Carl Dad Flashcards
SCHWARZY
I think I studied this one with my dads.
Segue
*pace around SCHWARZY
SCHWARZY
S-E-G-U-E
Good. Siphon.
SCHWARZY
S-I-P-H-O-N
Good. Cystitis.
SCHWARZY
S-
No. Think.
SCHWARZY
C-
Good.
SCHWARZY
I-
No! Logainne - are you concentrating?
DAN DAD
Maybe it’s time for a break?
Dan, we’re in the middle of a word here.
DAN DAD
You know she doesn’t spell well when her blood sugar is low, Carl.
We gotta build up her stamina - the bee could last three hours.
DAN DAD
Don’t you talk to me about stamina, Carl!
Daddy conference. Now.
DAN DAD
And we have faith in you, honey.
Yes we do. Go get ‘em!
SCHWARZY
(sung) JESUS CHRIST, WHAT ABOUT ME?
Practice your breathing, Logainne.
SCHWARZY
(sung) WHICH IS WHY I GOTTA WIN THIS SPELLING BEE
(to DAN DAD) Take another picture for her B.M.
DAN DAD
Don’t call her that, Carl.
Sorry. Her “Birth Mother.”
RONA
What is wrong with you?
(to OLIVE) Thanks Sweetie, I’ll take it from here.
(to BARFEE) Can we have a little privacy please?
Breathe, Logainne. You’re okay, buck up.
*pours soda on floor
Oh that’s no good.
*aside to SCHWARZY
*after soda spill
No, no, let that dry.
*pull SCHWARZY aside
The foot, we have to disable the foot.
SCHWARZY
What foot?
The magic foot.
SCHWARZY
Wouldn’t that be wrong?
Do you want to win?
SCHWARZY
Yes, but I believe in ethical conduct.
And isn’t having a magic foot an unfair advantage?
SCHWARZY
I don’t have a magical foot.
Or a mother?
RONA
This is not a soccer game.
*shoot RONA a look
*have a brief moment w/SCHWARZY before exiting
