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Question 1

The comeback zinger

Answer 1

A zinger is a quick, scathing, or witty response to a character’s question or
comment. To be considered a zinger, it should always be better than the original
comment. It’s common in buddy films, where two people who dislike each other
constantly insult one another. If you have access to buddy action comedies, such
as Lethal Weapon, 48 Hrs., Rush Hour, or critically-acclaimed television sitcoms,
such as Cheers, Frasier, and Seinfeld to name a few, you’ll find many examples of
witty comebacks for inspiration. Again, for the sake of space, the formatting for
the following dialogue examples is non-standard:

ALIENS
HUDSON: Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
VASQUEZ: No, have you?

ALL ABOUT EVE (JOSEPH L. MANKIEWICZ)
BILL: Is it sabotage, does my career mean nothing to you? Have you no human
consideration?
MARGO: Show me a human and I might have!

REAL GENIUS (NEAL ISRAEL, PAT PROFT, PETER TOROKVEI)
KENT: Oh, you’re the new stud, are you? Or is it dud?
MITCH: How do you mean?
BODIE: Stud. Hot shot. Brain. You’re the twelve-year-old, right?
MITCH: I’m fifteen.
CARTER: Does your body know that?

ANNIE HALL (WOODY ALLEN, MARSHALL BRICKMAN)
ANNIE: So you wanna go into the movie or what?
ALVY: No, I can’t go into a movie that’s already started, because I’m anal.
ANNIE: That’s a polite word for what you are.

Question 2

Push-button dialogue

Answer 2

This is one of my favorite dialogue techniques. As the name implies, this type
of dialogue pushes another character’s emotional buttons. It’s verbal shrapnel.
Pure fireworks. And it always causes an emotional reaction in the receiver,
which also creates a strong emotional hook for the reader. Think of your
favorite lines of dialogue, and I’ll bet most of them fit this criterion. “You’re
not too smart—are you? I like that in a man” (Body Heat); “Frankly, my dear, I
don’t give a damn” (Gone with the Wind); “You can’t handle the truth!” (A Few
Good Men). With push-button dialogue, words come out of a character’s mouth
as weapons with a specific purpose—to hurt, spite, confuse, charm, delight,
seduce, amaze. Always think of the purpose of a character’s line. If there isn’t
one, consider deleting it.

AMERICAN BEAUTY
CAROLYN: Honey, I watched you the whole time, and you didn’t screw up once!

ALL ABOUT EVE
MARGO: Nice speech, Eve. But I wouldn’t worry too much about your heart. You can
always put that award where your heart ought to be.

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE
HARRY: Wow. It’s the perfect beach house.
MARIN: I know. My mother doesn’t know how to do things that aren’t perfect.
HARRY: Which explains you.

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
LECTER: Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling? Thrill me with your
acumen.
CLARICE: It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims.
LECTER: I didn’t.
CLARICE: No. You ate yours.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS (MARK ANDRUS, JAMES L. BROOKS)
CAROL: Oh, come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you.
—–
CAROL: When you first came into breakfast, when I saw you – I thought you were
handsome… Then, of course, you spoke…

Question 3

Sarcasm

Answer 3

Sarcasm is another way to liven up flat dialogue, as long as it fits the character,
since it’s often a personality trait. Like humor, it’s difficult to teach if the writer
is not himself sarcastic. Because sarcasm is used primarily to insult another
character or show scorn, it’s often compared to push-button dialogue. Keep in
mind, however, that although sarcasm always pushes a character’s emotional
buttons, push-button button dialogue is not always sarcastic or negative.

THELMA AND LOUISE
LOUISE: Why are you actin’ like this?
THELMA: Actin’ like what?! How am I supposed to act? ‘Scuse me for not knowing
what to do after you blow somebody’s head off!

MILLER’S CROSSING (JOEL COEN, ETHAN COEN)
VERNA: Where’re you going?
TOM: Out.
VERNA: Don’t let on more than you have to.

WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? (ERNEST LEHMAN)
Martha walks in wearing a pair of tight stretch pants and displaying a lot of cleavage.
GEORGE: Why, Martha! Your Sunday chapel dress.
AMERICAN BEAUTY
LESTER: You don’t think it’s weird and kinda fascist?
CAROLYN: Possibly. But you don’t want to be unemployed.
LESTER: Oh, well, let’s just all sell our souls and work for Satan, because it’s more
convenient that way.
CAROLYN: Could you be just a little bit more dramatic, please, huh?

FRASIER (TV) (DAVID ANGELL, PETER CASEY, DAVID LEE)
FRASIER: Dad, what do you think of the view? Hey, that’s the Space Needle there!
MARTIN: Oh, thanks for pointing that out. Being born and raised here, I never
would have known.

Question 4

Comic comparison

Answer 4

Humor is obviously a skill that makes any dialogue shine. I won’t even attempt to
teach the comedic draft in depth, other than present three common techniques
that can make your dialogue funnier. The first is comic comparison, where you
compare two things for comic effect.

FRASIER (TV)
DAPHNE: Nice to meet you. Oh, and who might this be?
FRASIER: That’s Eddie (the dog).
MARTIN: I call him “Eddie Spaghetti.”
DAPHNE: Oh, he likes pasta?
MARTIN: No, he has worms.

NOTTING HILL (RICHARD CURTIS)
SPIKE: There’s something wrong with this yogurt.
WILLIAM: It’s mayonnaise.
SPIKE: Oh.

SILVERADO (LAWRENCE KASDAN, MARK KASDAN)
(Paden has gotten his horse back and they’re “kissing” each other.)
MARSHALL: How do I know this is your horse?
PADEN: Can’t you see this horse loves me?
MARSHALL: I had a gal do that to me. It didn’t make her my wife.

ANNIE HALL (WOODY ALLEN)
ANNIE: It’s so clean out here!
ALVY: That’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into television.

Question 5

Comic contrast

Answer 5

The second humor technique is to contrast, rather than compare, two opposite
things, which creates a comic effect.

FRASIER (TV)
NILES: Dad doesn’t get along with Maris.
FRASIER: Who does?
NILES: I thought you liked my Maris!
FRASIER: I do. I… I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris
is like the sun. Except without the warmth.

L.A. STORY (STEVE MARTIN)
HARRY ZELL: Three ideas in town I’d like to try you on. One: a comedy. Dark night,
girl gets raped two months before her wedding night.
HARRIS: Did you say comedy?

Question 6

Comic double meaning

Answer 6

A third method for humor is double meaning, which I’ll also discuss in the subtext
segment. Here, it’s dialogue that can be understood two different ways.

REAL GENIUS
ATHERTON: I want to start seeing a lot more of you in the lab.
CHRIS: You want me to work nude?

THE THIN MAN (ALBERT HACKETT, FRANCES GOODRICH)
NORA: They say you were shot in the tabloids.
NICK: They never got near my tabloids.

CAROLINE IN THE CITY (TV)
CAROLINE: Annie, I thought you were in Atlantic City. When did you get back?
ANNIE: Last night.
CAROLINE: Well, how’d you do?
ANNIE: I got Lucky. (Lucky enters. They kiss. Lucky exits.) Mmm. See you, Lucky. So
what’s going on with you, huh?
CAROLINE: Del and I had a big fight and broke up.
ANNIE: Get out of here. How could you break up with Del, he has such great hair.
CAROLINE: I know Annie, but I wanted a little more.
ANNIE: He could grow it.

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (TED TALLY)
LECTER: I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner.

Question 7

Wit

Answer 7

Like humor and sarcasm, you’re either witty or you’re not. This is another of these
“talent” areas that cannot be taught, but you can develop it by being exposed to
and practicing it. Here are some great examples:

48 HRS.
FRIZZY: Aw, you guys were in last week. You better ask around. I’m not supposed to be
hassled… I got friends.
VANZANT: Hey, park the tongue for a second, sweet-pants, we just want to search a
room.

NORTH BY NORTHWEST (ERNEST LEHMAN)
THORNHILL: I don’t think I caught your name
PROFESSOR: I don’t think I pitched it.
THORNHILL: You’re police, aren’t you? Or – is it FBI?
PROFESSOR: FBI… CIA… ONI… we’re all in the same alphabet soup.

FROM DUSK TIL DAWN (QUENTIN TARANTINO)
SETH: You. Plant yourself in that chair.
HOSTAGE: What are you planning on doing with–
SETH: I said plant yourself. Plants don’t talk.

Question 8

Drawing attention to someone or something

Answer 8

Bringing attention to something focuses the reader’s interest and can arouse
curiosity, anticipation, and tension. For example, in the classic crop-duster place
scene in North by Northwest, the reader goes from curiosity in seeing Thornhill in
the desolate and treeless farmland to anticipation and tension when the man says,
“That plane’s dusting crops where there ain’t no crops.” The reader’s attention is
now focused on the plane. This technique is also used in The Silence of the Lambs, in the autopsy scene where Clarice examines the first victim. Note our emotional
change when Clarice says, “She’s got something in her throat.” Our attention
focuses on her throat, anticipating what that something will be.

Question 9

Exaggeration

Answer 9

Exaggeration, like its counterpart Understatement, is a good device to amuse the
reader. As you can see from the following examples, it’s not meant to be taken
literally but metaphorically.

THELMA AND LOUISE
THELMA: I just don’t see what it would hurt just to give somebody a ride. Did you see his
butt? Darryl doesn’t have a cute butt. You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.

ANNIE HALL
After Annie parks the car.
ALVY: Don’t worry. We can walk to the curb from here.
—–
ALVY: Honey, there’s a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
CAROL: An ear infection can send us to the emergency room—maybe five, six times a
month where I get whatever nine-year-old they just made a doctor. Nice chatting with
you.

SHAMPOO (ROBERT TOWNE)
JACKIE: Don’t look over, it’s Lenny Silverman.
JILL: Who is that?
JACKIE: A real swinger. He’s been trying to do me for about two hundred years.

Question 10

Understatement

Answer 10

Whereas exaggeration amplifies the truth, understatement downplays it, usually
in ironic contrast to the situation. You may see examples of this in disaster movies,
where in response to a major crisis or life-or-death situation, a character utters an
ironic line, like “Houston, we have a problem.”

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (WILLIAM GOLDMAN)
BUTCH: What happened to the old bank? It was beautiful.
GUARD: People kept robbing it.
BUTCH: It’s a small price to pay for beauty.

