How to be persuasive Flashcards
What are the basics of persuasion?
Persuasion is not Manipulation
Persuade the Persuadable
Context and Timing
. You have to be Interested to be Persuaded
What does it mean by persuasion is not manipulation?
Manipulation is coercion through force to get someone to do something that is not in their own interest. Persuasion is the art of getting people to do things that are in their own best interest that also benefit you.
Why is context and timing important in persuasion?
The basics building blocks of persuasion are context and timing. Context creates a relative standard of what’s acceptable. For example the Stanford Prisoner Experiment proved that overachieving students could be molded into dictatorial prison guards. Timing dictates what we want from others and life. We chose to marry a different type of person than we date when we’re younger, because what we want changes.
Why do you have to be Interested to be Persuaded?
You can never persuade somebody who’s not interested in what you’re saying. We are all most interested in ourselves, and spend most of our time thinking about either money, love or health. The first art of persuasion is learning how to consistently talk to people about them; if you do that then you’ll always have their captive attention.
What are the general rules of persuasion?
Reciprocity Compels
Persistence Pays
Compliment Sincerely
Set Expectations
Don’t Assume
Create Scarcity
Create Urgency
Images Matter
Truth-Tell
Build Rapport
how does reciprocity compel?
By providing small gestures of consideration to others, you can ask for more back in return which others will happily provide.
What does persistance pays mean?
The person who is willing to keep asking for what they want, and keeps demonstrating value, is ultimately the most persuasive.
Why complement sincerly?
We are all so positively affected by compliments, and we’re more apt to trust people for whom we have good feelings.
What is meant by set expectations?
Much of persuasion is managing other’s expectations to trust in your judgment. Persuasion is simply about understanding and over-delivering on other’s expectations.
Why shouldn’t you assume?
Don’t ever assume what someone needs, always offer your value. In sales we’ll often hold back from offering our products/services because we assume others don’t have the money or interest. Don’t assume what others might want or not want, offer what you can provide and leave the choice to them.
What is meant by create scarcity?
If you want somebody to want what you have, you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself.
Why create urgency?
You have to be able to instill a sense of urgency in people to want to act right away. If we’re not motivated enough to want something right now, it’s unlikely we’ll find that motivation in the future. We have to persuade people in the present, and urgency is our most valuable card to play.
How to make images matter?
Master the ability to paint an image for others, in their minds eye, of a future experience you can provide for them.
How does telling the truth persuade?
Sometimes the most effective way to persuade somebody, is by telling them the things about themselves that nobody else is willing to say. Facing the hard truths are the most piercing, meaningful events that happen in our lives. Truth-tell without judgement or agenda, and you’ll often find others’ responses quite surprising.
Why build rapport?
We like people who we are like. This extends beyond our conscious decisions to our unconscious behaviors. By Mirroring and Matching others habitual behaviors (body language, cadence, language patterns, etc.) you can build a sense of rapport where people feel more comfortable with you and become more open to your suggestions.
What are the personal skills of persuasion?
Behavioral Flexibility
Learn to Transfer Energy
Communicating Clearly is Key
Being Prepared Gives you the Advantage
Detach and Stay Calm in Conflict
Use Anger Purposefully
Confidence and Certainty
Why is behavioral flexibilty needed in persuasion?
It’s the person with the most flexibility, not necessarily the most power, who’s in control. Children are often so persuasive because they’re wiling to go through a litany of behaviors to get what they want (pouting, crying, bargaining, pleading, charming), while parents are stuck with the single response of “No.” The larger your repertoire of behaviors, the more persuasive you’ll be.
How and why to transfer energy for persuasion?
Some people drain us of our energy, while others infuse us with it. The most persuasive people know how to transfer their energy to others, to motivate and invigorate them. Sometimes it’s as straightforward as eye contact, physical touch, laughter, excitement in verbal responses, or even just active listening.
Why is Communicating Clearly Key?
If you can’t explain your concept or point of view to an 8th grader, such that they could explain it with sufficient clarity to another adult, it’s too complicated. The art of persuasion lies in simplifying something down to its core, and communicating to others what they really care about.
Why Being Prepared Gives you the Advantage?
Your starting point should always be to know more about the people and situations around you. Meticulous preparation allows for effective persuasion. For example, you dramatically improve your odds in a job interview being completely versed in the company’s products, services, and background.
Why Detach and Stay Calm in Conflict?
Nobody is more effective when they are “On Tilt.” In situations of heightened emotion, you’ll always have the most leverage by staying calm, detached and unemotional. In conflict, people turn to those in control of their emotions, and trust them in those moments to lead them.
Why use anger purposefully?
Most people are uncomfortable with conflict. If you’re willing escalate a situation to a heightened level of tension and conflict, in many cases others will back down. Use this sparingly, and don’t do it from an emotional place or due to a loss of self control. But do remember, you can use anger purposefully for your advantage.
Why is Confidence and Certainty important?
There is no quality as compelling, intoxicating and attractive as certainty. It is the person who has an unbridled sense of certainty that will always be able to persuade others. If you really believe in what you do, you will always be able to persuade others to do what’s right for them, while getting what you want in return.
