Icebreakers and first vibes Flashcards
Playful version of: “What do you do in your free time?”
“So when you’re not pretending to be a responsible adult, what are your secret hobbies?”
“What do you do in your free time?” If she says GYM OR YOGA
“You’re one of those superhumans with core strength. I’m threatened already.”
“What do you do in your free time?” If she keeps it VAGUE
“Is this you leaning into your international woman of mystery persona?”
“Do you have any siblings?” If she says ELDEST
“Ah, the responsible one. That explains the calm confidence. Also: probably excellent at delegating.”
“Do you have any siblings?” If she says YOUNGEST
“Ah, so are you the chaos element?”
“Do you have any siblings?” If she says ONLY CHILD
“So what you’re saying is you had to play every board game alone? That builds character.”
Lightly loaded questions
1. “What’s something you definitely do better than most people — but would never admit on a first date?”
(Sets her up to brag slightly or flirt back — ‘I’m a great kisser’, etc.)
2. “What’s your most irrational but deeply held opinion?”
(Fun for hot takes — and gently turns into ‘let’s challenge each other’ energy.)
“Fake-serious” interviewer
- “Right. One-word answers only: what would your nemesis say about you?”
- “Serious question. At what point in the date is it appropriate to confess embarrassing facts about ourselves?”
Playful Judgement Games
1. “I’m going to judge you now: what’s your most basic opinion?”
(If she says ‘I like Aperol spritzes’ — say: ‘God, you’re brave to admit that in public.’)
2. “What’s something people assume about you that’s completely wrong?”
(Lets you offer a slightly surprising compliment after she answers.)
Understated Compliments Disguised as Questions
- “Are you one of those people who casually destroys people at Trivial Pursuit without remorse?”
- “You strike me as someone who definitely has a party trick. Is it charming… or dangerous?”
The Reverse Interview
- “Alright. You’re now in charge of this date. You get three questions to figure out if I’m worth a second one.”
- “Go on, what’s one thing you actually do want to know about me but are too polite to ask?”
Playful version of: “What do you do?”
“What do you do for work? Or rather, what’s your cover story?”
“What do you do?” If she gives standard answer
“Oh so you’re one of the functioning adults then. That’s terrifying. But then on a scale of 1 to Elon Musk, how chaotic is your daily schedule?”
Playful version of “Where are you from?”
“Where’s home for you, when you’re not dazzling people in bars?”
“Where are you from?” follow-ups
- “Do you consider yourself more of a city person or a countryside person?”
- “If I got dropped there with no phone signal and no map, what’s the one thing I absolutely need to know to survive?”
“Do you have any siblings?” If she says MIDDLE CHILD
- “So you grew up perfecting the art of being overlooked - it explains the mysterious charm”
- “So are you the peacemaker of the family, or the forgotten one? Or should I flip a coin?”
Noticing accessories or distinctive jewellery
“Sentimental or stylish?, or a bit of both?”
When the conversation hits a lull and you want to gently deepen it
What’s something you care about more than most people do?
You’re talking about childhood or nostalgia, and want to pivot into a meaningful moment
When you were little, what did you think being a grown-up would be like?
They mention friends or social life, and you want to peek beneath the surface
What’s something people often get wrong about you when they first meet you?
You want to steer away from small talk into reflective but light conversation
What’s something you wish more people asked you about?
Pivoting - teasing
“I feel like I just unlocked Level 3 of You. What happens at Level 5 — do I meet the boss version?”
Pivoting - warm reset
“Thank you for sharing that — seriously. You’re very good at answering properly. And now I’m going to do the only reasonable thing in response and change the subject entirely. What’s your most unpopular food opinion?”