ALMOST FAMOUS (CAMERON CROWE)
Anita shakes hands with Mom, and exits. As the car takes off:
ELAINE: She’ll be back.
In the distance, we hear the whoop of her daughter.
ANITA: YEAHHHHH-HOOOOOOOO.
ELAINE: Maybe not soon…

PSYCHO (JOSEPH STEFANO)
NORMAN BATES: Mother… isn’t quite herself today.

THE LAST BOY SCOUT (SHANE BLACK)
The two men approach the door. Jimmy takes out his key ring.
HALLENBECK: The cops are gonna want to check this place out, so don’t disturb
anything.
JIMMY: Yes, massah.
Jimmy opens the door. Flips on the lights. Stops in his tracks.
The room has been systematically torn to pieces. Broken furniture, shredded clothing.
Everywhere. It looks like a combat zone.
JIMMY: I think someone disturbed some stuff, Joe.

Question 11

Going off on a tangent

Answer 11

This technique is like taking a sudden and unexpected exit off the freeway.
Here, you have a character go off on a tangent with a reply that’s off the subject
discussed.

AMERICAN GRAFFITI (GEORGE LUCAS)
TERRY: I bug out a lot. When I graduate, I’m going to join the Marines.
DEBBIE: They got the best uniforms. But what if there’s a war?
TERRY: With the bomb, who’s going to start it? We’d all blow up together. Anyway, I’d
rather be at the front. I’m like that–rather be where the action is, you know. Once I got in
a fight with–
DEBBIE: I love Eddie Burns.
Terry stops, trying to figure out where their conversation went.
TERRY: Eddie Burns–oh, yeah, Eddie Burns. I met him once, too.
DEBBIE: You really think I look like Connie Stevens? I like her–Tuesday Weld is too
much of a beatnik, don’t you think?

CHEERS (TV)
NORM: Women! Can’t live with ‘em, pass the beer nuts.
ALL ABOUT EVE
LLOYD: She wanted to explain about her interview, wanted to apologize to someone
- and didn’t dare face Margo… She started to tell me all about it - and she couldn’t finish,
she cried so…
He’s over by a window, his back to her. Karen eyes him curiously, waiting for the payoff…
LLOYD (finally): You know, I’ve been going over our financial condition - if you’ll
pardon the expression…
KAREN: That’s quite a change of subject.

Question 12

Inappropriate comment or response

Answer 12

This involves a character telling another something, or responding to something, in a way that inadvertently offends them or seems inappropriate to the
situation.

BEDAZZLED (2000) (LARRY GELBART, HAROLD RAMIS, PETER TOLAN)
CAROL: I’m a lesbian, Elliot.
ELLIOT (laughs nervously): You are not.
Carol opens her wallet and flashes a picture.
ELLIOT: Who’s he?
CAROL (evenly): That’s Diane, my partner.
ELLIOT: Oh, sorry. It’s just—those are some shoulders.

FOUR WEDDINGS AND FUNERAL (RICHARD CURTIS)
CHARLES: How’s that gorgeous girlfriend of yours?
JOHN: Oh, she’s not my girlfriend anymore.
CHARLES: That’s probably for the best. Rumor had it she had sex with every guy
she ever met.
JOHN: She’s my wife now.

L.A. STORY (STEVE MARTIN)
HARRIS: Hey, so some weekend sailors lost some boats. Big deal. If they were rich
enough to have a boat, they were rich enough to lose it. And what kind of an asshole
sailor would trust the wacky weekend weatherman, anyway?
TOD: This one. You’re fired.

Question 13

Interruptions

Answer 13

Interrupting another character is a good way to add tension and excitement to
the dialogue.

THELMA AND LOUISE
THELMA (taking map): Well, it looks like we can get on this road 81 that heads down
towards Dallas, then cut over to–
LOUISE: I don’t want to go that way. Find a way that we don’t have to go through
Texas.

BASIC INSTINCT (JOE ESZTERHAS)
NICK: I’m Detect–
CATHERINE (evenly): I know who you are.
She doesn’t look at them. She looks at the water.
You can also use interruptions to complete a thought for comic effect, such as:

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
Andy and Red play checkers. Red makes his move. RED: King me.
ANDY: Chess. Now there’s a game of kings. Civilized…strategic…
RED: …and totally fuckin’ inexplicable. Hate that game.

Question 14

Lists

Answer 14

This technique uses lists of specific items for dramatic effect, often prompted by
a character’s frustration.

ERIN BROCKOVICH (SUSANNAH GRANT)
ERIN: Which number do you want, George?
GEORGE: You got more than one?
ERIN: Shit, yeah. I got numbers coming out of my ears. Like, for instance, ten.
GEORGE: Ten?
ERIN: Sure. That’s one of my numbers. It’s how many months old my little girl is.
GEORGE: You got a little girl?
ERIN: Yeah. Sexy, huh? And here’s another: five. That’s how old my other daughter is.
Seven is my son’s age. Two is how many times I been married and divorced. You getting
all this? 16 is the number of dollars in my bank account. 454-3943 is my phone number.
And with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re
gonna call it.

MILLER’S CROSSING
TOM: ‘Lo, Terry. You weren’t aiming at me, were you?
TERRY: In the first place, I don’t know what you’re talking about. In the second place,
if I had been aiming at you, I’d’ve hit you. In the third place, I don’t know what you’re
talking about in the first place.

BEDAZZLED (2000)
THE DEVIL: There’s nothing sinister here. Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a notfor-profit corporation with offices in Purgatory, Hell and Los Angeles, will give you seven
wishes to use as you see fit.
ELLIOT: Why seven? Why not eight?
THE DEVIL: Why not six? I don’t know, seven sounds right. It’s a magical mystical thing.
Seven days of the week, seven deadly sins, 7-up, seven dwarves, okay?

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE
HARRY: Can we talk tomorrow?
ERICA: What for? I saw your friend you were having dinner with, if that’s what you want,
it’s never going to work with me. Look at me. I’m a middle-aged woman, don’t let this
brown hair fool you, I don’t have real brown hair on my head, I’m almost all grey… that
would freak you out, wouldn’t it? And I have high cholesterol and my back hurts every
morning and I’m post menopausal and I have osteoporosis and I’m sure arthritis
is just around the corner and I know you’ve seen my varicose veins. Let’s face it man,
that’s not quite the buzz you’re looking for.

Question 15

Metaphors and similes

Answer 15

Just as you can apply metaphors and similes to your narrative description, you can
also use these two literary tools in dialogue to punch it up.

ALMOST FAMOUS
Mom drives William to the San Diego Sports Arena. She looks out the window at the
adrenalized concert-goers.
ELAINE: Look at this. An entire generation of Cinderellas and there’s no slipper
coming.

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID
SUNDANCE (chuckling): You just keep thinkin’, Butch. That’s what you’re good at.
BUTCH: Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

CRUEL INTENTIONS (ROGER KUMBLE)
KATHRYN: Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler.

BULL DURHAM (RON SHELTON)
EBBY: Is somebody gonna go to bed with somebody or what?
ANNIE: You’re a regular nuclear meltdown, honey-slow down.

AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME (MIKE MYERS, MICHAEL MCCULLERS)
DR. EVIL: You’re not quite evil enough. You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil. You’re the
margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.

BODY HEAT (LAWRENCE KASDAN)
RACINE: Are you all right?
MATTY (laughs): Yes. My temperature runs a couple degrees high. Around 100 all the
time, I don’t mind it. It’s the engine or something.
RACINE: Maybe you need a tune-up.
MATTY: Don’t tell me – you have just the right tool.

Question 16

Parallel construction

Answer 16

This technique creates rhythm in dialogue to make it more appealing. It means
two or more sentences in a row are built the same way. It’s a common technique
used by public speakers because it lulls the listener, much like music does. Thus,
it’s a pleasure to hear. Most of the memorable lines from classic speeches, such as
Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream,” and JFK’s “Ask not what your country
can do for you,” are examples of parallel construction.

APOCALYPSE NOW (JOHN MILIUS, FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA)
KURTZ: We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig. Cow after cow.
Village after village. Army after army.

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (BILLY WILDER, RAYMOND CHANDLER)
WALTER NEFF: You were pretty good in there for a while, Keyes. You said it wasn’t an
accident. Check. You said it wasn’t suicide. Check. You said it was murder. Check. You
thought you had it cold, didn’t you?

ON THE WATERFRONT (BUDD SCHULBERG)
TERRY MALLOY: You don’t understand! I could’ve had class. I could’ve been a
contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

GASLIGHT (JOHN VAN DRUTEN, WALTER REISCH, JOHN L. BALDERSTON)
PAULA: But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you.
And because I’m mad, I’m rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a
shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!

GILMORE GIRLS (TV) (AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO)
RORY: So, Grandpa, how’s the insurance biz?
RICHARD: People die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.

Question 17

Progressive dialogue

Answer 17

As the name implies, this is dialogue that progresses upward in intensity, as in “I
was in an accident. I smashed my head. I may die!” Or the dialogue can progress
downward. Note how the first example has an upward progression, followed by
a downward one:

MONTY PYTHON’S FLYING CIRCUS SKETCH
INTERVIEWER: So, in three years you’ve spotted no camels.
CAMEL SPOTTER: Yes, in three years. Er, I tell a lie, four, be fair, five. I’ve been camel
spotting for just the seven years. Before that, of course, I was a Yeti spotter.
INTERVIEWER: A Yeti spotter, that must have been interesting…
CAMEL SPOTTER: You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
INTERVIEWER: And have you seen them all?
CAMEL SPOTTER: Well, I’ve seen one. Well, a little one… a picture of a… I’ve heard
of them.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
MELVIN: Thanks for being on time… Carol, the waitress, this is Simon, the fag.
CAROL: Hello… Oh, my God, who did that to you?
SIMON: I, uh… I was… attacked. Walked in on people robbing me. I was hospitalized. I
almost died.

ALMOST FAMOUS
PENNY LANE: How old are you?
WILLIAM: Eighteen.
PENNY LANE: Me too. (beat) How old are we really?
WILLIAM: Seventeen. PENNY LANE: Me too.
WILLIAM: Actually I’m sixteen.
PENNY LANE: Me too. Isn’t it funny? The truth just sounds Different.
WILLIAM (confesses): I’m fifteen.

