JUDAISM - marriage Flashcards
marriage
Within the Jewish tradition , a person who does not marry is considered an incomplete person. Genesis 2:18 says, “it is not good for man to be alone; I will make a fitting helper for him”. The Talmud states, “when a man is without a life wife, he lives without joy, without blessing and without good” (Babylonian talmud, yevamot 62 B)”. The Hebrew word for marriage is KIDDUSHIN, ‘sanctification’ . One partner is consecrated to the other. Marriage is seen as a spiritual bond between two people and as a fulfilment of God’s commandment to populate the world, it is the ideal human state established by God at the time of creation and a successful marriage is the most perfect symbol of a meaningful relationship between God and the Jewish people. In the Torah woman is seen to be taken for man side and thus they are seen as an equal part of the same entity.
- During the Brit Milah (male circumcision) and often at Bar MItvah’s, a blessing will be recited for a life of Torah, chuppah and good deeds. The implication is that the definition of an ideal life in Judaism is one that includes all three of these elements.
- Married couple considered a ‘complete organism’
- The value of ‘shalom bayit’ (peace in the home) is held; “no man should live with a serpent” (Babylion Talmud, ketubot 72a) – and the relationship between husband and wife should be characterised by peace and happiness.
- The laws and customs of marriage ceremonies glorify the process of marriage and the maintenance of a successful marriage, with a Jewish marriage consisting of:
Marriage consists of two parts:
• KIDDUSHIN: (‘sanctification’); the first part (betrothal) of the two-part process of Jewish marriage, which creates the legal relationship without the mutual obligations; “behold you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel”.
• NISSUIN: (‘elevation’); the second part of the two-part Jewish marriage process, after which the bride & groom live together as husband & wife.
significant practices in marriage
- ketubah
- niddah
- chuppah
- sheva brakhot
- rings
- mikveh
ketubah
KETUBAH: Marriage contract – confirming the covenant obligations, divorce requirements and protecting the rights of women, with husbands being the provider of food, clothes and sexual satisfaction.
- Before marriage ceremony, ketubah is signed, with two witnesses present
- Progressive/Conservative: do not use ketubah, using a certificate of marriage instead
- Orthodox: still use ketubah; linking them to couples from past generations and reminding them to protect each other like those from the past did.
niddah
NIDDAH: Jewish laws relating to purity – husband is forbidden to be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating.
- Relationship is regulated by the Niddah
- Talmud describes as being under the wedding canopy again
- Many Jewish women, whether Orthodox, Conservative or Progressive, find that the niddah gives them a sense of identity & holiness
chuppah
CHUPPAH: Canopy used in Jewish weddings, symbolising the home that the couple will make together
- Usually done outside to recognise Abraham covenant; “your descendant will be as numerous as the stars” (Gen 17)
- It is open to all guests, as a symbol to Abraham being open to all guests
sheva brakhot
SHEVA BRAKHOT: Seven blessings, recited by officiator, in presence of two witnesses
- Blessings relate to God, who has created everyone in his image
- 7 prayers/blessings, recited at ceremony and for 7 days after; wine, God, couple, community
rings
RINGS: Groom presents bride with ring (orthodox), stating; “you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the Law of Moses and Israel”
- symbolic of ancient property laws involving women
mikveh
MIKVEH: Jewish ritual bath containing ‘living water’ (spring/rain), used for ritual purification by women
- Required by the Torah; “He must wash his clothes and bathe himself with water and he will be clean.’” (Leviticus 14: 1–4, 7, 9)
- Personifies womb, grave and rebirth
- Individual goes through Tevilah (full body immersion), changing from ‘tamay’ to ‘tahor’ (unclean to ritually clean)
marriage practice reflecting the beliefs of judaism
The practice of marriage is essential to the attainment of the principal beliefs of Judaism, upholding; the belief in one God, divinely inspired moral law and the importance of the covenant – thus heightening its continued importance within the tradition.
marriage reflecting belief in one god
BELIEF IN ONE GOD: central idea in Judaism, involving the commitment of the Jewish people to an incorporeal God who is creator of the universe, source of moral law. Omnipotent (all powerful), omniscient (all-knowing) and omnipresent (everywhere).
- This declaration is central to Jewish life, evident in the Shema “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is Our God. The Lord is One.”
MARRIAGE LINK
- While God is separate from the world, he continues to be involved in the world and its people
- “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you’re might (Deu 6:4)
- This relationship between God and Israel is compared to that between chassan (groom) and (kallah) bride, as one of kiddushin (sanctity).
