Family Studies ch 16: Remarriages and Stepfamilies Flashcards
Cohabitation after a Divorce
Half of all remarriages begin with cohabitation.
Not all courtship ends in remarriage.
Forming a step family
What is a stepfamily?
a stepfamily is a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or cohabitate.
How common are remarriage and stepfamilies?
The U.S. remarriage rate is the highest in the world.
Nearly 85% of Americans who divorce remarry.
Characteristicsof Remarried Couples
U.S. is 33 for women and 35 for men.
Remarriage rates are higher for both sexes age 50 and older, but higher for men.
Older women, especially those who seek to remarry, may be attracted to older men because neither partner has children at home to cause conflict.
available pool diminishes for women as they age.
Overall whites have the highest remarriage rates. Remarriage rates vary by sex, race, age and marital status
In general, the wealthier a divorced man is, the more likely he is to remarry.
Men in the marriage market tend to be financially better off than women, so they are able to attract new partners.
Men with higher educational attainment are more likely to remarry than are women with a similar education.
Women who have a higher socioeconomic level may not be willing to remarry because they have less to gain from it, however, they may have a larger pool of candidates from which to choose.Presence of Children does affect parents’ decision to remarry.
Young children may encourage dating
Remarriage as a Process
Emotional Physic Community Parental Economic Legal
How First Marriagesand Remarriages Differ
Family Composition
Role Expectations
Changes across the Life Course
Stress and Resources
? about the remarried couple’s financial responsibilities toward aging parents.
Remarriage also increases resources. Children have more adults who care about them, may experience less conflict between biological parents, and have new stepgrandparents.
Children may not want to be part of a new family!
Couple Dynamicsin Stepfamilies
Myths about Remarriage
The Nuclear Family Myth—believers of this fantasy expect family members to love and feel close to one another and children to be well-behaved.
The Compensation Myth—the new mate is expected to be everything the problematic old mate wasn’t.
The Instant Love Myth—new stepparents may presume an intimacy with stepchildren that just isn’t there, especially at first.
- The Rescue Fantasy—stepparents think they will “shape those kids up” from the original neglectful or lenient noncustodial parent.
Remarriage Satisfaction
The data on remarriage satisfaction are mixed. People in first marriages report greater satisfaction than do remarried spouses, but the differences are small.
For the first few years of remarriage, stress can come from all the new complex relationships and roles that the new couple must play.
About 60% of remarriages, compared with 45% of first marriages, end in divorce.
People most likely to redivorce may see divorce as a quick solution to an unsatisfying marriage.
Types of Stepfamilies
Three basic types of stepfamilies—
1. Mother-stepfather family—all the children are the biological children of the mother and stepchildren of the father.
2. Father-stepmother family—all of the children are the biological children of the father and the stepchildren of the mother.
3. Joint stepfamily—a least one child is the biological child of both parents, at least one child is the biological child of only one parent and a stepchild of the other parent, and there are no other children present.In a complex stepfamily, both adults have children from previous marriages. In a joint step-adoptive family and a joint biological-step-adoptive family, at least one child is the biological child of one parent and a stepchild of the other parent, and one or both parents have adopted at least one child.
Gay and Lesbian Stepfamilies
They may encounter triple stigmatization, first, because they are gay or lesbian; second, because gay and lesbian families are looked at as deficient compared to nuclear families in our society; and third, because some in the gay and lesbian communities themselves stress the primacy of the couple relationship, not parenting.
Some Characteristics of Stepfamilies
Stepfamilies often experience more stress and conflict than nuclear families.
Stepfamily integration typically takes years rather than months.
Important relationships may be cut off or end abruptly and others may spring up overnight.
There are continuous transitions and adjustments rather than stability.
Stepfamilies are less cohesive than nuclear or single-parent households.
Stepfamilies need great flexibility in their everyday behavior.
Stepfamily members often have unrealistic expectations.
There is no shared family history.
There may be many loyalty conflicts.
Stepfamily roles are often ambiguous.
Stereotypes about Stepfamilies
The “evil stepmother” stereotype still abounds in our society.
the myth of “instant love” maintains not only that remarriage creates an instant family, but that stepmothers and stepfathers will automatically love their stepchildren.
Parenting in Stepfamilies
About 17% of American children live in a stepfamily.
ISSUES include naming, sexual boundaries, legal issues, distributing economic and emotional resources, developing the stepchild-stepparent relationship, establishing closeness and cohesiveness, establishing discipline, and helping children adjust to this new family form.
Intergenerational Relationships
Generally, intergenerational relationships depend on how much effort the remarried partners and step-relatives put into maintaining or forging relationships.
Some effects of stepfamilies on children
How children fare depends greatly on the relationships among children, their custodial and noncustodial parents, and stepparents.
Children benefit the most when the adults in all of the relationships get along.
Successful stepfamilies
- Develop realistic expectations.
- Let children mourn their losses.
- The adults forge a strong couple relationship.
- The step-parenting role proceeds slowly.
- When there are young children, the stepparent should take a discipline role slowly.
- Successful stepfamilies develop their own rituals.
- Work out satisfactory arrangements between the children’s households.
Rewards of Remarriageand Stepparenting
valuable lessons learned in their first marriage that they bring into their second marriage.
successful remarried couples say they try harder, are more tolerant of minor irritations, and tend to be more considerate of each other’s feelings.