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (DAVID MAMET)
BLAKE: We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales context. As you all know,
first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? (holds up prize)
Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.
(Note: also an example of the List technique)

Question 18

Reversals

Answer 18

This is when a character takes an opposite turn in the middle of a thought process, which obviously creates surprise in the reader, and often humor. Using this
technique, you set the reader up with an expectation, and then twist it with an
unexpected response, which is the opposite of what he’d expect.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY (NORA EPHRON)
HARRY: I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
SALLY: What?
HARRY: I love you.
SALLY: How do you expect me to respond to this?
HARRY: How about, you love me too.
SALLY: How about, I’m leaving.
(Note: also an example of Parallel Construction)

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID
BUTCH: I think we lost ‘em. Do you think we lost ‘em?
SUNDANCE: No.
BUTCH: Neither do I.

RAISING ARIZONA (JOEL COEN, ETHAN COEN)
NATHAN: Who the hell are you?
BIKER: Name of Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny… Only I ain’t got no friends.
DOUBLE INDEMNITY
LOLA: There he is. By the bus stop. He needs a haircut, doesn’t he? Look at him. No job,
no car, no money, no prospects, no nothing. (pause) I love him.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
CAROL: You wanna dance?
MELVIN: I’ve been thinking about that for a while.
CAROL (rising): And?
MELVIN: No…

MONTY PYTHON’S FLYING CIRCUS SKETCH
CHARACTER A: I say… Are you implying something?
CHARACTER B: No, no, no, no, no, no. (Beat) Yes.

Question 19

Setups and payoffs

Answer 19

As in a plot setup, where a prop or character gesture that may seem insignificant at
first is set up early in the story and then paid off, a line of dialogue can also be set
up so that it can be paid off with a stronger impact on the reader. The best-known
example is in Casablanca, where the line “Here’s looking at you, kid” is set up in
the Paris flashback and later paid-off with more emotional impact at the climactic
farewell. And then, of course, there’s the memorable line, “Round up the usual
suspects,” which is set up earlier, and then takes on multiple emotional layers at
the end. Here are some more examples:

RAIDERS OF LOST ARK (LAWRENCE KASDAN)
INDY: Give me the whip.
SATIPO: Throw me the idol. No time to argue. Throw me the idol. I throw you the whip.
Indy tosses the idol across the pit to Satipo.
INDY: Give me the whip.
SATIPO: Adios, senor. (Setup)
Satipo drops the whip and rushes out toward the entrance.
Later, Indy finds himself face-to-face with a dead SATIPO, spikes protruding from his
bloodied head. Indy retrieves the golden idol from the ground.
INDY: Adios, estupido. (Payoff)

BASIC INSTINCT
LT. WALKER: The maid came in an hour ago and found him. She’s not a live-in.
GUS: Maybe the maid did it. (Setup)
LT. WALKER: She’s 54 years old and weighs 240 pounds.
CORONER (deadpan): There are no bruises on his body.
GUS (grins): It ain’t the maid. (Payoff #1)
LT. WALKER: He left the club with his girlfriend about midnight. That’s the last time
anybody saw him.
NICK (looks at body): What was it?
CORONER: Ice pick. Left on the coffee table in the living room. Thin steel handle.
Forensics took it downtown.
HARRIGAN: There’s cum all over the sheets – he got off before he got offed.
GUS (deadpan): That rules the maid out for sure. (Payoff #2)

Question 20

Trigger word or phrase

Answer 20

This is the best way to maintain a consistent dialogue flow in a scene. You’ll
recall that one characteristic of great dialogue is when each line of dialogue leads
into the other, back and forth, creating a rhythmic flow throughout the scene. Applying this technique is like creating a chain, where each line leads to the other,
link to link, through a trigger word or phrase that compels the other character
to repeat it, expand upon it, or object. Because of its effectiveness on dialogue
rhythm, it’s one of the most common dialogue techniques in professional scripts.

SLEEPER (WOODY ALLEN, MARSHALL BRICKMAN)
LUNA: It’s hard to believe that you haven’t had sex for two hundred years.
MILES: Two hundred and four, if you count my marriage.
CASABLANCA (JULIUS J. EPSTEIN, PHILIP G. EPSTEIN, HOWARD KOCH)
LASZLO: This is a very interesting cafe. I congratulate you.
RICK: And I congratulate you.
LASZLO: What for?
RICK: Your work.
LASZLO: Thank you. I try.
RICK: We all try. You succeed.

CHINATOWN (ROBERT TOWNE)
GITTES: A memorial service was held at the Mar Vista Inn today for Jasper Lamar Crabb.
He passed away two weeks ago.
EVELYN: Why is that unusual?
GITTES: He passed away two weeks ago and one week ago he bought the land. That’s
unusual.
NOTTING HILL
ANNA: Can I stay for a while?
WILLIAM: You can stay forever.
APOCALYPSE NOW
WILLARD: I was sent on a classified mission, sir.
KURTZ: It appears that it’s no longer classified, is it? What did they tell you?
WILLARD: They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your methods were
unsound.
KURTZ: Are my methods unsound?
WILLARD: I don’t see any method at all, sir.

THE AFRICAN QUEEN (JAMES AGEE, JOHN HUSTON)
ALLNUT: A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it’s only human nature.
ROSE: “Nature,” Mr. Allnut, is what we are put into this world to rise above.

Question 21

Unexpected response

Answer 21

Because humor is based on surprise and the unexpected, this technique is often
used for comic effect. As the name suggests, it involves a character countering with a surprising response. This is one way to fix predictable dialogue and simultaneously highlight a character’s trait and attitude.

ALMOST FAMOUS
WILLIAM: Don’t you understand? He sold you for a case of beer!
(after a pause, through tears)
PENNY LANE: What kind of beer?

MOONSTRUCK (JOHN PATRICK SHANLEY)
RONNY: I’m in love with you!
LORETTA: Snap out of it!

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
Some LITTLE KIDS have wandered over, intrigued by the sweet-looking lady with the
high-powered broomstick.
KID#1: Hey, lady, that thing for real?
SAMANTHA (without looking up): Nope. It’s a toy.
Hennessey nods, clears his throat:
HENESSEY: Yeah, this is Muriel Nintendo, the president of the company. She’s doing
research for a game.
KID #2 scowls at Hennessey:
KID#2: Is not, nimrod. The president of Nintendo is Minoru Arakawa, he’s a man in
his forties.
HENESSEY: Look, fuck you, junior–
SAMANTHA: Shhh. Quiet!

SNEAKERS (PHIL ALDEN ROBINSON, LAWRENCE LASKER, WALTER F. PARKES)
COSMO: I cannot kill my friend. (to his henchman) Kill my friend.

Question 22

Visceral dialogue

Answer 22

This is the kind of dialogue that shoots adrenaline into the reader’s bloodstream.
It’s specifically designed to tense, frighten, or excite the reader. Although overused
in action films during intensely suspenseful situations, you can also use it to
titillate, like in the following example from Basic Instinct:

CORRIGAN: Would you tell us the nature of your relationship with Mr. Boz?
CATHERINE: I had sex with him for about a year and a half. I liked having sex with him.
She has control of the room: she looks from one man to the other as she speaks.
CATHERINE (continuing): He wasn’t afraid of experimenting. I like men like that. I like
men who give me pleasure. He gave me a lot of pleasure.
A beat, as they watch her. She is so matter-of-fact.

ALIENS
HUDSON: Let’s get the fuck out of here! HICKS: Not that tunnel, the other one!
CROWE: You sure? Watch it…behind you. Fucking move, will you!
Gorman is ashen. Confused. Gulping for air like a grouper. How could the situation have
unraveled so fast?
RIPLEY (to Gorman): GET THEM OUT OF THERE! DO IT NOW!
GORMAN: Shut up. Just shut up!

EXECUTIVE DECISION (JIM THOMAS, JOHN THOMAS)
CAHILL: We’re losing the seal! Hurry!
The HISSING INCREASES, the seal threatening to go. Travis looks up, realizing…
TRAVIS: Close the hatch!
Grant hesitates, still extending his arm.
TRAVIS: We’re losing it! Close the goddamn hatch…

Question 23

Word repetition (echoing)

Answer 23

This technique is about repeating certain keywords to create rhythm and emphasis. You can use it to evoke a particular emotion, like Gerard’s awe at the train’s
destruction when he says in The Fugitive (Jeb Stuart and David Twohy), “My, my, my,
my, my, what a mess,” Leo’s nervous excitement in Lethal Weapon 2 (Jeffrey Boam)
when he keeps saying, “Okay, okay, okay,” or Dr. Szell’s cryptic question “Is it
safe?” in Marathon Man (William Goldman). Echoing a word or phrase can also
emphasize wit by turning a line around, like when President Kennedy said, “Ask
not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
Other examples include:

SUNSET BOULEVARD (CHARLES BRACKETT, BILLY WILDER, D.M. MARSHMAN, JR.)
JOE GILLIS: You used to be in pictures. You used to be big.
NORMA DESMOND: I am big. It’s the pictures that got small.

DUCK SOUP (BERT KALMAR, HARRY RUBY)
RUFUS: I could dance with you ‘til the cows come home. On second thought, I’d
rather dance with the cows ‘til you came home.

PATTON (FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA, EDMUND H. NORTH)
GEN. PATTON: Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by
dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for
his country.

ALL ABOUT EVE
KAREN’S VOICE: When was it? How long? It seems a lifetime ago. Lloyd always said
that in the theater a lifetime was a season, and a season a lifetime.

Question 24

Cliché alternatives

Answer 24

This is about turning clichés to your advantage by providing alternatives to them,
while still keeping the original pattern. For example:

LETHAL WEAPON
RIGGS: Oh, by the way: Guy who shot me?
MURTAUGH: Yeah.
RIGGS: Same guy who shot Lloyd.
MURTAUGH: Jesus… You sure?
RIGGS: I never forget an asshole.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (ROBERT RISKIN)
ELLIE: Well, I proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb.

REAL GENIUS
Atherton is returning from his daily jog. He’s decked out in an expensive designer jogging
suit and has all the appropriate accessories. He also has all the silly habits of the trendy
runner for cooling down and stretching.
CHRIS: You wanted to see me, your joggingness?

Question 25

Yes/No alternatives

Answer 25

Asking a question is often the easiest way to deliver exposition, but most responses
tend to be “Yes” or “No” answers. Sometimes, these simple answers provide an
emotional punch, but more often, they generate flat and repetitive dialogue the
reader can easily anticipate. For more impact, you have two choices: whenever
possible, either replace a question with an open ended one that reveals character,
or vary the reply, using creative alternatives to “Yes” and “No” answers, such as
Piece of cake, No problem, You wish, In your dreams, or As if!

