Final Exam Flashcards
What was Carolyn’s Story
- Her relationship with her five year old daughter was suffering (primary issue)
- Her work performance was down
- Relationships were suffering (friends, babysitter)
- Carrying an emotional burden: nightmares about past sexual abuse by deceased uncle
- Sad, depressed, withdrawn
- Carolyn had presented a view of herself as a victim of her family as abusive; work and memories of uncle helped her to externalize the problem
- “As terrible as the feelings are that come from such memories, God encourages us not to lean on our won understanding of our memories of the pat, or even of our present or future concerns”
- Gave resources for future use (When Trust Is Lost; name/number of Celebrate Recovery ministry leaders)
- Gave friends active role in observing changes
Can clergy be sued for malpractice?
No, because no licensure or certification
Why have many churches dropped their counseling services?
Fear of being sued
What was the case that was a family against a church?
• Nally vs. Grace Community Church of the Valley
Details of the Nally case..
• No such things as clergy malpractice because no licensure or certification
• Many churches around the nation dropped their counseling ministries, reasoning that the risk of lawsuits is too great
• Nally vs. Grace Community Church of the Valley: Kenneth Nally committed suicide (4/79)
- Born and raised a Roman Catholic
- His conversion to evangelicalism became a source of friction between him and his family
- Seeking secular psychologist to discuss problems he was having with a girlfriend (75)
- Began a discipling relationship with pastor at Grace, meeting with the pastor 5x before losing interest (78)
- Became involved with another girlfriend that would end 12/78
o Became despondent after breakup
- Ken’s mom arranged for him to see Dr. Milestone, a general practitioner, who prescribed Elavil to relieve his depression
- Later the same month, Ken saw another physician who suggested he undergo a full physical examination
- Neither physician recommended that he see a psychiatrist
- Ken went to drop-in counseling at Grace
o Marital tensions between his parents
o Problems with new girlfriend
- Ken attempted suicide by taking overdose of the Elavil (3/79)
- Dr. Hall, staff psychiatrist, examined and recommended that Ken be committed to psychiatric hospital
- Ken refused and was discharged
- Ken stayed with Pastor MacArthur because he did not want to go home
o Encouraged him to keep appointments with Dr. Hall
o Arranged for Ken to be examined by Dr. Parker (physician and church deacon)
Recommended that Ken commit himself for psychiatric treatment
Ken refused
Dr. Parker spoke to parents about involuntary commitment, but parents rejected
- Ken moved back home (last week of his life)
o Examined separately by 2 more physicians who agreed he needed further physical and psychiatric evaluation
o Saw a psychologist and a registered psychologist’s assistant
o Found dead in a friend’s apartment, the victim of a self-inflicted gunshot wound
Clergy should be free from…
state imposed counseling standards
What are the positives and negatives about churches not being about to be sued for malpractice?
Positives: protects Christians who are competent to counsel
Negatives: it leaves counseling unregulated to the extent that there will be Christians who are not competent to counsel and acting without accountability to a local church or legitimate counseling agency
Grief is ______________
an internal experience
Mourning is ______________
and external response of grief
Goals of the grief process
(1) Purpose and (2) Identity
What is the definition of grief?
• Grief like stress is an enforced change that effects our lives (attitudes, thoughts, behaviors)
What causes grief
loss of someone you cared for
Grief is an indicator of:
Stress
What are the “Do’s” of a caregiver?
- Say I’m sorry
- Words aren’t always necessary
- Give permission to grieve
- Listen non-judgmentally
- Allow them to talk about loved one
- Ask open-ended questions
- Tell them you’ll remember them in your thought and prayers
- Offer practical assistance
- Share pleasant memory
- Never underestimate your role as a caregiver (you are part of the support system)
- Extend condolences to the forgotten mourners
- Remember nothing you say will stop the grieving person’s pain
Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief
1) Shock/Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
Klinger’s 5 stages of grief
1) Invigoration
2) Primitivization
3) Aggression
4) Depression
5) Recovery
What should you do when someone is grieving?
- Allow your friend to talk
- You should be more occupied with comforting than with counseling
- Accept the mood swings your friends may have
- Help your friend focus on Jesus Christ who is our hope
- Allow your friend to establish their own pattern of grieving
- Try to identify times of the day that are especially hard for your friend
- Go beyond saying “if there is anything I can do, give me a call”
- Help out with obligations they may have
- If children involved, be available to do anything for them that you would for your friend
- We all desire to keep our friends from additional hurt
What is the The Grieving Person’s Bill of Rights?
- You have the right to experience your own unique grief
- You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions
- You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits
- You have the right to experience grief “attacks”
- You have the right to make use of ritual
- You have the right to embrace your spirituality
- You have the right to search for meaning
- You have the right to treasure your memories
- You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
SMART HUMM
For an officer, Pre-marital counseling is a _____ and a _____
• Responsibility/opportunity as an officer
What is a common “invitation” to pre-marital counseling?
we want to get married
What is the minimum # of PMC sessions you should do?
3-4
What are the foundations of marriage?
(1) Trust and (2) Love
What topics should you cover in PMC?
- Good communication
- Children
- Previous relationships, especially is re-marrying (custody, living and visiting rights)
- Power to make decisions (who wears the pants?)
- Control purse strings
What are some questions of active listening?
- Conflict resolutions handled how?
- Spiritual beliefs equal?
- Sexual relationship and expectations discussed for each?
- Past histories clear with one another?
What is the recommended abstinence time for couples co-habitating before marriage?
2 weeks to one month
Activities to do during PMC
• Sit for 5 minutes, facing each other
o Observe couple dynamics throughout meetings
Power differenitals
Communication styles
Positioning (near/far; side/across)
Expressions of love (touch, face, words)
• Read Biblical passages (1 Cor. 13, Eph. 5, Rom. 8, 9)
• Budget
9 guiding assumptions
God Complex Exceptions Changing Expert Co-created Problem Positional Broke
Listen:
Feeling heard: hear affect Show fit (empathy - match emotion) Encouragement feedback (Give encouragement to keep talking) look for clues (hypotesize) wait for invitation
Question:
Recent changes
Self-interest (Counselee’s goals: what do you want?)
Externalize (shift focus from individual to problem)
Manage (how the counselee keeps the situation from getting worse)
Future Focus (represents a possible solution
Clarify
Describe goals (attainable, measuring goals)
Specify, objectivify
Steps formulated (co-created)
Scaling (how much wanted, confidence)
Feedback
Re-present intial conversation Exceptions to concerns Support the exceptions Qualify the exceptions Co-Create solutions Educate Homework progress
