Friendship and Love Flashcards
What is a friendship?
A close relationship that may involve intimacy, trust, acceptance, mutual liking and understanding
Social penetration theory
- Altman & Taylor (1973)
- Relationships develop closeness in an orderly fashion, like peeling through the layers of an onion
- Closeness comes by self-disclosure
Self-disclosure
- Voluntarily sharing information about yourself to another person
- Superficial information comes before personal information
Depenetration
When a person emotionally withdraws from a relationship by reducing the quantity and intimacy of the information they disclose
Criticisms of social penetration theory
- Some friends click straight away, and immediately begin disclosing highly intimate information
- Cultural differences - individualistic cultures typically disclose more than collectivist cultures
- Doesn’t account for gender differences
Gender differences in friendships
Differences in intimacy
Differences in amount of physical contact
Dindia & Allen (1992)
- Meta-analysis of 205 studies on gender differences
- Women disclose more than men in same-sex friends
- No difference in disclosure to male friends
- Perhaps men in Western societies are restricted by cultural norms to not act in a vulnerable manner
Derlega & Chaiken (1976)
- Participants read stories about a man or woman upset on a plane, who when asked by a passenger if they were ok either concealed the real problem or disclosed the problem
- Participants rated the character for how psychologically well-adjusted they were
- Male was seen as better adjusted if he didn’t disclose, whereas female was vice versa
Gender and physical contact
Men engage in less physical contact with same-sex friends than women
Explanation for gender differences
- Men are socialised to conform to a norm of heterosexual masculinity
- Masculine traits such as power and control are valued, feminine traits such as tenderness and vulnerability are devalued
- Men are particularly likely to conform to this norm in the company of other men
- Men avoid acting in ways that might indicate homosexuality by avoiding emotional expression, self-disclosure and physical contact in same-sex friendships
Romantic relationships
The most developed and intense type of interpersonal relationship
John Lee’s colours of love (1977)
- Eros - loving an ideal person passionately (red)
- Mania - obsessive love (purple) (passionate + game)
- Ludos - love as a game (blue)
- Pragma - realistic and practical love (green) (game + friendship)
- Storge - love as friendship (yellow)
- Agape - selfless love (orange) (passionate + friendship)
Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
- Passion - sexual desire and physical attraction
- Intimacy - connection and feelings of closeness
- Commitment - to love in the short term; to maintain that love in the long term
Passionate love
- A state of intense longing and desire for another person, involving very intense emotions
- Early stages of relationship
- Relatively short-lived
- Neurophysiological and psychological arousal
Three factor theory of (passionate) love
- Hatfield and Walster (1981)
- Meeting a suitable partner
- Attributing physiological arousal to the presence of the potential partner
- Understanding and accepting the concept of love
Dutton & Aron (1974)
Arousal from the swaying bridge was misattributed to the female assistant rather than the correct source
Aron et al (1997)
- 36 questions to make you fall in love
- 3 sets, increasing in intimacy
Companionate love
- Based on friendly affection and deep attachment due to extensive familiarity
- More enduring than passionate love
Factors for relationship satisfaction
- Social exchange and equity
- Interpretation
- Social comparison
- Social networks
- Attachment
- Interdependence theory
Social exchange theory
- We weigh the costs of the relationship against the benefits of the relationships
- People try to maximise the benefits and minimise the costs
- Relationship = satisfying when benefits outweigh the costs
Equity theory
- People expect an equal exchange in terms of love, emotional, and financial support
- People may feel guilty if they receive more from a relationship than they give or resentful if the other way round
- People who receive their relationship as equal were more satisfied
Interpretation (attribution)
- People in happy and unhappy relationships interpret their partner’s behaviour differently
- Happy - people blame problems on themselves
- Unhappy - people blame problems on their partner (maladaptive attribution)
Social comparison
Happy couples feel better about their own relationship when comparing against others, related with relationship satisfaction
Social networks
Couples are more satisfied when their networks are integrated