SIDEWAYS
JACK: Been checking your messages?
MILES: Obsessively.

MILLER’S CROSSING
CASPAR: So it’s clear what I’m saying?
LEO: …As mud.

CITY SLICKERS (LOWELL GANZ, BABALOO MANDEL)
MITCH: Hi, Curly, kill anyone today?
CURLY: Day ain’t over yet.

CLERKS (KEVIN SMITH)
RANDAL: You called Caitlin again?
DANTE: She called me. RANDAL: Did you tell Veronica?
DANTE: One fight a day with Veronica is about all I can stomach, thanks.

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT (JAMES L. BROOKS)
AURORA: Would you like to come in?
GARRETT: I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.

Question 26

Contrast dialogue with context

Answer 26

You’re already aware of the power of contrast in engaging the reader—
contrasting character traits and attitudes in a scene, contrasting values within
one character, or even character and setting for a fish-out-of-water effect. Here,
we contrast the context of the scene with a character’s emotion as revealed
through dialogue. For example, a character may speak in a slow, calm voice
amid an intense and chaotic event, or he could tell a joke and laugh at a funeral.
In Chinatown, Evelyn stammers and trembles when she’s asked about her father
during a leisurely meal at a fancy restaurant, which engages the reader through
curiosity—why is she so nervous, and what is she hiding from Gittes? In The
Last Boy Scout, Hallenbeck is threatened by two hit men, Chet and Pablo, and yet
exhibits complete cool in this life or death context, while Pablo, who’s expected
to be in control, freaks out:

THE LAST BOY SCOUT
Hallenbeck strikes with a flattened palm. Breaks Chet’s nose. Drives it up into the brain.
Chet stands, pole-axed. Blinks once. Pitches over dead.
And suddenly Pablo isn’t laughing. He stares at Hallenbeck, incredulous. Stares at Chet,
lying on the carpet.
PABLO: Jesus Christ. (draws his gun) You son-of-a-bitch. Jesus Christ!! You killed him!
‘Fuckin’ A, you killed him, he’s fuckin’ dead!!!
Hallenbeck says nothing. Calmly returns to his seat.
At that moment, a door opens, and Milo enters.
Slick. Well-dressed. Utterly composed.
MILO: Is there a problem?
PABLO (still dazed): He killed Chet, Milo. The motherfucker just killed him!
Milo looks toward Hallenbeck. Hallenbeck says nothing. Instead, he calmly leans forward
and picks up Chet’s lighter from the carpet. Lights his cigarette. Blows smoke.
A tense moment… and then Milo does something unexpected: He starts to laugh.
Advances into the room, chuckling.
MILO: Oh, my. Oh, Goddamn. Joseph, Joseph, you don’t disappoint me.
He draws a Walther PPK and approaches Hallenbeck, smiling and cheerful.
MILO: You seem to have killed one of my men.
HALLENBECK (shrugs): I needed a light.

Question 27

Contrast emotional tempo

Answer 27

This is one of the most effective ways to individualize a character’s, while creating conflict within a scene. Tempo is a musical term, which means the speed of
a melody. Here, it means the speed of a character’s dialogue, which conveys his
emotion—fast evoking happiness, excitement, or anger; slow and pained evoking
sorrow, for instance. And when you contrast emotional tempos—fast with slow,
angry with calm, it highlights the emotions and makes the scene more interesting.
In the first example, note how Sonny’s emotional tempo contrasts with Hagen’s;
in the second, how Henessey’s contrasts with Nathan’s and Samantha’s:

THE GODFATHER
HAGEN: We should hear what they have to say.
SONNY: No, no Consiglere. Not this time. No more meetings, no more discussions, no
more Sollozzo tricks. Give them one message: I WANT SOLLOZZO. If not, it’s all out war.
We go to the mattresses and we put all the button men out on the street.
HAGEN: The other families won’t sit still for all out war.
SONNY: Then THEY hand me Sollozzo.
HAGEN: Come ON Sonny, your father wouldn’t want to hear this. This is not a personal
thing, this is Business.
SONNY: And when they shot my father…
HAGEN: Yes, even the shooting of your father was business, not personal… SONNY: No no, no more advice on how to patch it up Tom. You just help me win.
Understood?

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
Now they’re on the open road. Doing 110 mph. Henessey is trembling; Samantha
comatose. Both will freeze soon.
Nathan steals a glance at the rear view mirror. Gets his first good look at Samantha.
React, stunned.
NATHAN: Charly, Jesus Christ. I don’t believe what I’m seeing, you’re so fat.
This is not what she expected to hear.
SAMANTHA: I’m… Um, I mean… What?
NATHAN: What in pluperfect hell have you been eating, you look positively bovine!
Henessey’s still back a few steps:
HENESSEY: WE JUMPED OUT OF A BUILDING!
NATHAN: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we’ll go to the zoo. Shut up.
They squeal through a hairpin turn. Burn rubber.
SAMANTHA: You’re Windeman.
NATHAN: Nathan Windeman. There. The fog lifts, eh? Look, if I talk in front of him, you
may be asked to kill him later. Works for me, your call.
HENESSEY: WE JUMPED OUT OF A GODDAMN BUILDING!
NATHAN: Charlene, darling–

Question 28

Favorite expression

Answer 28

Another effective tool to individualize characters is to give each of them a favorite
expression. When you hear how different people speak—a great exercise for all
writers—you may notice that they have at least one speaking quirk, whether it’s
a favorite phrase or slang buzzword. Giving a character a signature line, if you
will, or tag line at the end of his sentences—such as “Know what I’m saying?” or
“Okay?”—will differentiate him from other characters. Note how the following
signature lines individualize the characters throughout the script:

FARGO (ETHAN COEN, JOEL COEN)
WAITRESS: Can I warm that up for ya there?
ANDERSON: You bet.

SOME LIKE IT HOT (BILLY WILDER, I.A.L. DIAMOND)
OSGOOD: Zowie!

SWINGERS (JON FAVREAU)
TRENT: You’re so money.

LETHAL WEAPON 2
LEO: Okay, okay, okay…

TOY STORY (JOHN LASSITER, ANDREW STANTON)
BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: To infinity and beyond!

ROCKY (SYLVESTER STALLONE)
ROCKY: I think I’m gonna take a steam. Shoulda seen me fight. Did good, y’know.

Question 29

Fragmented, contracted, short sentences

Answer 29

If you were to record an actual conversation, you’d find few complete sentences.
Real speech tends to be jumpy. We often stumble, interrupt, hesitate, use weak
words, and don’t complete sentences. We also tend to contract nouns and verbs,
saying, for instance, “I’m… you’re… shouldn’t… I’d” instead of “I am… you
are… should not… I would.” And we often drop words, making our sentences
sparse. Look at this perfect example from American Graffiti:

AMERICAN GRAFFITI
JOHN: That’s Freddy Benson’s Vette… he got his head on with some drunk. Never had
a chance. Damn good driver, too. What a waste when somebody gets it and it ain’t even
their fault.
CAROL: Needs a paint job, that’s for sure.
John doesn’t hear her and walks on.
JOHN: That Vette over there. Walt Hawkins, a real ding-a-ling. Wrapped it around a fig
tree out on Mesa Vista with five kids in it. Draggin’ with five kids in the car, how dumb can
you get? All the ding-a-lings get it sooner or later. Maybe that’s why they invented cars.
To get rid of the ding-a-lings. Tough when they take someone with them.

This is all about making the dialogue as tight as it can be. By dropping words,
like when John says, “Damn good driver, too,” instead of “He was a damn good
driver, too” and contracting words, his dialogue sounds real, unforced, and spontaneous, as if he’s just making it up as he goes along.
Fragmenting and contracting also helps to fix stilted dialogue, which as you
saw earlier in this chapter, is artificial, formal, and grammatically correct dialogue.
Go through your dialogue and when appropriate, see if you can fragment, contract,
and drop words, usually the first in a sentence, to make your character sound
more realistic and unique.

Question 30

Word choice: jargon and slang

Answer 30

Just as you can give a character a favorite expression, you can focus on his
vocabulary, and make his dialogue more colorful through jargon and slang. Jargon
is the terminology and shorthand particular to a certain profession or cultural
subgroup. If you listen to the way real people talk in various jobs, or different age
groups, particularly teenagers, you’ll find that different trades have different ways
of speaking. For instance, a police officer, a university professor, and a doctor
will have very different manners of speech. This type of dialogue can give your
characters a sense of authenticity, while making their voice unique.

BLADE RUNNER
DECKARD: Great complexion! Suit looks really nice. Who’s your tailor?
HOLDEN: A big fucking skin job put the smash on me, wrecked me up! Looka me, for
Chrissake!

SPORTS NIGHT (TV) (AARON SORKIN)
WOMAN’S VOICE: Stand by audio, stand by tape.
MAN’S VOICE: Georgia Dome’s hot.
ANOTHER WOMAN: You’re hot, Atlanta.
MAN’S VOICE: Somebody, Arrowhead, then back to Mile High, is that how it goes?
FIRST WOMAN: We’re live in 60 seconds.
SECOND WOMAN: Arrowhead bounces to Mile High.
Different age groups can have their own jargon, especially teenagers:

AMERICAN BEAUTY
JANE: I need a father who’s a role model, not some horny geek-boy who’s gonna spray
his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. (snorts) What a lame-o.
Somebody really should put him out of his misery.

AMERICAN GRAFFITI
JOHN: I don’t like that surfing shit. Rock ‘n Roll’s been going downhill ever since Buddy
Holly died.
CAROL: Don’t you think the Beach Boys are boss!
JOHN: You would, you grungy little twerp.
CAROL: Grungy? You big weenie, if I had a boyfriend he’d pound you.

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE
PRETTY GIRL: I’m totally excited about this audition… there’s this totally hilarious
scene where she’s dating this like chauvinist older guy and just as they’re about to do
it, he moans and she thinks he’s just really into her, right? Except he’s having a heart
attack and she’s like so creeped out and her mother, who basically despises the guy,
rushes in, gives him CPR, and saves his life.
Slang is a type of informal jargon, often specific to an uneducated, urban,
vulgar, or criminal crowd, but not exclusively. To avoid clichés, you can make it
up entirely, as long as it sounds authentic and the reader understands its meaning.
This makes your dialogue fresh, colorful, and entertaining.

MILLER’S CROSSING
TOM: Gimme a stiff one.
TONY: No small talk, uh? They shoot your nag?

