Improving Mental Health for All Things Flashcards
One of the worst ways to keep being depressed, even though you’re doing all the work you can?
moving goalposts;
What are the best ways to show support for others?
- Listen without judgement
- Support emotion without seeking
What is a good mindset to want to meet other people and not dread it, while also being “true to yourself” and improving your own perceived “value” in the eyes of others?
- Have higher standards for yourself
- Have low expectations of others
Why does the brain draw a blank in conversation?
- You need a plan, intention, and practice before starting
- There is not “right way” to socialize (sandbox game)
- You are not used to it
- You are taken by surprise
- You struggle to pay attention to the other person, as you are too focused inward
- You are not completely ok with who you are now (disconnect between who you are and who you want to be)
What is depression?
Anger turned against the self
What typically results in someone committing suicide ultimately?
- They don’t think things can possibly get better
- They do not fear dying, or will commit it despite fear
What role does the human body have in your emotions?
How you look or express in gestures/face, or even physical sensations correlate with positive and negative emotion.
What is emotion?
How to deal with and heal from numbness?
- Acknowledge it, don’t self criticize, and look for hope
- Identify root cause of emptiness
- Notice and appreciate what you do have
- Take care of your health, prepare routines to deal with life in meantime
- Seek new experiences, environments, and activity
- Mindfulness and self reflection continuously
- Get support overtime
Fundamental double-edged sword of the mind concerning growth vs comfort?
What is good about suffering, pain, and discomfort?
What is bad about suffering, pain, and discomfort?
What is Loneliness? What is it meant for?
Why am I lonely? Why do I struggle with being social?
- used to be playful and mischievious when I was way young - adventurous, loved cars, transformers, star wars, legos
- shortly after I became really shy and quiet, as a either gained weight, went further into school, and/or didn’t feel connected to any of my peers
- I wanted to make friends, but didn’t really find any. I stopped caring and just “hung around” my academically smarter classmates. Never initiated or had anyone that wanted to initiate conversation with me
- Late senior year, knew I needed to get used to socializing, so I started to talk more. Was too nice and sounded needy, not to mention emotionally numb from over the years.
- When I do “try” I tend to get to comfortable around the same people, and struggle to continue the relationship
- Other times, I don’t try at all, as I don’t think anything will become of it, and it is too uncomfortable to initiate conversation; pretty much have to be in a good mood, willing to get to know the person, and in a quiet & convenient place
- Cannot function socially if demotivated state, loud environment, or random unorganized circumstances
- Do listen more than I speak. However, I can have issues with “vibing” (be too logical and unexpressive, only feel positive with humor) and “reading” (body language, cues, other people’s interest)
Types of loneliness?
Being Shy?
Thinking there is something or somethings wrong with you that keep other people from wanting to connect or like you.
How to be more comfortable w/ Myself
How to be more comfortable around others?
How to connect better w/ others?
- Connect with yourself first; can’t stop being shameful by putting on a mask and hiding; being around peers who rejected you will make you not like yourself. Know the difference between earning your own likeness and trying to fit in with others
- Start small with someone who is “easier” to connect with
How to Quit People Pleasing?
- Be Ok with failure, not getting close with people, and realizing other people are not as close to you as you think you are to them
2.Set boundaries with unhealthy people - Know what you like and are interested in, and tune in on what others are too
- say no to peer pressure
- take risks to gradually get to know new people - patient, slow, watch out for red flags
Healing and connecting with others?
Building a surrogate family
Didn’t fit in? How to understand and move forward (practically) - part 1
- Understand your social exclusion, isolation, or inferior inner child
- List everyday social situations in which you feel anxious and uncomfortable - that you might get rejections
- List group situations you tend to avoid
- List ways you overcompensate for feeling different or inferior - losing weight, making more income, thinking differently about normal things
- List the qualities in yourself that make you feel alienated, vulnerable, or inferior - fat, too quiet, too different in thinking and behavior, not interested in mainstream stuff
Didn’t fit in? How to understand and move forward (practically) - part 2
- If you’re convinced a flaw is real, write down steps to overcome it. Update and make changes to your plans overtime
- Make flashcards (here)
- Make a hierarchy of social and work groups you avoid, expose yourself to them gradually
- Have a plan to go to events/places, and initiate conversations. The point: to test what really is a flaw or not (could start small with individuals prior to)
What about flaws that you cannot change?
Are they really important? Things like height or my race for instance (not important to me - other people tend to believe otherwise)
