Exam 4 Flashcards
The Lord has counseled us to be “more diligent and concerned at home.” Elder Bednar offered three suggestions as to how we could do that. Name them.
- Express Love
- Bear testimony
- Be consistent
What did Elder Hales say is the key to strengthening our families?
Having the Spirit in our homes
When children test family values, it is important to apply the seven word counsel given by Elder Hales. What was it?
To go to the Lord for guidance
President Eyring said if we want eternal life, it must be more than our hope. What must it be?
Our determination
President Eyring counseled us to plan for success, not failure. He said planning for failure can make failure more likely and the ideal less so. What specific counsel did he give to young women and young men to help them achieve the ideal?
think carefully about what they really need in cars, clothes, recreation, houses, vacations, and whatever they will someday try to provide for their children.
Name the four elements of the law of forgiveness.
- Look for the good and not the bad in others
- If we hurt another, we must take responsibility and apologize
- To be forgiven, we must be willing to forgive others
- To be forgiven, we must forgive others from the heart
Elder Holland said those who feel no need for mercy usually never do what two things?
- seek it
2. bestow it
When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm to others, President Uchtdorf said we should apply a two-word counsel. What was it?
Stop it
True or False: True forgiveness requires forgetting.
True
What is the mission of the Church? Husbands and wives? Parents?
Church: Bring souls to Christ, Husbands and Wives: Bring spouses unto Christ, Parents: Bring children unto Christ.
What does it mean to bring someone to Christ?
Help them feel His love and to increase their desire to receive the blessings of His atonement through repentance.
Identify and describe four practices of happiness.
- Learn to minister
- Take the focus off yourself. Look upward and turn outward.
- Express and show gratitude
- Identify, understand and help meet the basic underlying needs of your partner
Define ministering.
To be genuinely interested in someone; to extend friendship, kindness, compassion, charity. It is recognizing needs of others and succoring the weak.
Why did President Hinckley say so many people are miserable?
Because they are obsessed with themselves.
What question did President Eyring’s father suggest represents a true measure of what we love the most?
What do you love so much and think about most when you don’t have to think about anything?
What did President Benson suggest is the root of ingratitude?
Pride
What did President Monson say is the finest formula for a happy marriage?
Think to thank
Complete the following: _______________ precedes ______________ and ______________ precedes ______________.
Humility precedes gratitude
Love precedes progress
What did both President Benson and President Kimball say is the root of most sin?
Deep underlying and unmet needs
Name and describe the seven basic underlying needs of human beings.
- Competence; achievement
- Reconciliation with God: atonement
- Uncertainty, variety, spontaneity
- Certainty or assurances
- Independence; individual power
- Acceptance; closeness, validation, free to be imperfect
- Love- romance, sex
In Ephesians 4:29-32, Paul warned against any type of corrupt communication because it grieves or drives the Spirit away. Specifically, he warned against bitterness, anger, backbiting and malice. In contrast, he said our communication should always be edifying. He then described three characteristics of edifying communication. What were they?
Be kind to one another
Tenderhearted
Forgiving one another
Speaking to the Hebrews (see Hebrews 13:16), Paul noted two sacrifices we must be willing to make to please God. What were they?
- To do good
2. To communicate
In his talk, “The Tongue of Angels,” what did Elder Holland specifically warn men about in their communication patterns?
Their words can break hearts and become a form of abuse
In his talk, “The Tongue of Angels,” what three things did Elder Holland specifically warn women about in their communication patterns?
- A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged
- They can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could imagine.
- There is no place in your magnificent spirit for that kind of talk
In his talk, “The Tongue of Angels,” Elder Holland counseled parents regarding two things they should do and two things they should not do. What were they?
Do:
Be careful in speaking to a child (what we do and don’t say)
Be constructive in your comments.
Don’t:
Tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely.
Compare your children, even if you believe you’re skillful at it.
Elder Holland quoted Orson F. Whitney. What did Elder Whitney say we are like when we have the Spirit of the Lord? What are we like when we don’t have the Spirit of the Lord?
When we have the Spirit, we are optimistic; we trust in God and look on the bright side of things
When we don’t, we are pessimistic, dragged down and away from God, looking on the dark side, murmuring, complaining, and being slow to yield obedience
In class, we described three ways in which the Savior communicated. Name them.
- Jesus communicated with words and acts of love.
- Jesus communicated with the Spirit
- Jesus communicated from a good and pure heart
Describe the six negative patterns of communication (from John Gottman), discussed in class, that arise from an impure heart.
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Contempt: Disgust, making someone feel inferior
- Stonewalling: Avoiding or withdrawing from conflict and the relationship
- Intimidation: using anger, threats, physical size, intellectual prowess
- Manipulation
True or False: Communication weaknesses are more often the result of pride and selfishness than they are the lack of communication skills.
True
When couples are united, they share similar ___ which lead to common __.
Similiar priorities and common goals
Complete the following: Learn to __ and ____ to learn.
Listen and listen to learn
Define validation.
Recognizing someone’s feelings and acknowledging them as important
Complete the following statement from Stephen R. Covey: “Seek first to ____, then to be _____.”
Understand, then to be understood
In class, we discussed five reasons why conflict arises in relationships. Name them.
- We are too quick to judge and jump to conclusions
- We are too easily offended
- We make personal opinions more important than people or relationships
- We believe in false doctrine that contention is normal and acceptable
- We are full of pride.
True or False: Being offended is a choice we make, not a condition imposed upon us.
