Family Development And Dynamics Flashcards
Bertalanffy’s General systems Theory: general system as any theoretical system of interest to more than one discipline
By Ludwig von Bertalanffy
Studies the structures and properties of
systems in terms of relationship, from which
new properties of wholes emerge
A system is a group of interacting elements
It consists of several individual parts that
are essential and related to one another
There is a desired outcome
GENERAL SYSTEMS THEORY
Virgina Satir, 1972 Peoplemaking consists of: 1. A purpose or goal 2. Essential parts 3. An order to the working parts 4. A means to start the system 5. Power or means of maintaining energy so the parts can work 6. Ways of dealing with changes from the environmen
OPERATING SYSTEM
KINDSOFSYSTEM
Open System
Closed System
Provides for change
Offers choices
Depends on successfully meeting reality for its continuing life
Open System
Provides for very little or no change Rigid Operates through force Most of our social system is a closed system
Closed System
- Purpose or Goal
- Essential Parts
- Order
- A Means To Start The System
- Power/Energy Source
- DealingwithEnvironmentalChange
THE FAMILY IS A SYSTEM
“to grow new people”
“to further the growth of people already
there”
- Purpose or Goal
Parents (adult male & female) Children (male & female)
Essential Parts
Birth order
Roles
Communication style
- Order
sustainance Physical - air, water, food, shelter Through education & exposure to new experiences: o Intellectual o Emotional o Social o Spiritual
- A Means To Start The System
An open & flexible attitude
6.DealingwithEnvironmentalChange
The desired outcome or product is a HEALTHY HUMAN BEING
THE FAMILY IS A “PEOPLE FACTORY”
Physically strong
Mentally alert
Real & honest to self and others o Manifests competence when the situation calls for it o Able to love deeply o Willing to take risks to be creative o Productive o Able to find ways to accommodate what is new and different
A HEALTHY HUMAN BEING
o Self-worth (feelings and ideas about oneself) is high
o Communication is direct, clear, specific and honest
o Rulesareflexibleandappropriate
o Linkage to society is open and
hopeful
Healthy human beings are products of vital or nurturing families where:
Members of a nurturing family:
o Feelitisgoodtobeathome
o Feeltheyarelikedandtrusted
o Feel that they are liked and trust in
return
Good and balanced parents are particularly skillful at and aware enough to:
o Maintainselfhood
o Keep their marriage partnership
alive
Such parents will then have:
o Enhanced ability to nurture their children to grow
o Enhanced ability to channel the pressures in the family network into creative, growth-producing directions
Factors that influence the dynamics of the family are:
o Stages of marriage
o Stages of the family life cycle o Roles o Patternsofcommunication o Roles and patterns of communication always occur in pair
ADULTS AND PARENTS ARE THE “PEOPLE MAKERS”
STAGES OF MARRIAGE
HONEYMOON PERIOD (0-2 years) MIDDLE MARRIAGE (10-25 years) LONG-TERM MARRIAGE (25+ years)
Emotional issues: Commitment to the marriage
Stage-critical tasks:
- Differentiation from family of origin
- Making room for spouse with family & friends
- Adjusting career demands
HONEYMOON PERIOD (0-2 years)
Emotional issues: Post-career planning
Stage critical tasks:
- Adjusting to mid-life changes
- Renegotiating relationship
- Renewing marriage commitment
MIDDLE MARRIAGE (10-25 years)
Emotional issues: Review & farewells Stage critical tasks: - Maintaining couple functioning - Closing or adapting family home - Coping with death of spouse
LONG-TERM MARRIAGE (25+ years)
STAGES OF THE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Unattached adult Newly married Childbearing Preschool age child School-age Teenage child Launching Center Middle-aged adult Retirement
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
Unattached adult
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
Newly married
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
Childbearing
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
Preschool age child
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
School-age
Emotional issues:
Stage critical tasks:
Teenage child
Emotional issues: Accepting exits from & entries into the family
Stage critical tasks:
- Releasing adult children into work
- Maintaining supportive home base
- Accepting occasional returns of adult children
Launching Center
Emotional issues: Letting go of children & facing each other
Stage critical tasks:
- Rebuilding the marriage
- Welcoming children’s spouses, grandchildren into the family -Dealing with aging of one’s own parents
“sandwich generation”
Middle-aged adult
Emotional issues: Accepting retirement & old age
Stage critical tasks:
- Maintaining individual & couple functioning
- Supporting middle generation Coping with death of parents, spouse
- Closing or adapting family home
Retirement
SIX STAGES OF PARENTHOOD
- Elle Galinsky (1987)
- THE IMAGE-MAKING STAGE
- THE NURTURING STAGE
- THE AUTHORITY STAGE
- THE INTERPRETIVE STAGE
- THE INTERDEPENDENT STAGE
- THE DEPARTURE STAGE
a. Accepting the pregnancy
b. Preparing the Parenthood
c. Preparing for the Birth
- THE IMAGE-MAKING STAGE
a. Reconciling one’s images of birth with
reality.