ROCKY
ROCKY: The juice is climbin’ every week.
FATS: I know the juice is climbin’. I been workin’ six months just to pay the damn interest.
ROCKY: Ya still light seventy.

RESERVOIR DOGS (QUENTIN TARANTINO)
MR. PINK: I gotta take a squint, where’s the Commode in this dungeon?

If you chose to make up words and phrases, make sure they sound realistic
so that the meaning of the conversation is clear, and the characters know what
they’re talking about. You often see this technique in science fiction and fantasy
genres, such as A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick):

ALEX: There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim
and we sat in the Korova milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with
the evening. The Korova Milk Bar sold milkplus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or
drencrom which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you
ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.

Galaxy Quest (David Howard, Robert Gordon) actually pokes fun at this technique
with this bit of dialogue:

BRANDON: Mr. Kwan? In episode nineteen, when the reactor fused, you used an
element from Leopold Six to fix the quantum rockets. What was that called?
FRED: Bivrakium.
BRANDON: The blue sheath it was encased in-?
FRED: A bi-thermal krevlite housing.
Brandon makes a note, thanks him and exits with his group.
GUY: How do you remember this stuff?
FRED: Oh, I make it up. Use lots of “k”s and “v”s.

Question 31

Own agenda

Answer 31

Dialogue is always a function of what a character wants or needs in a scene, even
when spouting exposition. And when they stubbornly cling to their agenda, their
dialogue becomes interesting. The characters listen and respond to each other,
but their agenda remains steadfast and clear. A perfect example is the “Quid
pro quo” scene between Clarice and Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs, where each
character has a clear agenda: Clarice wants information that will lead to Buffalo
Bill’s capture, and Lecter wants to get inside her head by making her disclose her
past. The scene is too long to include here, but as you read it or watch it, note the
power play between them, as each character clutches to their own agenda, using
sharp orders like:

LECTER: Quid pro quo. I tell you things, you tell me things.
LECTER: Tell me. Don’t lie, or I’ll know.
CLARICE: Quid pro quo, Doctor.
CLARICE: No. Tell me why.
LECTER: After your father’s death, you were orphaned. What happened next?
CLARICE: No…! Quid pro quo, Doctor.

And for a completely lighter mood, this classic example:

SOME LIKE IT HOT
JERRY: Look, Osgood–I’m going to level with you. We can’t get married at all.
OSGOOD: Why not?
JERRY: Well, to begin with, I’m not a natural blonde.
OSGOOD (tolerantly): It doesn’t matter.
JERRY: And I smoke. I smoke all the time.
OSGOOD: I don’t care.
JERRY: And I have a terrible past. For three years now, I’ve been living with a saxophone
player.
OSGOOD: I forgive you.
JERRY (with growing desperation): And I can never have children.
OSGOOD: We’ll adopt some.
JERRY: But you don’t understand! (He rips off his wig; in a male voice) I’m a man!
OSGOOD (oblivious): Well–nobody’s perfect.

Question 32

Own track

Answer 32

This is similar to the technique above, except here, one character is completely
oblivious to the other character, ignoring what the other is saying and continuing
on his own track. Both are in their own world instead of listening to each other
and reacting.

SOME LIKE IT HOT
Sugar has screwed the cap back on the flask, and now slips it under her garter.
SUGAR: Are my seams straight?
JERRY(examining her legs): I’ll say.
SUGAR: See you around, girls. She waves and exits into the Pullman car.
JERRY: Bye, Sugar. (to Joe) We been playing with the wrong bands.
JOE: Down, Daphne!
JERRY: How about the shape of that liquor cabinet?
Joe spins him around, and unbuttoning the back of his dress, starts to fix the slipped
brassiere.
JOE: Forget it. One false move, and they’ll toss us off the train - there’ll be the police, and
the papers, and the mob in Chicago…
JERRY: Boy, would I like to borrow a cup of that Sugar.
JOE (whirling him around, grabbing the front of his dress): Look - no butter, no pastry,
and no Sugar!

TWO AND A HALF MEN (TV) (LEE ARONSOHN, CHUCK LORRE)
ALAN: Charlie, I need to talk about this.
CHARLIE: Me too. If I don’t do anything about this website, I’m gonna have to move to
Pennsylvania and chase Amish broads.
ALAN: Judith wants to reconcile. I’ve dreamed about this happening but now that it’s
here, I wonder if it’s what I truly want.

CHARLIE: I’m thinking whoever put up this website has to be somebody I went out with
at least once.
ALAN: It would be great for Jake to have both his parents in one house again, not to
mention without alimony, I would stop getting my hair cut at the barber college.
CHARLIE: I’m thinking I could eliminate the married chicks, the ones that don’t speak
English, and the handful to whom I was never properly introduced.
ALAN: I should make a list, the pros and cons of getting back together with Judith.
CHARLIE: You know what, I’m gonna need to make a list.
ALAN: I’m glad we talked this out.
CHARLIE: I’m always here for you, bro.
ALAN: Me too.

Question 33

Regional/foreign accents and foreign languages

Answer 33

Revealing attitudes and traits Since no two people have exact experiences or physical attributes, no two characters in a script should view the world in the same way. What they say to others, and how they say it, defines their attitudes and values and shows the reader who they are. In fact, every line of dialogue is an opportunity to reveal personality and attitude. Vocabulary choices and speech patterns should suggest a character’s personality in addition to his current emotion. Before you can expose a character through dialogue, however, you must know who they are, which is why the basic character work in Chapter 5 is essential for this technique to be effective. Once you know a character’s feelings on issues, his fears, hopes, and values, his dialogue will become more distinctive. The trick is simple, though the execution must be creative: Pick a trait or attitude, and “translate” it into dialogue, reflecting it through word choice or manner of speaking, under different contexts. For example, let’s say you have a character who’s frugal and values saving money. You may reveal this trait when he says to his wife, “Hope you didn’t throw away the coupons,” or to the waiter at a restaurant, “Separate checks, please.” Not the best dialogue, but you get the idea. This is the quintessential technique used in TV sitcoms, where writers repeat welldefined characteristics through different episodes and different jokes over years. Looking at classic films, in Chinatown, Noah Cross’s superior attitude is exposed through his mispronouncing Gittes’ name and ignoring his corrections. In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Nurse Ratched’s controlled language, which constantly orders people, reveals her sense of superiority, while Billy’s stuttering exposes his low-esteem. And in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Martha’s and George’s bitter attitudes toward each other are revealed throughout their dialogue. Here’s another great example of personality and attitude revealed through the dialogue of a fast-talking, obnoxious, and sexist traveling salesman in It Happened One Night (Robert Riskin):

SHAPELEY:
Shapeley’s the name - and that’s the way I like ‘em! You made no mistake sitting next to me. Just between us, the kinda mugs you meet on a hop like this ain’t nothing to write home to the wife about. You gotta be awful careful who you hit up with, is what I always say, and you can’t be too particular, neither. Once when I was comin’ through North Carolina, I got to gabbin’ with a good-lookin’ mama. One of those young ones, you know, and plenty classy, too. Kinda struck my fancy. You know how it is. Well, sir, you could’a knocked me over with a Mack truck. I was just warming up when she’s yanked offa the bus. Who do you think she was? Huh? Might as well give up. The girl bandit! The one the papers been writin’ about. (He pulls out a cigar) What’s the matter, sister? You ain’t sayin’ much.

Question 34

Sensory preferences

Answer 34

According to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a psychological model of how we communicate to ourselves and others, we represent the world through the five senses—visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory, and olfactory. We also tend to have one predominant representational system, which often shows up in our speech. For instance, if we’re a visual person, we respond to images and use words like Good to see you, See you later, Let me look at it, Focus on it, Watch it, Be clear, It’s still fogg y, Picture this, Notice, It appears that, or Looks good to me.” An auditory person responds to sounds and tends to use words like, Listen, Talk to you later, or I’ve been hearing good things about it. A kinesthetic person is predominantly sensitive to touch and internal feelings, and will say things like, I’ve got a good feeling about this, I’ll be in touch, Hold on, I can’t grasp the premise, or I’ll handle it later.” There are also olfactory people sensitive to smells (Smells fishy to me), and gustatory people sensitive to tastes (I’m so close, I can taste it). But the most common ones are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. I must admit this is a minor technique seldom used by writers because these sensory clues tend to be dialogue fillers that are often cut in the rewrite. However, they can add uniqueness and veracity to a character, especially when you contrast sensory preferences within a scene. Like many other techniques in this book, this is one that works subconsciously. The reader shouldn’t be conscious of it.

Question 35

Speech rhythms

Answer 35

In his book On Writing Well, William Zinsser says, “Bear in mind, when you are choosing words and stringing them together, how they sound. This may seem absurd: readers read with their eyes. But actually, they hear what they are reading, in their inner ear, far more than you realize.” This is where having “an ear” for dialogue comes in handy—being able to hear the “sound” of dialogue. Dialogue is like music. You can actually hear it. It has rhythm and pace, crescendos, pauses, and silences. Aaron Sorkin, best known for his dialogue in TV shows such as Sports Night and The West Wing, once said, “I don’t have stories to tell. What I love is the sound of dialogue and the music of dialogue. It’s what I like to write.” Other masters of dialogue, like Paddy Chayefsky, David Mamet, and Quentin Tarantino would probably agree since they’re known to rewrite dialogue until the rhythms are right. So how do you develop this skill? You have to develop an ear for it, there’s no other way. You do this by listening to how others speak, eavesdropping on as many different subgroups as you can—rural, city, street, African-American, Hispanic, beach, Southern, teens, etc., until you can pick out all the different speech patterns, cadences, and vocal nuances. Another useful tip is to explore scripts with great dialogue, preferably in different genres and from different writers. Finally, you can improve your dialogue by having others read it out loud, while you sit back and listen. Here are examples of different rhythms:

RAISING ARIZONA
HI: I was in for writing hot checks which, when businessmen do it, is called an overdraft. I’m not complainin’, mind you; just sayin’ there ain’t no pancake so thin it ain’t got two sides. Now prison life is very structured—more than most people care for…

MILLER’S CROSSING
LEO: You pay off for protection, just like everyone else. Far as I know–and what I don’t know in this town ain’t worth knowing–the cops haven’t closed any of your dives and the DA hasn’t touched any of your rackets. You haven’t bought any license to kill bookies and today I ain’t selling any. Now take your flunky and dangle.

