Excessive Responsibility & Standards Flashcards
SELF-SACRIFICE (SS)
Excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations, at the expense of one’s own gratification.
The most common reasons are: to prevent causing pain to others; to avoid guilt from feeling selfish; or to maintain the connection with others perceived as needy . Often results from high standards related to over-responsibility to others, regardless of the cost to oneself. Often results from an acute sensitivity to the pain of others, or from an implicit belief that taking care of others is morally and ethically more important than self-care. Sometimes leads to a sense that one’s own needs are not being adequately met and to resentment of those who are taken care of. (Overlaps with the concept of codependency.)
UNRELENTING STANDARDS / HYPERCRITICALNESS (US)
The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down and in hyper-criticalness toward oneself and others. Must involve significant impairment in pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or satisfying relationships. Unrelenting standards typically present as:
a) Perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one’s own performance is relative to the norm;
b) Rigid rules and “shoulds” in many areas of life, including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts;
c) Preoccupation with time and efficiency, the need to accomplish more.
PUNITIVENESS TOWARD SELF (PU-S)
Self-directed hypercriticalness towards one’s own mistakes, suffering, or imperfections. Involves a belief that one should be punished or held accountable in some way for failing to meet expectations, tendency to ignore extenuating circumstances, and an excessive sense of responsibility leading to self-blame, self-directed anger, and difficulty forgiving oneself.
PUNITIVENESS TOWARD OTHER (PU-O)
Hypercriticalness towards others’ mistakes, suffering, or imperfections. Involves a belief that others should be punished or held accountable for their indiscretions, a tendency to ignore extenuating circumstances and naturally human error, and a preoccupation with concepts of justice. There is often anger, impatience, and intolerance toward others and difficulties with empathizing and forgiveness. This harsh externalized process may alienate the individual from relationships with others.
