Exam 4: Ch 7+8 Flashcards
types of intimacy
emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual
exclusive vs. non-exclusive
long term vs. brief
how to have meaningful relationships
separate people,
enjoy being together
give + receive honest feedback
confront/deal with conflicts
both work on the relationship
both equal
do things instead of treating other as servant
growing together
encourage each other to improve
how to deal with anger (in relationships)
value recognition + expression of anger
express anger without attacking other
don’t hold grudges, let go
recognize danger signs, know when to step away
talk more about yourself: I statements instead of you statements
decide when it’s better to not express anger
positive ways to look at conflict and confrontation
conflict: healthy sign of individual differences
confrontation: a caring act
how to deal with conflict
listen, don’t plan your response
identify your motivation
clarify your intentions
accept responsibility for your feelings
don’t make dogmatic statements
tell others your issues with them
how NOT to deal with conflict
walk away from conflict, ignore it
how to be forgiven
take responsibility for our actions
make amends
why we should forgive
holding grudges inhibits intimacy
forgiveness is good for physical + emotional health and well-being
how to forgive
give yourself time to process your emotions
intimate partner violence + abuse
exerting power and control over others
forms of abuse
physical
sexual
emotional
psychological
economic
abuser’s goal
increase victim’s dependence on them
how to navigate abusive relationship
exercise great caution in partner interactions to avoid potential backlash
abuse victim’s mentality
may rationalize their choice to stay
excuse the partner’s behavior
risk of going back to abuser even after escaping
common communication barriers
hear only what you want to hear
overly concerned with getting your point across
not actually listening, rehearsing what you will say
overly defensive
make assumptions about other instead of directly asking them, not hearing them out
how does technology change relationships
shapes the way people meet, develop relationships, and communicate
enhances ability to communicate with others
advantages of online dating
offers mechanism for matching for compatibility
relationships developed online often transfer successfully to offline
disadvantages of online dating
level of risk from disclosing personal info online
hyperpersonal relationships: intimacy develops more rapidly, emotional boundaries let down too fast due to feeling of anonymity
homophobia
irrational fear of homosexual people
root of homophobic hate crimes
strong negative attitudes about homosexuality
homophobic discrimination
historic discrimination + oppression
dependent on states
adopting children: discrimination + legal barriers
cross-cultural attitudes range from acceptance to condemnation (dangerous)
gay-affirmative therapy
helps individuals accept their sexual identity and learn strategies to deal with those in society who harbor negative social attitudes toward them
how to handle separation/divorce
give yourself time to grieve the relationship
express anger without violence or violent/manipulative language
depersonalize you partner’s actions
take responsibility for your part in the relationship, including its failure
find a support network
do journaling
make amends
seek closure
learn from the experience
learn + love
when does gender role socialization begin
early in life
before birth
gender similarities hypothesis
men and women are highly similar
what does transphobia look like
face violence, discrimination, negative reactions
discrimination in employment, health care, housing
areas with third or alternative gender populations
South Asia, Mexico, Thailand
positive masculinity
focus on:
* applying strength-based approach to understanding + counseling men
* present capacities and resources and identifying the qualities that empower men
* counseling for boys and men
how is masculinity passed on
fathers
the culture (other male figures in lives)
movies + video games
roles that alienate men
gender atypical behaviors
gender-role strain
gender-role conflict
stereotypes of traditional male role
emotional unavailability, denial of fear, power and aggressiveness
independence, protection of inner self, invulnerability
driven to succeed at work
lack of bodily awareness
denial of “feminine” qualities
avoidance of physical contact with men
rigid perceptions
loss of male spirit and experience depression
value of men’s groups
what it means to trust other men
how family relations affect current relationships
what it means to be a father
hiding from oneself and others in work environments
dealing with loss, depression, existential anxiety, which accompany aging
how to carry weight of unexpressed emotions + desires
how inner judgement prevents satisfaction with life
how fear of abandonment prevents risk-taking
healthy ways to deal with frustration + anger
deciding for yourself what it means to be a man
recent changes in female roles
women are increasingly considering career priorities and challenging traditional feminine roles in work, relationships, parenthood, politics
as androgyny gains acceptance, women have more leeway in their struggle for equality, which opens the door to a better quality of life
stereotypes associated with traditional female role
- warmth, expressiveness, nurturance - pressure to have kids
- not assertive or independent - docile
- tendency to be emotional and intuitive
- tendency to be more interested in relationships than in professional accomplishments
women’s work struggles
role strains from conflicting responsibilities
often face discrimination, sexist attitudes, patronizing behavior, esp. in male high-prestige professions
glass ceiling - can look up, but can’t get there
why challenge gender roles
both genders pay a price for staying within the limited boundaries defined by culture
how to challenge traditional gender-role expectations
- becoming aware of prices of gender-role socialization is the 1st step to making choices about assuming expected role behavior
- challenging the societal conditioning that results in rigid role behavior
androgyny
the blending of typical feminine and masculine personality traits + behaviors
alternatives to rigid gender-role expectations
becoming more androgynous to adjust behavior to what the situation requires
gender-role transcendence
gender-role transcendence involves . . .
going beyond the rigid categories of masculine/feminine to achieve a personal synthesis
