Leaf Coneybear Flashcards
SCHWARZY
Have you ever been in an underground gymnasium before?
*Subject to change
I’ve never been in a gymnasium before!
RONA
Remember, to get here each child had to win -
Oh but I -
MARCY (as sister)
Leaf! Phone!
Thanks! I got it!
Hello, Leaf speaking. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh.
You’re kidding? I’m gonna represent the Basin in the bee? Wow, I can’t believe it.
*Calling family’s names
Mom, Dad, Marigold, Brook, Pinecone, Raisin, Landscape, Paul - you’re not going to believe this!
BARFEE (as Dad)
What’s up, Leaf?
I made the county finals in the spelling bee!
*FAMILY laughs
SCHWARZY (as Mom)
Oh sweetheart, no, you came in third honey.
I know! but they just called and said that the person who came in first has to go to their bat mitzvah , and the person who came in second… has to attend the bat mitzvah, so they want me to do it!
SCHWARZY (as Mom)
You understand the other kids will have all won their district bees?
*FAMILY laughs
Yeah but well but -
PANCH
CAPYBARA.
What?
PANCH
Your word is Capybara.
Is that a word?
PANCH
That’s a word, yes.
No way - what does it mean?
PANCH
“a tailless largely aquatic South American rodent often exceeding four feet in length.”
Awesome. What else can I ask?
PANCH
You’re allowed to ask for the word’s language of origin or to have the word used in a sentence…
Oh - can you use it in a sentence?
PANCH
Yes. “Don’t look know Pedro but I think that tailless, largely aquatic four-and a half foot rodent swimming next to you may be a capybara.”
Wow. That didn’t help at all!
PANCH
Are you ready to spell the word Mr. Coneybear?
No, but it was fun to come here -
(to family) Hi guys - my whole family’s here which is really…
(trance) C-A-P-Y-B-A-R-A. Capybara.
PANCH (Capybara)
That is correct.
It is?
I can’t believe it.
PANCH
Miss Ostrovsky.
It’s unbelievable, I just said the first letters that came into my head, and that “y” was really…
KIDS (ad libbing)
ooh - Nationals! Top ten…
Beautiful country.
PANCH
ACOUCHI.
A-what?
*a whaaaaat?
PANCH
Listen to the whole word, please. Acouchi.
At a spelling bee?!
What does it mean?
PANCH
“A South American rodent of the genus Myoprocta, resembling an agouti.”
It’s funny how I keep getting South American rodents.
PANCH
Hilarious.
Look, honestly? I’ve never heard this word before - and I have no idea how to spell it.
PANCH
Mr. Coneybear!
I’ve forgotten the word.
PANCH
Oh my God. Acouchi.
Right, the rodent resembling the other rodent - what was the other…
A-C-O-U-C-H-I. Acouch.
RONA
It’s a hard age for girls.
fall out of seat
I fell.
*put helmet on
CHIP
Leaf - that girl [ad lib]? Is that your sister?
Yeah, that’s Marigold.
CHIP
You know something, Barf: I may have lost, but you are the biggest loser here.
*Enter from SL
Back from snack break
RONA
We have, home-schooled from the Basin, Leaf Coneybear.
Mom, I’m in the finals!!!
PANCH
Mr. Coneybear [Incomprehensibly fast word]
[Incomprehensibly fast word and spelling]
*make sure to spell in trance!
PANCH
Noun.
Chloro-what?
SCHWARZY
L-I
V-A
PANCH
I’m sorry, that is incorrect.
It is?
MITCH
Over the years, he remained in touch with scores of people he had comforted:
Dear Mitch - [ad lib]
*talk about juice box & hugs?
MARCY
She is very happy.
*epilogue
Leaf Coneybear has cats.
