L 10,11,12,13,14 Flashcards
Synthetic happiness def
a system of cognitive processes which
helps us change our views of the world, so we feel better about the
world we live in when things don’t do our way.
Natural vs synthetic happiness
Natural H; we get what we wanted
Synthetic H; what we make (synthesize) from not getting what we want
Annoying features of brain
Miswanting
– Mind lies to us
* Awesome stuff (rethink it)
– We get used to stuff – hedonic adaption
– Biases
* Impact bias
* Focalism
* Immune neglect
– Risk-averse behavior
Overcome Impediments / Biases
Can’t change how our mind works, so we need to deal with
it somehow; change how we do things
Sleep
* Exercise
* Intentional effort – 40% solution (Sonja Lyubomirsky)
– Holy Grail – is what we think and how we act – as we choose our attitude
- Relationships
- Gratitude
- Serve others
- Savor
- Optimism (realistic)
- Resilience/Coping
- Grit (passion and perseverance for long-term goals)- Angela Duckworth, U. Penn
- Avoid excessive behaviors
Thwart hedonic adaptation 3 steps
- Experiences - when we purchase future experiences we are much more excited and more pleasant
- Savoring - stepping outside of experience to review and appreciate it
- Gratitude - extremely powerful thankfulness for what you have
5 steps to reset reference points
- Concretley re-experience - new job.. what was your old point - ref point
- Concretely observe - other job, college… maybe noy better after alll
- Avoid social comparisons - gratitide is the envy killer
- Interrupt your consumption - Taking breaks from enjoyable activities helps reset appreciation.
- Increase your variety - Switching up experiences prevents adaptation and keeps things exciting.
Better wanting things that actually makes us happier - Strategies
stuff hat really makes us happy
- acts of kindness
- social connections
- sleep
- excserice
- using top strengths
- intentional activities ( gratitude, savoring, self compassion, self care, meditation)
- rewirements
- time affluence
- mind control (mind wandering, meditation)
- flow
- growth mindset
Leisure vs Work
Work: high challenge, high skill, high self-efficacy
Leisure: Low challenge, low skills, boredom
Kindness to make us happier
Just thinking about previous acts of kindness causes brain to react favorably
Live to Give actions with positive results
Social connections and happiness
- strong family ties
- more close friends
- more romantic ties
- bus study
elderly
- decrease mortality
- decrease illnesses, stress
Epley - we are social beings
Shift to the Good stuff
Work –> Purpose
Grades –> Love of Learning
Acts of kindness - L2G mentality
Social connections (Epley the importance of being social)
Mind wandering and solution
people mindwanger almost 50% of waking hours
Ability to mindwander is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost
solution –> meditation (subjects are less stimuli to pain when meditating)
Goal Setting
Specificity - precision
Mental Contrasting - how great our goal will be and visualization of what will get in our way
Planning (goal setting) 3 things
Implementation Intention - If-then-Plan (Better goal attainment)
WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacles, Plan)
SHARPE (Stuff Happens, Adversity, Resilience, Plan, Energize)
Resilience definition
Ability to bounce back from a negative emotional experience (optimism, hope, humor, genetics)
Flexible adaptation to changing demands of stressful experiences (mental agility, self-regulation, self-awarness)
Ability to grow from a challenge (connections, positive institutions)
Protective factors of resilience
optimism, humor, hope, genes, self-awareness, self-regulation, mental agility, optimism,
Optimism - Protective Factor #1 and its explanatory styles
- Can be learned but there is a genetic component
- lots of benefits (less depressive episodes, better relationships, increased cogniytive effects, improved health)
“Me not me”
“Always not always”
“Everything. not everything”
See situation as challenge, not threat, what they can and cannot control in situation
Humor and Hope - Protective factor #2
Humor –> emotional caffeine, consume humor, dont have to supply it
Hope –> everytghing will be alright . circumstances are NEVER hopeless
Thinking Traps
- Mind reading (assume what others are thinking, or expect the other person to know what we are thinking, blocks communication)
- me ( I am the sole problem –> sadness, guilt)
- them (They are the cause of my problems)
- catastrophizing ( most destructive and most common leads to anxiety SNS, downhill spiral )
- helplessness ( loss of control, bad things will stay)
These Negate Protective factors . we need to avoid being wed to rigidity and old habits or ways of thinking about situations
Real time resilience
ABC’s
- Activating event
- Beliefs : challenge negative thoughts, reframe the event, see your evidence, plan
- Consequences
Resilience “One size does not fit all”
Breadth of human experiences
Metacognition
“Thinking about our thinking”
* We can CHOOSE our reaction to our feelings (F>T>E>B)
Comes into play as we cope with stress, demonstrate resilience in
our response to adversity, and identify thinking traps ( mindreading, me, them, hopelessness, catastrophizing)
Four Idols MPPP and remedies
Money, Power, Pleasure, Prestige
These make getting happier harder
Remedies:
– Focus less on ourselves
* “Live to Give” mantra
* Focus less on comparisons/ change your reference points
* Look to the “Given Good” (CS Lewis)
– Emotional intelligence
* Choose a better emotion
* Don’t let feelings dictate the entirety our emotions (F>T>E>B)
* Don’t let emotions/iceberg beliefs dictate immediate actions (ABCs)
* ABCs again
Four Pillars FFFW
Family –> love
Frienships –> forgivness, honesty
Faith –> Homo prospectus - too much fture
Work - abilities meets interests