BULL DURHAM
CRASH: And you, Larry Hockett, should recognize me ‘cause five years ago in the Texas League when you were pitching for El Paso and I was hitting cleanup for Shreveport, you hung a curve on an 0-2 pitch of a 3-2 game in bottom of the 8th and I tattooed it over the Goodyear Tire sign, beat you 4-3–and I got a free wheel alignment from Goodyear.

Question 36

Bite-sized: present it in small doses

Answer 36

This is about presenting information sparingly, feeding it to the reader via an eyedropper, rather than a ladle.. Revealing too much information too soon is a common error among inexperienced writers. Think about delivering exposition the way you would dole out candy to a child—just enough to make him happy, but not enough to make him sick. Too much exposition at once can become clumsy and dull. This is why you often see technical information in action scripts spread through several characters, like several engineers in a room explaining scientific data, each giving out a small dose.

ARMAGEDDON (JONATHAN HENSLEIGH, J.J. ABRAMS)
GOLDEN: Okay guys, one of the worst days in N.A.S.A. history just got worse. Ten million to one. The stuff that hit this morning was the collision’s forward-thrown matter, mere pebbles from what’s about to come. Walter? CLARK: A big asteroid. E.T.A., eighteen days. A lot bigger than the five mile one that obliterated the dinosaurs. GOLDEN: The size of Texas.

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY (TONY GILROY)
Everything stops, as THE PHOTO – blurry, oblique – begins materializing on HALF-ADOZEN MONITORS around the room.
PAMELA (to Nicky): Is it him? Looking closer – she nods…
CRONIN: He’s not hiding, that’s for sure.
ZORN: Why Naples? Why now?
KURT: Could be random.
CRONIN: Maybe he’s running.
ABBOTT: On his own passport?
KIM: What’s he actually doing?
CRONIN: What’s he doing? He’s making his first mistake…
And then, from behind them –
NICKY: It’s not a mistake. (everyone looks over) They don’t make mistakes. And they don’t do random. There’s always an objective, always a target. (beat) If he’s in Naples, on his own passport, there’s a reason.

Question 37

Foreshadow

Answer 37

Foreshadowing is when things are said that appear to be innocent, but in the
context of the story often have a sinister implication of events to come. In short,
it’s a hint of future danger or the promise of things to come through a twist,
a clue, or character nuance. This creates anticipation and tension, worry, and
intrigue.

CITY SLICKERS
MITCH: Hi, Curly, kill anyone today?
CURLY: Day ain’t over yet.
BASIC INSTINCT
NICK: What’s your new book about?
CATHERINE: A detective. He falls for the wrong woman.
NICK: What happens to him?
CATHERINE (looks him right in the eye): She kills him.

THELMA AND LOUISE
MAX: We don’t have a whole lotta choice, do we? I can’t figure out if they’re real smart or
just really, really lucky.
HAL: It don’t matter. Brains will only get you so far and luck always runs out.

ALIENS
RIPLEY: How long before we’re declared overdue can we expect a rescue?
HICKS: Seventeen days.
HUDSON: Seventeen days? Look man, I don’t wanna rain on your parade, but we’re
not gonna last seventeen hours! Those things are gonna come in here just like they did
before. And they’re gonna come in here…
RIPLEY: Hudson!
HUDSON: …and they’re gonna come in here AND THEY’RE GONNA KILL US!

Question 38

Glaze it with emotion

Answer 38

Exposition can be made more palatable to the reader when it’s glazed, or
coated, with emotion. This can be any character emotion, like anger, joy, fear,
or impatience. It can also be any of the reader emotions we’ve explored so far—
curiosity, anticipation, tension, surprise, or humor. For instance, in Chinatown,
Robert Towne glazes his heavy exposition with curiosity and anticipation when we
follow Gittes’ investigation of Mulwray’s affair. While we anticipate evidence that
Mulwray is indeed cheating, in the background we’re given exposition on L.A.’s
drought, the politics of water management, and the plight of the farmers. In fact,
this is an effective technique is mystery films, which are driven by curiosity and
tension. The clues and revelations the reader encounters throughout the story are
the actual exposition. In Basic Instinct, Joe Eszterhas glazes exposition with tension
and curiosity, like in the interrogation scene where Catherine is interrogated by
all the detectives at the police station, and she’s in complete control. In Charade,
there’s a long exposition scene in a restaurant as Bartholomew tells Reggie the
backstory of why five men are after the missing $250,000. Here the exposition
is glazed with the emotion of impatience and humor, caused by the waiter’s
interruptions and Reggie’s eccentric behavior. In fact, glazing exposition with
impatience is an effective trick of the trade. For example, a character wants to
learn something very important. He approaches another character who has that
information, but for whatever reason the man talks about everything else but that
particular subject. “Everything else” the man talks about is the exposition you
need to reveal to the reader.
Here’s another example that glazes the dullest exposition—scientific
information—with humor and sensual titillation:

REAL GENIUS
SHERRY (between kisses): Talk smart to me.
CHRIS: What?
They are lying in the middle of the dish. Passion mounts, fingers cope with belts and
buttons, clothing falls away; my God, these people are having sex.
SHERRY: Please I need it. What was your favorite course?
CHRIS: I guess right now I’d have to say Fluid Mechanics.
SHERRY: Oooooooooh…
CHRIS: And Gym.
SHERRY: Please.
CHRIS: Sorry.
SHERRY: What’s your research with Artherton?
CHRIS: Ultra-high power laser as an energy force for fusion. Tremendous boon to all
mankind. And womankind, too.
SHERRY: Fusion, more fusion.
CHRIS: It’s the process for obtaining enormous amounts of energy from forms of
hydrogen, like Deuterium and Tritium.
SHERRY: Oh, my God, more.
CHRIS: Extracting the fuels is no problem.
SHERRY: Hmmmm.
CHRIS: Getting them to combine and release the energy is the problem.
SHERRY: Oohh, yes.
CHRIS: It takes temperatures of 100 million degrees Celsius.
SHERRY: Oh, God.
CHRIS: So, I’m…
SHERRY: Yes.
CHRIS …building…
SHERRY: Yes.
CHRIS: …a laser…
SHERRY: Oh, yes.
CHRIS: …that pulses…
SHERRY: Hmmmmmmmm.
CHRIS: …very hot…
SHERRY: Ohhh…
CHRIS: …and causes…
SHERRY: Yes.
CHRIS: …Fusion…
SHERRY: Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Question 39

Imply information

Answer 39

Implied information is always more interesting than direct information for
one important reason: the reader is actively involved in trying to figure out the
information rather than passively being spoon-fed. This is equivalent to on-thenose dialogue versus subtext, which is implied emotions and thoughts. We’ll
explore subtext in depth later in the chapter, but here are a few examples of
exposition where the information is implied instead of direct:

BLADE RUNNER
BRYANT: You’re gonna spot ‘em an’ you’re gonna air ‘em out.
DECKARD: Not me, Bryant. I won’t work for you anymore. Give it to Holden, he’s good.
BRYANT: I did.
DECKARD: And?
BRYANT: He can breathe okay… as long as nobody unplugs him.

ALL ABOUT EVE
MAX: Answer me this. What makes a man become a producer?
ADDISON: What makes a man walk into a lion cage with nothing but a chair?
MAX: This answer satisfies me a hundred percent.

ERIN BROCKOVICH
ED: This is the only thing you found?
ERIN: So far. But that place is a pigsty. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more.
ED: I know how those places are run. They’re a mess. What makes you think you can
just walk in there and find what we need?
ERIN: They’re called boobs, Ed.

GILMORE GIRLS (TV)
LORELAI: Michel. The phone.
MICHEL: It rings.
LORELAI: Can you answer it?
MICHEL: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.
LORELAI: You know who’s really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment
agency.
Michel picks up the phone.

Question 40

Present it when the reader is eager to know it

Answer 40

One of the most common problems with exposition is offering it before its time,
before we’re eager to know it. This follows the basic principle that information is
more interesting when we want to know it. If you set up the desire to know first,
thus establishing curiosity, the reader will become eager to have his questions
answered. When you answer his questions, it doesn’t feel like exposition. This
is why information that’s kept secret for as long as possible is more interesting
than if it’s blurted out all at once, as demonstrated by Evelyn’s secret in Chinatown.
Other examples of this technique include the “I can’t swim” scene in Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid. There’s no better time to reveal the exposition that Sundance
can’t swim than when we’re eager to know why he won’t jump off the cliff. In
Raiders of the Lost Ark, we find out Indiana Jones hates snakes when he’s faced with
one. In Casablanca, the Paris flashback appears when we’re eager to know why
Rick is so bitter towards Ilsa.

Question 41

Surround it with conflict

Answer 41

As mentioned earlier, most professional writers advise to make exposition a byproduct of conflict. In other words, there should never be any boring exposition in
your script, only interesting discovery through conflict, such as fights, arguments,
complications, or life-or-death situations. For example, in North by Northwest,
all the information Thornhill reveals about himself is in conflict with the men
who are trying to kill him. In The Terminator, there is a ten-minute scene of pure
exposition where Reese, who has just saved Sarah from the Terminator, lays out all
the information we need to know—where he comes from, what the Terminator is,
and all the foreshadowing designed to create anticipation. Yet, the scene doesn’t feel like an exposition scene because of the conflict and excitement generated by
the police and the Terminator chasing after Reese and Sarah. Imagine what this
exposition would have felt like if it were presented in a ten-minute restaurant
scene without any conflict surrounding it. Conflict is the best way to camouflage
exposition.

Question 42

Add dramatic irony

Answer 42

In Chapter 6, we explored this most effective tool to arouse anticipation and
tension, thereby creating forward movement in a story. Always keep in mind
that it is this anticipation which causes reader engagement, not the freshness
of the dialogue, or the action in a scene. This means you simply can’t rely on
hip and edgy dialogue or character actions to keep the reader’s attention. When
you add dramatic irony, or Reader superior position, to a scene, you can have
the dullest exposition (not recommended, of course) and still have a compelling
scene. This is a proven technique when conveying flat information. Look at the
scene following the crop duster attack in North by Northwest, where Thornhill
returns to the hotel to face Eve, whom we know is working for the bad guys
and has betrayed him (dramatic irony). The dialogue couldn’t be more mundane
and expository, and yet because we know something Eve doesn’t, this becomes
another fascinating scene where we’re at the edge of our seats. We wonder
what Thornhill will do to Eve, how he’ll react, and whether he’ll explode and
confront her.

