Interpersonal Skills Flashcards
Why interpersonal skills are critical (4)
- Everyday ‘life’ skills to communicate and interact
with other people - People who have worked on developing strong
interpersonal skills are usually more successful in
both their professional and personal lives. - Employers seek to hire staff with ‘strong
interpersonal skills’ - they want people who will
work well in a team and be able to communicate
effectively with colleagues, customers and clients. - We are social animals - our lives and meaning
emerge out of our relationships with others
What do you need to learn and why? in terms of Interpersonal Skills (6)
1- Understanding yourself in relationship to others
2- Assertiveness
3- Empathy and listening - the building blocks of trust
4- Professionalism in meetings and dealings with others
5- How to be a skilled helper
6- Influencing skills
Self-awareness definition:
Self awarenedd concerns knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions. It contains three competencies:
1- Emotional Awareness
2- Accurate Self-Assessment
3- Self-Confidence
Definition- Emotional Awareness
Recognising one’s emotions and their effects
Definition: Accurate Self-Assessment
Knowing ones strengths and limitations
Definition: Self-confidence
A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities
Self-confidence definition:
Your subjective description of who you think you are, filtered through your own perceptions
Who you are is reflected in your : (3)
Attitudes
Beliefs
Values
Attitudes def:
Learned predispositions to respond favourably or unfavourably to something (likes-dislikes)
Beliefs def:
The way in which we structure reality (true-false)
Values def:
Enduring concepts of what’s right and wrong (good-bad)
How the self-concept develop? (4)
1- Interaction with others: The figurative
looking glass. Our self changes because of
how other people respond to us. “we are not
only our brother’s keeper, we are our
brother’s maker”
2- Association with groups: some we are born
into, some we choose. Peer pressure is a
powerful force in shaping attitudes and
behaviour
3- Roles we assume: e.g. gender roles,
4- Self-labels: we interpret our experience,
make judgements about ourselves and
simplify them into labels
What is the Johari Window?
Application can
guide in self-
awareness and
contribute to
interpersonal
communications
4 parts:
1- Open self
2- Blind self
3- Unknown self
4- Hidden self
Self-esteem definition:
It comes from within- our inner voice. It reflects our overall subjective judgement of our own worth. Based on self-concept.
Influenced by personality, by past experiences, successes, failures, and relationships with others.
Sometimes disguised
1-2-1 Communications
Communication Styles:
(4)
Passive
Passive Aggressive
Assertive
Aggressive
Passive Communication:
Putting others needs before your own - Hides your true needs, feelings, emotions, and beliefs.
Passive aggressive communication:
Deceptively putting your needs above others
Assertive communication:
Standing up for your own needs while respecting the needs of others
Aggressive communication:
Putting your needs before the needs of others
What is empathy ?
The ability to emotionally
understand:
* what other people feel;
* see things from their point of
view; and
* imagine yourself in their place.
Essentially, it is putting yourself in
someone else’s position and
feeling what they are feeling.
Whats the importance of empathy? (3)
1- Helps us to cimmunicate our ideas in a way that makes sense to others, and it helps us understand others when they communicate with us
2- In the workplace, empathy can show a deep respect for co-workers
3- An empathetic leadership style can make everyone feel like a team and increase productivity, morale and loyalty
What helps in developing your skills for empathy? (5)
1.Listen carefully to what others are saying
2.Share your own feelings and experiences
3.Don’t jump to conclusions about how someone feels
4.Be aware of your own opinions and how they might colour your
understanding of others
5.Offer your support, whether it’s a helping hand or a listening ear.
COMPARING 1-2-1 WITH OTHER AGRIC.
ADVISORY METHODS
for clients: Most preferred method: unique, own environment, confidential
For advisors: Most expensive, smaller number of clients, widely used, dependent on trust.
What is the preferred communication method for many people?
For many people when it comes to
building trust and collaboration,
face-to face communication
remains the preferred channel
-You need to make sure you don’t undermine trust. “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” - You need to get back to that person if you are going to say that
What makes you a good advisor?