- SHEVA BRACHOT: seven blessings reference this belief, recognising God as creator of everything and humanity in his image.
marriage reflecting divinely inspired moral law
DIVINELY INSPIRED MORAL LAW: Belief that Torah contains divinely inspired moral law binding Jews to God; consists of the 613 mitzvot/commandments (248 positive- faithful to covenant and 365 negative- abstain from), covering all aspects of life and worship.
MARRIAGE LINK
- The giving of the Torah to Moses on Mt Sinai, is a metaphor for a betrothal ceremony, wedding God to the Jewish people; “Everything the Lord has said, we will do” (Exodus 24).
- Marriage is prominent within the 613 mitzvot i.e. “you must not commit adultery” (Ex 20), “no one is to approach any close relatives to have sexual relations” (Lev 28).
- Words of consecration within the marriage ceremony reference divinely inspired moral law; “Behold you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the Law of Moses and of Israel”
marriage reflecting the covenant
THE COVENANT: Agreement; referenced heavily within the Torah, with the two main ones being the covenant between God and Abraham; “I will give you many, many descendants”(male circumcision as sacred covenant – ‘milah’) - (Gen 28) and the covenant at Mt Sinai; ““Write these words and keep them, for these are the words of the covenant to Israel” (Ex 20:3)”.
- First covenant between God and Abraham, second covenant began the religion of Judaism
- Torah is expression of the covenant
- Requirements of covenant = ‘halachah’ (jewish law) – God’s love is in return for the following of the halchah, varying between Jews.
individual significance of marriage
- Deeper understanding of the faith, through instruction with the rabbi
- Elevates the relationship, mundane to supernatural
- Ketubah - Provides structure for the family, male/female responsibilities dash relationship building with God
- Breaking of the glass sends a message to the Jewish community that even in the most joyous of occasions, joy cannot be complete until:
o G-d’s kingdom is complete
o Israel is brought back from exile
o The Holy Temple is rebuilt
Marriage serves three purposes; procreation, love and companionship and establishing family unit/home
PROCREATION
- The propagation of the human species, as commanded in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful and multiply”.
- According to Talmudic law, this obligation is deemed to have been fulfilled when a man has begotten at least one son and one daughter, just as God created male and female in the Garden of Eden.
LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP
- Marriage affords loving companionship.
- Again in the words of the Book of Genesis, “It is not good that man should be alone…. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:18 and 24).
ESTABLISH FAMILY UNIT AND HOME
- Marriage establishes the family as the basic social unit, and the home as the “little sanctuary” (Ezekiel 11:16).
- It is where children can grow up under the loving protection and guidance of their parents, and where the Jewish religion can be practiced and transmitted from generation to generation.
marriage significance for community
- Community building, expanding the community through having children
- ‘Mohar’, traditional gift to brides family usually a coin , new house begins slash acknowledgement of family
- Community celebration, joy for community in face fulfilment of mitzvah and future children bring joy
- public celebration, ceremony requires witnesses
- Marriage is seen as a personal, Contractual relationship – being a covenant and religious obligation
- Marriage is seen as the fulfilment of the Mitzvah. All Jewish men and women are expected to marry. This is the first commandment – located in Genesis.
- Marriage structures the lives of the couple and assigns clear roles to each partner (eg: Shabbat roles)
- Marriage signifies the beginning of a new family
- Marriage focuses on the centrality of the home and family and thus the continuation of the Jewish tradition.
- Marriage is a way of holiness for the couple. It is through their relationship and the following of the mitzvah that the couple builds their relationship with God.
- Within the marriage ceremony, the 7 blessings praise God for the creation of all things, linking the couple to the story of creation and the history of the Jewish people.
- Elevates the ordinary/mundane to the supernatural.
- It is a means of contact with God, who is present at the ceremony. For example, the recitation of the 7 blessings is designed to sanctify the ordinary, to transform this particular couple as their love embodies God’s creation, revelation, and redemption in the here and now.
- A means of identification with Judaism and with the Jewish community.
- It helps the couple to understand more clearly the central beliefs of Judaism.
- The marriage ceremony also strengthens the community of believers by putting the couple on equal footing with other married couples and making them responsible for ensuring their life style is in keeping with Jewish teaching and tradition.
- Take part in the ceremony/ act as witnesses
- Touched and affected, seeing the marriage take place
- Pleased at efforts taken to reduce divorce/ marital problems (i.e. steps before the ceremony)
- Play a part in the ceremony and are thus further touched by the core ideals of marriage:
o Chuppah escorts
o Hold chuppah
