Friendship and Love Flashcards
what are important aspects of friendship?
the speed, amount and level of disclosure are v important aspects
social penetration theory
dissolution of friendships caused by?
cross cultures
provides explanation for why and how friendships develop (focuses on self disclosure)
-at first exchange superficial info, then more personal
more self disclosure = more intimacy
developing friendships = guided by a norm of self-disclosure reciprocity
self disclosure= central to dissolution of friendships too(known as depenetration)
social penetration doesn’t occur in all relationships, some people v close from beginning
cross cultures - individualistic disclose more in a wider variety of settings
Gender differences in:
intimacy
physical contact
1) intimacy - women more intimate and emotional, have face-to-face relationships that involve sharing personal issues (men have side-to-side involving shared work)
women self-disclose more to same sex friends
men in western societies restricted by social norms which say they shouldn’t act vulnerable
men avoid self-disclosure to avoid negative evaluation
2)physical contact - men have less with same-sex friends, hugging seen as inappropriate in some cultures
men more likely to interpret touching as a sexual desire
why do gender diffs exist?
-men are socialised to conform to a norm of heterosexual masculinity = valuing masculine traits eg. power and control
(homosexual traits avoided eg. emotional expression, self disclosure and physical contact)
Typology of love - Lee 1977
eros, ludus, storge
pragma, mania, agape
define love
Primary love: eros - passionate love ludus - game-playing love storge - friendship love Secondary love: pragma - pragmatic love (storge and ludus) mania - possessive love (eros and ludus) agape - altruistic love (eros and storge)
love = trusting and being excited by another
Development of cultural knowledge about love
looked at 11-14 yr olds
4 key norms foundq
Moderation in love
suppression of feelings towards attached others
monogamy
continuous love
Sternberg’s triangular theory: love can be classified by degree of: passion, intimacy and commitment
2 types:
3 components must be met for 1st type (hatsfield and walter)
zilman - excitation transfer
1) passionate love = intense longing for another (v intense emotions) - changes to brain chem = increase in dopamine which increases arousal, also increased activity in caudate nucleus
3 conditions = individual understands love, meet someone who fits expectation, physiologically aroused when around other
when we’re physiologically aroused we attribute this to external cues. wrongly attributing the arousal = excitation transfer
2)companionate love = replaces passionate love, can be applied to friends as well. early stages = sexual mating, later stages = emotional bond more important
Relationship satisfaction and commitment most important factors? 1)social exchange and equity social exchange theory? equity theory? 2)intimacy 3)perceived concealment 4) interpretation 5) social comparison 6)social network 7) attachment
1) what each partner contributes and it it’s perceived as equal, people place importance on either material or non-material goods
- SEtheory - on some level people keep track of goods exchanged+ make judgement on if its balanced(cost-benefit analysis)
- Equity theory - focuses on expectation of exchange and perceived equality or inequality (degree of inequity and direction of it can have consequences)
2) Reis and patrick - relationships are caring, understanding and involve validation
3) degree to which couple keeps secrets, disclosing info shows intimacy and closeness
4) the way we interpret our partners characteristics and behaviours differs if we’re in a happy or sad relationship – happy= blame self sad= blame other, and see problems as global and stable
5) happy= compare relationship to others and feel better about own, unhappy = envious
6) greater satisfaction when partners friends are ours to
7) emotional bond between child and caregiver
Attachment theory?
bowlby?
Ainsworth - 3 types of attachment
Bartholomew 2 dimensions?
childhood bond affect adulthood?
bowlby - genetic predisposition to form attachment
Ainsworth - nature of relationship with caregiver can lead to 3 attachment types:
1 -secure= caregiver responds sensitively
2 - insecure avoidant = insensitive to needs and inconsitent responses
3 - anxious/ambivalent - lack of interest from caregiver]
secure = most socially competent + higher SE
–> adult attachment has been found to be similar to those held by children
Bartholomew 2 dimensions: 1= attachment-avoidance - discomfort with intimacy and dependency (behaviours= try to maintain distance with others, tend to be less involved and engaged and support-seeking in relationships)
2 - attachment-anxiety - fear of separation and abandonment (behaviours = seek support and acceptance and closeness in response to fear of rejection
people can be high or low in both dimensions = 4 possible attachment types:
1)secure 2)preoccupied 3)dismissive-avoidant 4)fearful-avoidant
BOTH high avoidance= negative interpersonal relations
anxiously = greater relationship conflict perceived, less satisfaction and closeness
Interdependence theory
Rusbult and Van Lange suggest -
to understand nature of relationship = need to consider the effect of situational factors on both 1)individual factors(eg.attachment) 2)interpersonal processes(eg. how partners interact)
Determinants of a lasting relationship: The investment model Adam and jones 3 factors consequences of commitment breakdown of relationship
The i model - commitment dependent on 3 factors:
high satisfaction, investment size, low perceived quality of alternatives
(mimicry = unconscious but serves important social function, it increases chance of successful interaction)
Adam and Jones 3:
personal dedication, moral commitment/ obligation, constraint commitment(factors making it costly to leave)
consequences of comm: highly commited= more likely to make sacrifice
deterioration of relationship: + or - response, to save = react with loyalty + voice behaviour.. get out= react with neglect and exit behaviour (active)
Relationship dissolution model:
4 stages
intrapsychic phase - think about source of problem, cost-benefit analysis
dyadic phase - couple discuss situation - negotiation
social phase - turn to others for social support
grave dressing - division of belongings
28days - anger dissipates
1month + - sadness slowly declines
3 factors of how badly someone is affected by break-up:
attachment style - secure or fearful-avoidant =fastest decline in sadness
partner-initiated break-up = more suffering due to lack of control and unexpectedness and cog. disorganisation
rejection sensitivity - degree to which people anxiously expect rejection