Question 43

Make the exposition active

Answer 43

This technique is similar to those that make anything active—a word, sentence,
character, or line of dialogue. Active has always more impact than passive. This
is no different with exposition. To make it active, give the information purpose
when the characters interact. Thus, the exposition becomes part of a character’s agenda. When the character needs to give this information, it comes with
an emotional edge, and is therefore interesting. For example, on a first date,
most of the perfunctory exposition given by one character may be designed to
impress, charm, or seduce. So it shouldn’t feel dull. In Some Like It Hot, when
Joe disguises himself as the Shell millionaire Junior and runs into Sugar at the
beach, his basic exposition has purpose. It is active information because he
needs to convince Sugar he’s the millionaire she’s been looking for all her life.
Always make sure there’s a valid reason for a character to deliver this information right here, right now. This will make it ring true to the scene.

Question 44

Twist a character’s emotions to get it

Answer 44

Nothing is duller than information being forced on you, and nothing is more
intriguing than information someone’s trying to hold out. Therefore, if you make
characters need the information, and have them fight for it, boring exposition turns into taut confrontation. How do you do this? One effective way is to twist
the other character’s emotions to get at the truth. You keep your hero active in
trying to get the information out, rather than passively listening to it. The fun
comes from the clash of wills (conflict) and the way the other’s emotions are
manipulated. A character can squeeze out information out of a reluctant character
by exploiting their baser human motives—greed, jealousy, fear, anger, impatience,
or desire. For instance, you can take advantage of another’s greed by giving them
money for the information. How many times have we seen the clichéd $20 slip to
a reluctant bartender in detective TV shows? Or a detective threaten a reluctant
witness with accessory to a crime? It’s your job to be creative. In Chinatown, note
how Robert Towne has Gittes irritating Yellburton’s secretary, thus exploiting her
impatience to get valuable information on Noah Cross and his involvement with
the water department.

Question 45

Present it in a unique way

Answer 45

If you find a unique way to present exposition, one the reader hasn’t seen in
countless screenplays, he’ll be receptive to it because it will be glazed with the
emotion of freshness, coolness, and originality. Think of how Princess Leia’s
hologram delivers crucial exposition in Star Wars, how E.T. presents information
through objects floating in the air as if they were planets, and the self-destruct
tape in the Mission Impossible TV show. In Annie Hall, background information on
the character’s childhoods is presented by the adult characters interacting with
their childhood versions in their home and classroom. The more unique the
presentation, the more receptive the reader will be to it.

Question 46

Action as response

Answer 46

This is a simple but proven technique where a character’s action is the response
to a question, request, or declaration, instead of a straight line of dialogue. For
example, if someone said “I love you,” and the other slapped him instead of
saying “How dare you?” or “Well, I hate you,” the slap would be subtext. Imagine
another action as response to “I love you”—crying, leaving the room, simply
staring at the person for a long beat, going back to reading the newspaper, each a
specific action, each saying something else without actually uttering a verbal onthe-nose response. Here’s a perfect example from Network (Paddy Chayefsky):

MAX: Listen, if we can get back for a moment to that gypsy who predicted all that about
emotional involvements and middle-aged men, what’re you doing for dinner tonight?

DIANA pauses in the doorway, and then moves back briskly to the desk, picks up the
telephone receiver, taps out a telephone number, waits for a moment–

DIANA (on the phone): I can’t make it tonight, luv, call me tomorrow.

She returns the receiver to its cradle, looks at MAX; their eyes lock

Question 47

Change the subject, evade

Answer 47

Another clear technique that implies rather than states is having a character
abruptly change the subject of conversation, thus evading a topic that could bring
about uncomfortable emotional stress. For example:

AMERICAN GRAFFITI
STEVE: Where was I?
LAURIE: Um, how you thought high school romances were goofy and we started going
together just because you thought I was kinda cute and funny, but then you suddenly
realized you were in love with me, it was serious…and ah…oh, you were leadin’ up to
somethin’ kinda big.
STEVE: You make it sound like I’m giving dictation. Well, seriously, what I meant was,
that ah…since we do care for each other so much, and since we should really consider
ourselves as adults. Now, I, ah…could I have a couple of those fries?

FRASIER (TV)
FRASIER: Well, the rest of the show was pretty good. (Roz says nothing) It was a good
show, wasn’t it?
ROZ (tears him a piece of notepaper): Here, your brother called.
FRASIER: Roz, in the trade we call that “avoidance.” Don’t change the subject, tell me
what you think.
ROZ (points at her console): Did I ever tell you what this little button does?
FRASIER: I am not a piece of Lalique. I can handle criticism. How was I today?
ROZ (turns her chair to face him): Let’s see… you dropped two commercials, you left a
total of twenty-eight seconds of dead air, you scrambled the station’s call letters, you
spilled yogurt on the control board, and you kept referring to Jerry–with the identity
crisis–as “Jeff.”
Frasier considers the criticism.
FRASIER (takes the notepaper): You say my brother called…

GILMORE GIRLS (TV)
LORELAI: So.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Tell me about the guy.
RORY: You know what’s really special about our relationship? The total understanding about the need for one’s privacy. I mean, you really understand boundaries.

THELMA AND LOUISE
Louise looks down the road and sees a highway patrol car coming down the road
towards them. She glides along as the cop car passes on the other side without seeing
them. J.D. and Louise look at each other.
J.D.: Maybe you got a few too many parking tickets?
LOUISE: We’ll take you on to Oklahoma City, then you’d best be on your way.

Question 48

Contrast dialogue with action

Answer 48

Briefly discussed in the Subtext section of Chapter 8, this is one of the best ways to create subtext in a scene. The dialogue itself doesn’t reveal the true meaning of the exchange, the contrasting action does—like when a character says he loves dogs, but then recoils when he sees one. The subtext comes from the action, not the dialogue. This is why we say actions speak louder than words. To create subtext, make a character say something that’s counter to what he does, like at the end of When Harry Met Sally, when Sally tells Harry she hates him, but then kisses him, or in Casablanca, when Rick says he sticks his neck out for nobody, but then pockets the transit letters.

Question 49

Difficulty revealing emotion

Answer 49

Dialogue is rarely the best way to express emotion unless it’s forced out into the
open. Remember in the previous section on exposition, how information that’s
forced out is always more engaging than information freely given? The same goes
for subtext when you have a character who tries to avoid a sensitive issue or has
trouble finding words to express his feelings. Here, you can convey an emotion by
having a character struggle with its expression, like in these two great examples:

SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (STEVEN SODERBERGH):
ANN: You just ask them questions?
GRAHAM: Yes.
ANN: And they just answer them?
GRAHAM: Mostly. Sometimes they do things.
ANN: To you?
GRAHAM: No, not to me, for me, for the camera.
ANN: I don’t… why… why do you do this?
GRAHAM: I’m sorry this came up.
ANN: This is just… so…
GRAHAM: Maybe you want to go.
ANN: Yes, I do.

CASABLANCA
ILSA (controlling herself): Oh, Rick – it’s a crazy world – anything can happen – If you
shouldn’t get away – If – If something should keep us apart – Wherever they put
you – wherever I’ll be – I want you to know that I– (she can’t go on; she lifts her face
to his) Kiss me. Kiss me as though – as though it were the last time.

Question 50

Double meaning

Answer 50

Earlier in this chapter, we looked at double meaning for comic effect. Here, it can
be used dramatically to convey a particular emotion. A character uses a line of
dialogue which has two meanings. The first may be considered on the nose, while
the second meaning is the implied emotion. The following examples illustrate
this technique:

DOUBLE INDEMNITY
NEFF: Know why you couldn’t figure this one, Keyes? I’ll tell ya. The guy you were
looking for was too close. Right across the desk from ya.
KEYES: Closer than that, Walter.
NEFF: I love you, too.

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE
HARRY: What’s with the turtlenecks? It’s the middle of summer.
ERICA: Now seriously, why do you care what I wear?
HARRY: Just curious.
ERICA: I like them. I’ve always liked them. I’m just a turtleneck kinda gal.
HARRY: You never get hot?
ERICA: No.
HARRY: Never?
ERICA: Not lately.

Question 51

Emotional masks

Answer 51

This technique mirrors a common psychological truism: When we’re embarrassed,
we often try to hide the negative feeling by putting up an artificial front in order
to maintain a façade of strength and pride. As Oscar Wilde once said, “A mask
tells us more than a face.” For example, when a teenage boy asks a girl out and
she turns him down, the boy covers his shame by saying something like “No big
deal, I had some stuff to do anyway.” This deceptive front—tough on the outside,
hurt on the inside, is an effective way to create subtext in a dialogue exchange,
and to invite the reader to share what the character is feeling, as illustrated by the
following examples:

UNFORGIVEN (DAVID WEBB PEOPLES)
DELILAH: Alice an’ Silky gave them… free ones.
MUNNY (understanding, embarrassed): Oh. Yeah.
DELILAH (shy, timid): You want… a free one.
MUNNY (looking away, embarrassed): Me? No. No, I guess not.
And Delilah is hurt… crushed. She gets up and covers it by picking up the remains of the
chicken and Munny is too embarrassed to look at her.
DELILAH (covering her hurt): I didn’t mean… with me. Alice and Silky, they’ll give
you one… if you want.

CAROLINE IN THE CITY (TV)
CAROLINE: Maybe we could catch a movie sometime.
DEL: Yeah, when?
CAROLINE: How about tonight?
DEL: Ohhh, tonight’s bad. I’ve got a thing.
CAROLINE: A thing… like elective surgery?
DEL: No. I’ve got an, am, a, a…
CAROLINE: Oh, Del, I’m an adult. If you have a date, just come right out and tell me.
DEL: Okay, I’ve got a date.
CAROLINE: A date? A date?
DEL: Hey, you’re the one who said we should, you know, get on with our lives.
CAROLINE: As we should. As a matter of fact, talk about coincidences, I just
remembered, I have a date tonight, too.
DEL: Really?
CAROLINE: That would have been embarrassing, huh? Me making a date with you
and then having this other big, hot date.

