Feeling good together David D. Burns Flashcards
EAR
empathize, assertive, respect
techniques
if DTCR st in te FE
DT disarming technique
agree to something the person says, using love, humility.
You find truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems illogical, self-serving, distorted, or just plain “wrong.”
E(FE) feeling empathy
You summarize what the other person just said (Thought Empathy) and acknowledge how he or she is probably feeling, given what he or she just said (Feeling Empathy).
acknowledge how the person feels. wouldn’t surprise me if you’re feeling mad.
E(te) thought empathy
repeat and summarize the person’s statement
st stroke adulation
you’re absolutely right
openly adoring admiring
in inquiry
Use gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. wouldn’t you agree? can you tell me of something I’ve done to make you feel this way?
if
‘I feel’ statements
CR
convey respect
A
Assertiveness
“I Feel” Statements: You express your own feelings and ideas openly according to the formula, “I’m feeling X, Y, and Z right now,” where are X, Y and Z refer to any of a wide variety of feeling words, such as anxious, attacked, hurt, or sad.
E
Empathy
R
Respect and kindness
Affirmation (formerly called Stroking): You convey warmth, caring and respect, even in the heat of battle
behavior response strategies
-criticism: disarming technique
-narzicism: stroking
-complaining FE
-PR positive reframing of offensive aggressive hostilities to convert into allies
-person shuts down: use MCE
MCE
multiple choice empathy. how to talk to someone how refuses to talk. it seems like you might be feeling hurt, angry…are any of those true? he:nothing. Are they ashamed, worried of being attacked, angry? use the analysis outcome to phrase the MCE questions. Solution: acknowledge that he has every darn reason not to answer and to distrust me because I have proven him to be unreliable. I feel that I have not done a very good job in the past to prove to you that you can trust me. this will open him up. what if? he still does not open up and gossips around that I admit being unreliable.