True
True or False: Contention is inevitable in all relationships, including marriage and family relationships.
False
Complete the following statement from President Monson: “Never let a ___to be _____ become more important than a ____ to be ___.”
Problem to be solved, person to be loved
The first principle of conflict resolution discussed in class was to check your ____________ at the door.
pride
What is the higher ground principle?
Work on changing yourself, not your spouse
What are the two main reasons why people fail to follow the higher ground principle?
- Pri2. Apathy
What did President Harold B. Lee say is the opposite of love?
Apathy
Experts say about _______ percent of all couple issues will resolve themselves if they are discussed and understood.
70%
Complete the following quote from B. H. Roberts: “With ____, let there be _____; in __, let there be ___; and in all things, let there be ___.
Essentials, let there be unity. non essentials let there be liberty. Charity in all things
What is the grapefruit syndrome?
Ceaseless pin-pricking
Recently, AMCAP identified __________________ as the greatest source of conflict of couples entering marriage.
Unrealistic expectations
What three things does the law of the harvest teach us?
- We reap what we sow
- We sow and reap in different seasons
- Harvests vary in plentitud
Drawing from the Hebrew words for both “help” and “meet,” what did Elder Hafen say is the meaning of the word “helpmeet.”
Meet meaning adequate for, or equal to, and help meaning drawing on heavenly powers when she supplies their marriage with spiritual insights uniquely available to women.
In Genesis 3:16, Eve was told that Adam would “rule over” her? How did Elder Hafen interpret the words “rule” and “over?” What word did President Kimball substitute for the word “rule?”
To rule meaning to set the example or standard, and over actually meaning “with” in Hebrew.
President Kimball preferred the word preside over rule
True or False: Spouses are not equal unless they perform the same functions.
False
Why, did Sheri Dew say, God made men and women alike? Why did he make them different?
Alike- so we can love each other, Different- Unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole
To women, Sheri Dew suggested that no amount of time in front of a mirror will make you as attractive as_________.
Having the spirit with you
In class, we discussed five principles that make equal partnership in marriage possible. Name them.
- Shared vision/expectations
- Unity
- Friendship
- Trust
- Spirit
The Proclamation teaches us that, by divine design, fathers are primarily responsible to do what three things in the home?
Preside
Provide
Protect
The Proclamation teaches us that, by divine design, mothers are primarily responsible for _________.
Nurturing children
True or False: In the home, the husband acts as “president” and the wife acts as “vice-president.”
False
When couples are united, they share _______ which lead to common_______.
Priorities which lead to common goals
Trust = ____________ + ______.
Character + competence
In D&C 93:36, 40, what did the Lord command parents to do? We keep that commandment by teaching them correct principles. What specifically did the Lord command parents to teach to their children in D&C 68:25-28?
The Doctrine of Christ
Parents should discipline their children according to principles of righteousness. According to D&C 121:41-43, what are some of those principles?
only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; kindness, pure knowledge and without guile.
Leadership of the family is a man’s most important and sacred responsibility. What two things did President Hunter say effective family leadership requires?
Quantity and quality time
Presiding in righteousness necessitates a shared responsibility between husband and wife. If a man operates independent of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family, of what did President Hunter say he is guilty?
Exercising unrighteous dominion
In cases of divorce or separation, what did President Hunter say the Lord requires of the husband and father?
Meeting family support payments
As patriarch in the home, in what two ways did President Hunter say fathers should exercise their priesthood?
Perform appropriate ordinances and give blessings
What pernicious philosophy did Elder Christofferson say undermines women’s moral influence?
The devaluation of marriage and motherhood and homemaking as a career.
What was the third area of concern, mentioned by Elder Christofferson that threatens the moral influence of women?
Those who want to erase all differences between the masculine and feminine
What or who did President Benson say is the “best teacher?”
A good model
What three things did President Monson say we cannot afford to neglect?
- Family Prayer
- Family Scripture Study
- FHE
President Hunter said greatness is a long-term process that requires what?
Regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time.
Love should be the guiding principle in all discipline, the Lord said: “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love.” What do the words betimes and sharpness mean? How can you know if you are being moved upon by the Holy Ghost to discipline?
Betimes- Quickly or early on
Sharpness- Clarity, precision, and directness
In section 104:13-18, the Lord said he created the heavens and the earth. Hence, what does he conclude? He goes on to say that His desire is to provide for His saints. What is His way of doing that?
It is his handiwork, and everything belongs to him. The poor is exalted and the rich is low.
In section 104:78-80, the Lord expresses His will that we should pay all our debts. He promises to help us if we do what three things?
- Humility
- Diligence
- Pray with faith
In class, we discussed four reasons why self-reliance is so important: Two from President Packer and two from the Handbook of Instructions. Name them.
- Fundamental to happiness
- Individual revelation
- Better prepared to endure adversities
- Better able to care for those in need
What did President Hinckley say is the root of more problems in marriage than all other causes combined?
money
True or False: Most problems with money occur because individuals and families don’t have enough money to make ends meet.
False
Name the five constants taught by President Tanner.
- Pay an honest tithing
- Live on less than you earn
- Distinguish between needs and wants
- Develop and live within a budget
- Be honest
What was the first constant, and the one President Tanner said would have more to do with our financial well-being than any other?
Pay tithing
President Hinckley said: “The Lord will open the windows of heaven according to our ___, and not according to our ___.
need and not to our greed
What two goals should we have in striving to live on less than we earn? What is the key to doing that?
- Avoid debt
- Save money each month
The key is to be disciplined.
