

• as a relationship develops, self-disclosure increases in breadth (more topics) and depth (level of intimacy)

increases liking

Question 18

What did Wortman et al find about timing of disclosure?

Answer 18

the timing of disclosure needs to be calibrated
carefully – confederates who disclosed too early on in the conversation were liked
less than those who waited later into the conversation.

Question 19

Why does self-disclosure help to build closer relationships?

Answer 19

• signals trust (via vulnerability)
• enables better behavioural coordination (working towards common goals is easier when relationship partners know about each other’s preferences & abilities)

Question 20

As people self-disclose more. . .

Answer 20

they become more INTERDEPENDENT (where each partner’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours influence each other)

a close relationship is one involving strong, frequent INTERDEPENDENCE

Question 21

What is cognitive interdependence?

Answer 21

there is an intertwining of concepts of self & partner

can be measured using the ‘inclusion of other in the self scale’

Question 22

What is behavioural interdependence?

Answer 22

the extent that each person has an influence on the other partner’s decisions, activities, & plans

May involve moving to a
communal sharing model, in which the mode of interaction is ‘each according to need’.

Giving becomes less contingent on the possibility of reciprocation (less likely
to be governed by an equality matching model).

Question 23

What did Aron et al (1991) find about reciprocation?

Answer 23

Aron et al. (1991) found that
participants are more likely to give less money for themselves when dividing it
between themselves and a best friend, versus between themselves and a stranger.
Furthermore, when the other person is the participant’s best friend, knowledge of
their role in the division makes no difference – but when the other person is a
stranger and they believe the stranger will not know how much they are giving, they
tend to take even more money for themselves (and give less to the stranger). This
shows that expectations of reciprocation matter with a stranger, but not with best
friends. Relationships between best friends are NOT governed by expectations of
reciprocation (being based on a communal sharing model)

Question 24

What is affective (emotional) interdependence?

Answer 24

governed by the level of intimacy (positive emotional bond that includes understanding + support)

With increasing
closeness, relationships move beyond mere reciprocal disclosure to deeper relations
of acknowledgement, acceptance/understanding, emotional responsiveness, and increased sensitivity and care.

Question 25

What is commitment?

Answer 25

describes a long-term orientation towards a relationship, with the intention to maintain it over time & foster lasting, strong emotional bonds with the partner

commitment develops over time, & allows partners to trust that the other will be there for them (projects interdependence into the future)

Question 26

What was Rusbult’s investment model of commitment?

Answer 26

Predicts how committed one will be to another

1) satisfaction level - recognition of the net cognitive, affective, & behavioural benefits provided by the relationship

2) quality of alternatives - desirability of alternatives to the relationship

3) investment size - resources put into the relationship (time, emotional energy, money, possessions, shared friends, etc.)

Question 27

COM = ?

Answer 27

SAT - ALT + INV

Overall, this model states that more satisfaction and investment, with fewer viable
alternatives increases commitment, and therefore increases the probability of a relationship persisting.

Question 28

Types of love (According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love)

Answer 28

1) Intimacy (feeling close, bonded, connected, & interdependent)

2) commitment (long-term orientation to the relationship)

3) passion (physical & sexual attraction, intensity of emotional connection)

Question 29

What are the 2 types of relationship threats?

Answer 29

External threats: include financial strain, gender roles (expectations around household duties), rivals

Internal threats: illness, change/mismatch in preference/expectations

Question 30

Baxter’s series of RELATIONSHIP RULES. If breached, lead to conflict & relationship break-up.

Answer 30

1) Autonomy (females care more)

2) Similarity display (should have similar attitudes etc.)

3) Supportiveness (try to enhance one another’s self-worth & self-esteem)

4) Openness (females value this more)

5) Loyalty/fidelity

6) Shared time

7) Equity (partners should reap rewards commensurate with their investments.
Females value this more than males.)

8) Romance (males care more)

9) Accommodation - refers to the process of responding to negative action by a
relationship partner

Question 31

What are the 2 forms of accommodation?

Answer 31

1) Destructive – criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (Gottman’s 4 housemen)

2) Constructive - open discussion, patience, & forgiveness – tend to have a strengthening of the relationship & deepened commitment going forward

Question 32

Constructive accommodation is aided by?

Answer 32

1) commitment

2) idealisation of partner

3) implicit theories (beliefs about how the world words; growth beliefs vs destiny beliefs)

4) theories of personality (incremental theories vs entity theories)

Question 33

Growth vs destiny beliefs

Answer 33

• Growth beliefs - foster constructive accommodation
• destiny beliefs - less likely to use constructive accommodation to resolve conflict

Question 34

Incremental vs entity theories

Answer 34

Incremental theories - foster active, constructive accommodation processes

entity theories - foster passive, destructive accommodation processes

Question 35

Incremental theorists believe. . .

Answer 35

their partners can change,
and that they themselves have an active role to play in bringing about that change
through active engagement and discussion

Question 36

Entity theorists . . .

Answer 36

believe that people can’t
change, and therefore are more likely to sit back and wait until things resolve
themselves, and not force change on their relationship partner.

Question 37

Examples of passive constructive accommodation strategies

Answer 37

loyalty: wait, hope, pray, support

Question 38

Examples of passive destructive accommodation strategies

Answer 38

neglect: ignore, avoid, let fall apart

Question 39

Examples of active constructive accommodation strategies

Answer 39

Voice: discuss, seek help, suggest change

Question 40

Examples of active destructive accommodation strategies

Answer 40

Exit: abuse, scream, threaten, separate