Bonding – concerns the mother’s feelings
towards her infant; promoted thru skin to skin contact
b. Facing the feelings of attachment
Attachment – shown by an infant’s seeking & clinging behavior to the mother designed
to promote proximity
c. Redefining relationships in the early years
- THE NURTURING STAGE
a. Developing authority
Establishing & enforcing limits
Avoiding battles of will
b. Gaining distance
Separations & Reunions
Push/Pull feelings
c. Dealing with sex roles & identity
Oedipal relationship
Child’s emerging identity
- THE AUTHORITY STAGE - how and what rules to set
*School is the trigger; evaluations,
anticipations, and comparisons.
Interpreting oneself as a parent Comparing children to other children Separating and connecting Interpreting the world to the children Deciding how to be involved Anticipating the teen-age years
- THE INTERPRETIVE STAGE - evaluate path and prepare for changes
*sometimes images don’t hold up; moments of pride, moments of pain, things I hate in child
a. Adapting to new authority relationship
Less parental control
Youth VS Mid-life
b. Dealing with Sexuality
The beginning VS the closing of the
reproductive cycle
c. Accepting the teenager’s identity
d. Forming new bond with the almost-grown child
Idealism vs Realism
Separation bring feelings of envy, stir up,
fears, creates hostilities, pride, & regret
- THE INTERDEPENDENT STAGE
A. Preparing for the departure
Anticipating an ending
Recalling beginnings
Fantasizing about grandchildren
B. Adapting to the departure
Redefinition of identity
Re-examining other important relationships
C. Changing images
Parenthood is over
Grown-up child is settled
Unfulfilled images
D. Loosening control
E. Taking stock of successes and failures
Altered images
Daydreams of reunions
- THE DEPARTURE STAGE - this is where parenthood ends
MARITAL (husband-wife)
PARENTAL-FILIAL
PARENTAL-FILIAL
SIBLING
BIRTH ORDER
ROLES AND PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION
o father-daughter
o mother-daughter
o father-son
o mother-son
PARENTAL-FILIAL
o sister-sister
o brother-brother
o brother-sister
SIBLING
o Eldest child o Often more highly valued than subsequent children, especially if male; o Higher IQ vs. younger children o More achievement oriented; o conservative & conformist o Middle child o Parents now have more experience o Learn from older sibling o Firstborn may resent birth of next child o Stronger peer relationships o Youngest child o May receive too much attention & be spoiled o More independent & rebellious
BIRTH ORDER
Each role has different expectations
Such expectations may differ between two
members of a pair
Often, each person assumes different roles
or “wears different hats” and constantly puts on and takes off hats through the day
ROLES
Sharing ideas and communicating feelings for better understanding and smooth relationships
COMMUNICATION
Five Languages of Love - Gary Chapman
o Physical Touch o Words of affirmation o QualityTime o Gifts o ActsofService
Five Languages of Apology - Gary Chapman
o Expressing Regret (“I’am sorry”)
o Accepting Responsibility ( “I was wrong” )
o Making Restitution ( “What can I do make it right” )
o Genuinely Repenting ( “I will try not do it again” )
o Requesting Forgiveness ( “Please forgive me” )
Seven levels of intimacy - Matthew Kelly
o Cliches : Casual interactions that reveal little about you.
o Facts: Mundane, self-evident, safe
o Opinions: Tend to differ & can lead to controversy
o Hopes & Dreams: Reveal the hidden self & deepest desires
o Feelings: Coming face to face with the fear of rejection
o Faults, Fears, Failures: Expose ourselves; emotional equivalent of
nakedness
o Legitimate Needs: Quest to know & be known by the other; Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual
o Only 2 people can communicate at one time and someone in the triangle is always left out
o The degree of trouble caused by a particular triangle will depend on:
- who is the odd man out at the
- whether or not the person feels bad about being left out
o It is difficult to achieve the ideal conditions to produce the perfect, flawless, and healthy human being
o Families fall in a continuum from very troubled to very nurturing.
Triangulation (Satir,1972)
FIVE ASPECTS OF FAMILY LIFE THAT USUALLY CROP UP IN TROUBLED FAMILIES
To relieve the family from pain, some way to change anyone or all of these five aspects have to be found
- Self- worth of one or more members is low
- Communication skills (talking and listening) is impaired
- Communication is indirect, vague and short of being honest
- Rules are rigid, non- negotiable, and everlasting
- Link to society is fearful, placating, or blaming
Patterns of response people use to get around the threat of rejection (defenses):
o Placate so the other person doesn’t get mad (surrender)
o Blame so the other person will regard you as strong
o Compute by establishing your self- worth through the use of big words
o Distract by behaving as though the threat is not there (try to change the topic) OF
o Children receive conflicting
messages from each parent regarding their behavior, attitudes, and feelings
o Children then withdraw to escape the confusion
o Common among individuals with schizophrenia
DOUBLE BIND (George Bateson)
o There is a prominent schism between the parents, and one parent gets really close to a child of the opposite sex
o A skewed relationship with one parent involves a power struggle between the parents, and the resulting dominance of one parent
SCHISMS AND SKEWED FAMILIES (Theodore Lidz)
-
PSEUDOMUTUALITY AND PSEUDOHOSTILITY (Lyman Wynne)
The shared dread & avoidance of intra-familial conflict that generates a façade of harmony; passive about conflict
PSEUDOMUTUALITY
The fear of intimacy & closeness that leads to persistent bickering without genuine separation
PSEUDOHOSTILITY