Question 52

Imply instead of conclude

Answer 52

Remember the “2+x=5” equation, and how we automatically conclude that x=3?
Readers like to be engaged by a script page when it implies things, rather than
state them overtly, thus allowing the reader to come up with his own conclusions.
Implying would be subtext; concluding would be on the nose. The choice is clear.
It’s your duty through craft and art to create dialogue that implies so that the
reader gets to evaluate its meaning. This is how the pros do it:

BLADE RUNNER
DECKARD: Where do you get them, the memories?
TYRELL: In the case of Rachael, I simply copied and regenerated cells from the brain of
my sixteen-year-old niece. Rachael remembers what my little niece remembers.
DECKARD: I saw an old movie once. The guy had bolts in his head.

THE APARTMENT ( BILLY WILDER, I. A. L. DIAMOND)
FRAN (explaining the cracked mirror in her compact): I like it that way. It makes me look
the way I feel. When you’re in love with a married man you shouldn’t wear mascara.
SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE
ERICA: So I can’t decide if… you hate me or if maybe you’re the only person who ever
got me.
HARRY: I don’t hate you.

REAL GENIUS
MITCH (reading from notes): There’s a mistake all right, but I think you guys made it.
Look, you inverted the last two steps.
CARTER (grabbing the notes): I don’t make mistakes… (reading)… Usually.

Question 53

Metaphoric or symbolic dialogue

Answer 53

Just like in narrative description, you can use metaphors in dialogue to symbolize
a character’s thought or emotion, rather than spell it out in an obvious way.

THE APARTMENT
SHELDRAKE (taking her hand): I want you back, Fran.
FRAN (withdrawing her hand): Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake - I’m full up. You’ll have to take
the next elevator.
—–
BUD: You know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe – shipwrecked among eight
million people. Then one day I saw a footprint in the sand – and there you were.
It’s a wonderful thing – dinner for two.

SIDEWAYS
JACK: No, see, I want both of us to get crazy. We should both be cutting loose. I mean,
this is our last chance. This is our week! It should be something we share.
The older waitress comes over.
WAITRESS: Can I take your order?
JACK: But I’m warning you.
MILES: Oatmeal, one poached egg, and rye toast. Dry.
WAITRESS: Okay. And you?
JACK (glaring at Miles): Pigs in a blanket. With extra syrup.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
SIMON: Do you still think I was exaggerating?
FRANK: Definitely a package you don’t want to open or touch.

BULL DURHAM
SKIP: Look, men–you got a choice. You wanta be roasting your nuts off for Midas Muffler
welding exhaust pipes up the assholes of Cadillacs… or– (beat) You wanta be sitting in
the Caddy while some other guy’s crawling around in a monkey suit with a blow torch?
(beat) There’s only two places you can be in life–in the Caddy or under it.

And look at this classic Billy Wilder scene from Double Indemnity. Note how
it avoids the clichés of pick up lines and typical seduction dialogue by using the
metaphors of cars, police officers, and speeding tickets:

NEFF: I wish you’d tell me what’s engraved on that anklet.
PHYLLIS: Just my name.
NEFF: As for instance?
PHYLLIS: Phyllis.
NEFF: Phyllis, huh. I think I like that.
PHYLLIS: But you’re not sure.
NEFF: I’d have to drive it around the block a couple of times.
PHYLLIS (standing up): Mr. Neff, why don’t you drop by tomorrow evening around 8:30?
He’ll be in then.
NEFF: Who?
PHYLLIS: My husband. You were anxious to talk to him, weren’t you?
NEFF: Yeah, I was. But I’m sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean.
PHYLLIS: There’s a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff, 45 miles an hour.
NEFF: How fast was I going, Officer?
PHYLLIS: I’d say around 90.
NEFF: Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
PHYLLIS: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
NEFF: Suppose it doesn’t take.
PHYLLIS: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles. NEFF: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.
PHYLLIS: Suppose you try putting it on my husband’s shoulder.
NEFF: That tears it…

Question 54

Physicalize the emotion

Answer 54

In another classic scene, this time from On the Waterfront (Budd Schulberg), Terry
and Edie walk through the park, exchanging small talk. As they walk, Edie
accidentally drops one of her white gloves. Terry picks it up and cleans it off,
but instead of immediately returning it, he holds it, and then puts it on his left
hand. This is a great example of physicalizing an emotion. In this case, putting
on the glove symbolizes his desire to get closer to her. This technique is similar
to “Action as response” except here, the character is not responding to anything,
simply physicalizing his emotion instead of verbalizing it on the nose. Here are
more examples:

THELMA AND LOUISE
THELMA: I guess you haven’t heard anything from Jimmy… yet?
Louise’s jaw tightens. The car speeds up.
THELMA: … never mind.
——
J.D.: Oh. I… where’s Louise?
THELMA: She’s off with Jimmy, that’s her boyfriend.
J.D.: That’s lonely for you, I guess. I always think of motel rooms as lonely.
Thelma pretends like she’s had a lot of experience with this sort of thing.
THELMA (letting him in the door): Oh, yes, well, they can be.

SIDEWAYS
Pursued by Jack, Miles dashes down the hill, all the while taking huge swigs from the
bottle.
Miles slows down to a walk between rows of grapevines. He polishes off the bottle and
tosses it. A panting Jack catches up with him in the adjacent grapevine corridor.
Miles’s face crumbles as though he were about to cry. Then he collapses to the
ground and closes his eyes tight.
——
A HAND-PRINTED SIGN, attached to a STOP SIGN and decorated with balloons, reads:
“RECEPTION THIS WAY!” with an arrow pointing RIGHT.
One by one, CARS are making a right turn. But when his turn comes, Miles turns LEFT.

Question 55

Answer a question with a question

Answer 55

This is a style of dialogue where a question is answered with a question. This
is often a defensive technique when someone has something to hide or simply
wants to play his cards close to the chest. It’s the reason this technique was often used in film noirs where the clichéd response to a detective’s inquiry was often
“Who wants to know?” or “What’s it to ya?” Here are more examples:

TOOTSIE (LARRY GELBART, DON MCGUIRE, MURRAY SCHISGAL)
RITA : I’d like to make her look a little more attractive. How far can you pull back?
CAMERAMAN: How do you feel about Cleveland?

CARNAL KNOWLEDGE (JULES PFEIFFER)
JONATHAN: When did you go to high school?
SUSAN: What are you doing this summer?
JONATHAN: Why do you answer a question with a question?
SUSAN: Why are you dating your best friend’s girlfriend?

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
Melvin walks back into the apartment and is about to close the door when Simon has
another burst of bravery.
SIMON: Did you… do something to him?
MELVIN: Do you realize that I work at home?
SIMON (eyes downcast): No, I didn’t.

Question 56

Reveal emotion through tempo

Answer 56

As you saw earlier, tempo is the speed of dialogue affected by the character’s
emotional condition. For instance, when composed, he speaks normally; when
angry, he speaks quickly, in short, jerky sentences; when happy, he speaks rapidly;
and when sad, he speaks slowly and hesitantly, stopping and starting again. This is
why contrasting tempos in a scene is a great way to individualize character voices.
Here, you don’t have to worry about contrast, just the tempo of a specific character whose emotion you want to convey. Once you figure out the emotion, you can
vary the speed of dialogue to evoke their feelings and attitudes without stating
them directly. In the following example from the TV show Gilmore Girls, Rory
conveys her anxiety and insecurity not only through the speed of her dialogue but
also the amount of words spoken in one clip:

DEAN: I’m Dean.
RORY: Hi. (beat, then realizing) Oh. Rory. Me. That’s… me.
DEAN: Rory.
RORY: Well, Lorelai technically.
DEAN: Lorelai. I like that.
He smiles at her. She’s melting.
RORY: It’s my mother’s name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying
in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time,
you know? So, why couldn’t women? Her feminism just took over. Although
personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into the decision. (beat) I never talk
this much.

Question 57

Reveal character traits and attitudes

Answer 57

Another way to add subtext to dialogue is to suggest a character’s personality
through his speech, since it’s implied rather than stated overtly by another
character. For instance, if you have a funny or sarcastic character, let the reader
figure out his traits through his dialogue, rather than have another character
say, “Gee, you’re a funny guy” or “Don’t need the sarcasm.” For more on this
technique, you may review the “Revealing attitudes and traits” section on page
202. When your characters talk, the reader should learn who they are.

Question 58

Scene context can provide the subtext

Answer 58

Method-acting teacher Sandford Meisner had an exercise where two actors would
sit face to face and speak four or more lines of trivial dialogue. The dialogue had to
remain the same boring, insignificant chitchat. What changed each time was the
context of the scene—what each of the characters felt toward each other, or just
experienced before the scene started. Were they attracted to each other? Did they
hate each other? Did one want to get money from the other, or hurt them? With
each context, the same lines of “average” dialogue suddenly took on different
meanings, each context giving a line a new subtext. Look at these examples and
note how the simple words, “I hate you” take on a different meaning each time
the context of the scene and the character’s emotions change:

A grieving husband yells it at his dead wife:

HUSBAND: I hate you…
He breaks downs in tears.
An aspiring actress to her screen idol, who just won an Oscar:
ACTRESS: I hate you…
She smiles.

At the climax of When Harry Met Sally:
SALLY (almost in tears): I hate you, Harry… I hate you.
They kiss.

Question 59

Silences

Answer 59

The “Less is more” principle discussed in the previous chapter is equally applicable with dialogue. Pick your cliché—Silence is golden, silence speaks louder than words,
a silent moment can be deafening. The bottom line is that silence can be quite effective
is conveying a particular thought or emotion without resorting to on-the-nose
dialogue. Whether the silence is involuntary due to overwhelming emotion, or
calculated to ignore a comment or question, it evokes an emotional response in
the reader, as these examples show:

THELMA AND LOUISE
LOUISE: It won’t work.
THELMA: Why not?!
LOUISE: No physical evidence. We can’t prove he did it. We probably can’t even prove
he touched you by now.
They both pause for a moment.
THELMA: God. The law is some tricky shit, isn’t it?
Then:
THELMA: How do you know ‘bout all this stuff anyway?
Louise doesn’t answer the question.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
ANDY: I’m done. It stops right now. Get H&R Block to declare your income.
Norton lunges to his feet, eyes sparkling with rage.
NORTON: Nothing stops! NOTHING! Or you will do the hardest time there is. No more
protection from the guards. I’ll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and put you in with the
biggest bull queer I can find. You’ll think you got fucked by a train! And the library? Gone!
Sealed off brick by brick! We’ll have us a little book-barbecue in the yard! They’ll see the
flames for miles! We’ll dance around it like wild Indians! Do you understand me? Are you
catching my drift?
SLOW PUSH IN on Andy’s face. Eyes hollow. His beaten expression says it all…