Leadership for Worship chapters 2 + 3

Question 1

The questions that you get asked in an interview reveal a great deal about your _____ and the ______ they have experienced with past staff members.

Answer 1

pastor, problems

Question 2

The most important questions–from either side– of the pastor’s desk are those that clarify ________.

Answer 2

expectations

Question 3

The relationship between associates and senior pastors has a lot of parallels to the ______ _______.

Answer 3

marriage relationship

Question 4

It is important to identify our ________ before the first interview.

Answer 4

expectations

Question 5

It’s time to leave (your church position) when you can no longer be your pastor’s ________!

Answer 5

cheerleader

Question 6

________, ________, _________ is required to avoid issues with differing expectations.

Answer 6

communication, communication, communication

Question 7

The guy out front is the one who gets shot down ____. It may seem that the pastor gets all the respect, but he/she also catches most of the ____.

Answer 7

first, flak

Question 8

Like a marriage, a church staff relationship must be based on ____.

Answer 8

trust

Question 9

Trust and _____ ______– the glue that holds a staff together.

Answer 9

mutual respect

Question 10

How to betray a pastor’s respect in 7 easy steps:

Answer 10

1. Discuss agreements between you and your pastor with members of the congregation.
2. Challenge his/her leadership publically.
3. Spread abroad the news about who came for pastoral counseling, what was said in a staff meeting, and other areas of confidentiality.
4. When you are considering leaving, let the pastor hear it from friends, other staff members, or congregation members before he hears it from you.
5. When you have a confrontation with someone in the church, don’t tell the pastor about it. Let him find out through the grapevine or, better still, in a board meeting.
6. Don’t follow through on assignments or projects you are asked to do.
7. Take your youth choir to Las Vegas!

Question 11

It’s vital for pastors and associates to pray together and not just over ____ and ______ but over ______ and family needs as well.

Answer 11

plans, programs, personal

Question 12

No matter how good our relationship is with someone, it is hard to accept ______. Somehow even so-called ________ criticism doesn’t feel very constructive. Regardless of how it feels, it is what we do with _______ that counts.

Answer 12

criticism, constructive, criticism

Question 13

Admittedly there are pastors who feel threatened by _______ associates.

Answer 13

successful

Question 14

How to make sure your pastor doesn’t feel threatened by success:

Answer 14

• Express your support
• Compliment him
• Show him you’re on the team

Question 15

Glean from criticism, _______ or otherwise what there is to glean and try to let the rest ___. Easier said than done.

Answer 15

constructive, go

Question 16

There are only a few options available to us when we are having relationship problems. Here are three:

Answer 16

1. Confront
2. Stay out
3. Leave

Question 17

Whatever option you choose, do it ______ and ______. God will give you the grace–and that’s a promise.

Answer 17

carefully, prayerfully

Question 18

One of the biggest shocks in ministry has been the discovery that people are very ______. Self-esteem is something most people work a lifetime to attain, and many never get a good grip on it. Even ________, overachievers can actually have a very thin veneer that is often brittle and easily shattered.

Answer 18

fragile, over-confident

Question 19

If you find yourself in this [tough] situation, you must make every effort possible to communicate the true intention of your ______.

Answer 19

motives

Question 20

I find that good, competent, talented singers in volunteer choirs and Christian schools have a much lower assessment of their musical abilities than I. There are exceptions! But most of the time, I feel that they need me to_______ them and to let them know that I ______ in them.

Answer 20

challenge, believe

Question 21

But for most people, nothing is more emotionally transparent than the _____…singing publically makes us exposed and vulnerable.

Answer 21

voice

Question 22

Cultivating excellence in music is a _____ goal, but it must not take _______ over the people who make the music.

Answer 22

worthy, precedence

Question 23

“People need people who _____ in them, trust them, and ______ much of them.”

Answer 23

believe, expect

Question 24

The challenge when dealing with people-related problems is to correct the problems without _______ or _______ the person. Remember, we never have the right to ______ embarrass someone in order to curb their undesirable behavior.

Answer 24

alienating, offending, publicly

Question 25

Staying Out of the Middle:

Answer 25

1. Recognize psychological games
2. Pray for wisdom
3. Know where your loyalties lie.
4. Encourage face-to-face discussion

Question 26

Use the sandwich method for confrontation:

Answer 26

First, say something you sincerely like or appreciate about the person. Then address the problem. Close with another positive statement letting the other person know you value him/her.

Question 27

When you have to confront:

Answer 27

1. Realizing that timing is important.
2. Understand that privacy is necessary.
3. Think through the problem.
4. Begin with a positive statement.
5. Listen to the other person.
6. Be specific.
7. Don’t respond in kind.

Question 28

Dealing with the pastor’s wife or family is a ______ and _____ situation.

Answer 28

delicate, touchy

Question 29

A sense of humor helps too. Laughter has been described as the _______ of life.

Answer 29

lubricant

Question 30

“Humor can be used to patch up ______, apologize, say ‘no,’ _______, gain cooperation, dissolve a _______ confrontation, and keep a small misunderstanding from escalating into a big deal.” (William Ellis)

Answer 30

differences, criticize, hostile

Question 31

Some ways to put more laughter in your life:

Answer 31

1. Smile, laugh, be cheerful. Poke fun at yourself. Don’t confuse your sense of responsibility or dignity with taking yourself too seriously.
2. Spend time with family and friends, especially ministry colleagues, who laugh.
3. Collect things that make you laugh.
4. Be on the lookout for inside jokes in your family, on staff, and in your musical groups. Shared humor creates a sense of belonging.
5. Try to look at even your most difficult problems with the eye of an observer seeking out the smallest element that could be seen as amusing, silly, downright hilarious.
6. Remember that humor isn’t always appropriate, and avoid laughter that hurts another person.

Question 32

Matthew 10:16

Answer 32

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

Question 33

Be shrewed, or “wise.” Recognize the_____ people play.

Answer 33

games

Question 34

“You can’t expect to be a ______ employee if you don’t make yourself ______.” -Donald Trump

Answer 34

valuable, valuable

Question 35

“Graduating from college is a _______, not an ending.”

-Donald Trump

Answer 35

beginning

Question 36

“A know-it-all is like a _____ door. Don’t be a know-it-all.”

Answer 36

closed

Question 37

“The more I ______, the more I realized I don’t know.”

Answer 37

learned

Question 38

Where to find new music:

Answer 38

• Praisecharts.com
• Gospel Maps
• IBC Live
• UPCI music
• Ntimemusic.com

Question 39

Colossians 3:23

Answer 39

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men;”