-Trust
Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or
ability of someone or something
-The skilled helper
Many people deal daily
with others who need their
help, support, advice or expertise
How they deliver that
“help” determines its
success and also impacts
on the relationship they
build with the person they
are helping.
-Helping people
Do to
Do for
Do with
What’s a good advisory relationship? (6)
-Mutual respect and trust
-Professional Values and competence, expertise, empathy, honesty, and commitment are all relevant to communicating
-Getting the facts right and conveying then in an understandable way are not enough
-Information offered should be simple , relevant and responsive to the needs and values of individual clients
-Two way exchange of opinions and values , as well as information
-Truthfulness is fundamental
Trust in advisors among farmers is a combination of:
trusting the source of information and the individual advisor delivering the information
- Trust can be gained quickly, however will become deeper overtime so long as
the experiences of the relationship remain good - Personality qualities, relational competence, expertise and professionalism are
all important characteristics of an advisor which form the building blocks to
creating an effective farmer – advisor relationship - Advisors with high levels of trust are widely used in farm decision making and
the adoption of new technologies
What is the skilled helper model ?
- Three stages of helping the client to identify and
articulate: - Current scenario - What’s the present state of affairs?
*2. Preferred scenario - What do I need instead of what I’ve got?
*3. Action strategies - How do I get what I need?
‘Stages overlap and interact’ – problem-solving messy!
Basic stages in a 1-2-1 meeting:
- Preparation
- Opening
- Questioning/Listening
- Reflecting and summarising
- Closing
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the preparation look like? (6)
What is the purpose of the meeting?
What do you want to get out of the meeting?
Is there any research you should do in advance?
Is there anything you need to prepare in advance?
What are your expectations (hopes and fears) with
regard to how the other person will be thinking or
feeling about the matters to be discussed?
What else is happening in the wider context that
may affect the meeting?
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the opening communication look like? (3)
First impressions count and will affect future
communication
Observe appropriate formalities, introduce yourself, smile
and be friendly
Set a tone of encouragement and positive reinforcement
to:
*Encourage the other person to talk
*Signify interest in what they have to say
*Pave the way for the development and/or maintenance of a
relationship
*Show warmth and openness.
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the questions look like?(6)
Start a conversation.
Obtain information and test
understanding.
Draw the other person into a
conversation.
Show interest in a person.
Seek support or agreement.
Open questions vs closed questions
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the listening look like?(6)
Be prepared to listen.
Keep an open mind and concentrate on
the main direction of the speaker’s
message.
Avoid distractions, if at all possible.
Delay judgment until you have heard
everything.
Be objective.
The speaker should not be stereotyped.
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the reflect and clarify look like?(6)
Feedback / paraphrase what you have understood
the other person to have said
You can check that you have understood the
message clearly.
The speaker gets feedback as to how the message
is received.
It shows interest in, and respect for, what the other
person has to say.
You are demonstrating that you are considering the
other person’s viewpoint
For the 1-2-1 meeting, what should the close communication look like? (5)
Summarise to allow both parties reflect and
agree what has been discussed and as
guide for steps forward
Use subtle (or not so subtle) indicators to
bring things to a close
Don’t close too abruptly
Leave space for arrangements to meet
again if necessary
Use socially acceptable parting gestures
List Six Ways to Make People Like You: (Dale Carnegie)
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember a person’s name
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk
about themselves. - Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and
do it sincerely.
Conclusion - What really matters?
Soft skills matter:
They can be developed and strengthened through
process of self-awareness, reflection, taking feedback
Review Questions 1-2-1
- What are the four elements of the Johari Window? Which element contributes
most to effective interpersonal communication? - Distinguish between assertive, passive, aggressive and passive/aggressive
communication styles. - How can you develop skills for empathy?
- What are the five basic stages for all one-to-one consultations / meetings with a
client? - Distinguish between a person’s attitudes, beliefs and values.
- What are the 3 stages in Egan’s Skilled Helper Model?
