Exam Textbook Flashcards
Historically, was a marriage based on love?
no
What are the 4 dimensions on which love has varied through time?
Clutural value: is love a desireable or undesirable state?
Sexuality: should love be sexual?
Sexual Orientation: Should love involved heterosexual or same-sex partners?
Marital Status: should we love our spouses, or is love reserved for others?
Why is it that the idea of marrying for love is strongest in North America?
Individualism Economic prosperity (allowing young adults to live by themselves) Lack of a ruling class or caste system
Sternberg’s 3 building blocks for love
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Commitment
Sternberg’s Intimacy =
Feelings of warmth, understanding, trust, support and sharing that often characterizes loving relationships
Sternberg’s Passion =
Physical arousal and desire, excitements and need.
|»_space;Often take the form of sexual longing, but it can be any strong emotional need that is satisfied by one’s partner
Sternberg’s Commitment =
Feelings of permanence, stability, and the decision to devote oneself to a relationship and work to maintain it
Commitment is mostly ______ in nature, whereas passion and intimacy are _______
Cognitive
Drives or motives
Non-love
None of passion, intimacy or commitment
Liking
High intimacy
Low passion and commitment
Infatuation
Strong passion
No intimacy or commitment
Empty love
High commitment
No intimacy or passion
Romantic love
High intimacy and passion
Companionate love
High intimacy and commitment
No passion
Fatuous love
High passion and commitment
No intimacy
Consummate love
High passion, intimacy and commitment
Which component of Sternberg’s love varies the most
passion
Parts of the brain activated by sexual desire, attachment and attraction
Sexual desire = hypothalamus
Attraction = reward (dopamine)
Attachment = oxytocin
Two-Factor theory of attraction has 2 components
1) Physiological arousal such as an increased heart rate
2) The belief that another person is the cause of your arousal
Does the type of arousal matter for increased attraction?
No, it can be positive or negative
What does research say about the phrase “Love is blind”
There is evidence for it, people underestimate or ignore their lover’s faults and hold idealized versions of them
What are 2 findings of the change in self-concept at the beginning of a new relationship
Self-concept becomes more diverse and self-esteem increases
Long lasting marriages seem to include a lot of _____ love
Companionship
More compassionate love is related to more ______
relationship satisfaction
Compassionate love is rooted in more ______ understandings of our partner’s strengths and weaknesses
Accurate
> Recognize deficiencies but love them anyway
Eros:
has a strong physical component, heavily influences by appearance
Ludus:
Lack of commitment, often multiple partners at once
Storge:
Prefers friendship that gradually grows into lasting commitments
Mania:
Demanding, possessive and excitable
Agape:
Love is altruistic and dutiful
Pragma:
Practical, careful, and logical in seeking a mate
People with a secure attachment style experience and express better:
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Commitment
- Compassionate love
What is a big difference in the way that older people related to their partners
- More cheer
- Less arousal
- Less intense emotions but overall more positive
Are men and women more similar or different when it comes to love?
More similar
Which of the three aspects of love is more highly associated with men and with women
Men are highly associated with passion
Women are more highly associated with commitment
Romantic love typically ____ after people marry
Decreases
Passion fades over time, this is associated with the decrease in what (3) of long term relationships
The fantasy, arousal, and novelty of a new relationship
Even though passion declines with time, what part of love increases
Intimacy and commitment
What is a strategy to keep the love alive in a long-term relationship
Engage in novel activities together
When are we generally accepting of pre-marital sex?
When it is in the context of a committed relationship
Do people prefer “hooking up” or being in a relationship
relationship
In terms of sex, how do men and women differ in what they regret?
Women tend to regret the things they did do
Men tend to regret the thing they didn’t do
What are 2 reasons people have less negative attitudes towards same-sex couples
- Gays and lesbians are much more visible to the public
2. We understand homosexuality much better now
What is a main factor of why people believe that we should be accepting of homosexuality vs not?
Accepting: believe it is biological
Don’t Accept: believe it is a choice
Men and women are both just as likely to have sex for emotional reasons. Which gender is more likely to have sex for physical, pragmatic and insecurity reasons?
Males
What is the prevalence of infidelity?
21% of women
32% of men
What is the motivation for cheating for men and women?
Men want sex
Women want an emotional connection
What demographic cheats the most?
Gay men
According to the sociosexuality model, who has a more unrestrictive orientation and is more likely to flirt.
Men
Can people guess who is sexually restrictive vs unrestrictive just by looking at them?
Yes
What facial characteristics suggest men and women are sexually unrestricted
More masculine and attractive face
Do people want to have a relationship with sexually unrestrictive people?
Not a long-term relationship
The good-gene hypothesis for the explanation for why women cheat
Some women - particularly those with less desirable mates - can profit from a dual mating strategy where they a) pursue long-term partners who will contribute resources to protect and feed their offspring while b) also seeking good genes for their children with other men
Are men or women more likely to switch mates as a result of an affair?
Women
Why is there such a large proportion of people who have unprotected sex? (7)
- Underestimate the risk of getting an STI (many do not even ask)
- Faulty decision making - men are much worse at making decisions when sexually aroused
- Intoxication
- People think that it is more accepted by others than it actually is
- Differences in power
- Abstinence-only education
- Sex is more enjoyable without condoms
Illusion of Unique Invulnerability
perception that bad things are more likely to happen to others than ourselves
Pluralistic Ignorance
When people wrongly believe that their feelings and beliefs are different from those of others
Does more satisfying sex come from monogamy or multiple partners?
Monogamy
Sex is most rewarding when it fulfills what needs? (3)
- Autonomy
- Competence
- Relatedness
How do traditional gender roles affect sexual satisfaction
Decrease it
Clear _______ about sex is associated with greater satisfaction
Communication
Relational value:
the degree to which others consider the relationship with us to be valuable
When is exclusion most painful?
When we wanted to be included by others
Is there a difference in the hurt feelings experienced when people don’t care about us vs are actively avoiding us?
Not really, it seems that our momentary judgment of our self-worth bottom out when people reject us to any extent
Is there a significant boost in self-esteem from being very well liked to being adored?
not really
What perception of relation value are we most sensitive to?
Ranging from ambivalence to the low end of active inclusion
Decreasing acceptance hurts ____ than just constant rejection
more
What attachment styles experience the most hurt with relational devaluation (decreased acceptance)
high anxious
What attachment style experiences the least pain with the relational devaluation
Avoidant
People with _____ self-esteem get hurt less when rejected
high
When we are being ostracized what is our perception of temperature
We think rooms are colder and we prefer warm food and drink
What happens to time perception when being ostracized?
Feel that it is slower
Those who ostracise others are just as likely to ____ and ____ them as to shame and instruct them
frustrate and anger