Development of Self and Peer Relationships Flashcards
What does it mean to have a self?
- Implicit self: Sense that one has a body that can experience and act
on the world and that this body is separate from the world - Present from birth as evidenced by rooting reflex
- Self-concept: An organized set of beliefs about oneself
- Answers to the question “Who am I?”
– Includes personality traits, physical characteristics, abilities, values, and roles - Rudimentary self-concept emerges around 18 months as evidenced by
children passing rouge test
– Children also start using “me” pronoun and calling themselves by name around this age
Self-Concept is a Social Construction
* Children’s self-concept develops primarily by internalizing others’ perceptions of them
- Direct: caregiver describes a child a certain way and the child
incorporates that description into their self-concept
– E.g., being told they’re good at math
- Indirect: how children are treated
– E.g. caregiving experiences shape internal working models
Gender socialization
Self-Concept in Toddlers
* Gender is usually first characteristic present in children’s self-concept
and is central to their sense of self
* 2.5 – 3 years old: form basic gender identity
- Start identifying as boy or girl and can label others as boys or girls
Gender Socialization
* Process through which children learn about the social expectations,
attitudes, and behaviours associated with girls and boys by internalizing the
messages received about gender from caregivers and wider society
* Starts remarkably early!
- Parents of day-old infants describe newborn girls as softer, less strong, more
delicate, and quieter than newborn boys
* Not due to infants’ behaviour as indicated by Baby X studies
- Studies in which researchers label the same infant as a “boy” or a “girl” and then
observe how adults interact with the infant - Infants labelled as “boys” rated as bigger, stronger, louder and more likely to be
encouraged to be active
- Infants labelled as “girls” received more talk and nurturance
More Subtle Gender Socialization
* Study: How does gender shape parents’ expectations about motor
skills?
* Method:
- Parents of 11-month-olds estimated the
steepest slope their infants could safely
crawl down without falling by setting the
angle on a mechanical sloping walkway
- Infants then tested on their actual crawling skills down slopes of different angles
Results:
* Parents of girls tended to underestimate their infant’s crawling abilitybut parents of boys more accurately estimated their ability
* When tested on their actual skills, boys and girls did not differ on theslopes they could safely crawl down
* Suggests that gender differences in motor skills only exist in parent’s
perception
More Subtle Gender Socialization
* Play
- Parents present boys with more physical challenges than girls
- More likely to offer girls more help
* Language differences
- Parents are more likely to use emotion words with girls than boys in early childhood
- Emotion understanding thus develops earlier in girls
* Toy purchases
- Boys have more toy trucks and girls have 5x more pink toys by 12-months-old
* Division of household chores
- Homes in which parents take on more traditional gender roles in completing chores are communicating gender roles
* Media exposure
- More TV viewing by preschoolers associated with them more likely saying that people see “boys as better than girls”
Self-Socialization
- Once a child identifies with a gender, they actively seek out gender related information and conform their behaviour to this info
- Highlights children’s own role in their gender development
- 3-5 year olds: rigid, gender-stereotyped behaviours
- Preference for toys and clothes that are consistent with gender
identity - Preference for same-gender playmates
- Cross-cultural
- Due to lack of gender constancy
– Understanding that gender remains the same regardless of superficial changes to
appearance or behaviour - 6 years old: Rigid, gendered behaviour relaxes because gender
constancy is achieved - Accept more non-gendered appearance and toy preferences in
themselves and others - BUT as children get older, they acquire more complex ideas and
expectations about gender that include traits, roles, abilities, etc. - Incorporate these into their self-concepts and adjust their behaviour
accordingly - E.g., girls are quiet and well-behaved; boys are active and good at sports
Implications of Gender Identity
- Gender is a central characteristic that organizes children’s self-concepts
- Adherence to gender stereotypes can unnecessarily limit children’s
development in educational aspirations, social development, and emotional
expression - Extent to which a child behaves in gender-consistent ways is associated
with level of peer acceptance - Even though children increase their gender flexibility with age, they tend to
reject peers who do not behave in typically gendered ways - Greater engagement with peers of same gender is powerful way that gender
stereotypes and identities are reinforced
Towards Gender Neutrality
* When parents have more egalitarian views and behaviours, children
tend to have less traditional gender-role attitudes
* Gender neutral parenting: conscious parenting practice to
encourage children to explore and express themselves in a way that
is not defined by traditional gender roles
- Common in WEIRD countries
- E.g., not enforcing gender-specific colours, avoiding gender-specific
language, encouraging all activities
Gender Development in Cis vs. Transgender Children
- Sex: assigned at birth usually based on external genitalia
- Cisgender children: Children who identify with their assigned sex
- Transgender children: Children who don’t identity with their assigned sex
- Study: Comparison of gender development of transgender and
cisgender children - Method:
- 317 transgender children, ages 3 – 12, who had socially transitioned
(outward appearance and pronoun use consistent with gender identity) - 316 age and gender matched cisgender children
- 189 cisgender siblings of the transgender children
- Reported on strength of gender identity and gender-stereotyped
preferences
*Results: - Transgender children show strong identification and preferences
aligned with current gender in a way that is very similar to cisgender
children
Implications
* Transgender children’s gender development follows similar patterns to cisgender children’s development
* Lack of differences between siblings and controls suggests that there
is nothing unique about the home gender socialization of
transgender children
- i.e. parents are not socializing transgender identity
* Self-socialization plays a strong role in gender identity
- Suggests that there is something internal about gender identity, not just
a result of socialization
- Children, from an early age, may be selectively attending to broader
societal messages regarding the gender they feel they are
Self-concept in childhood (early, middle and adolescence)
Self-Concept in Early Childhood
* 3-4 years old
* Gender is central to self-concept
* Concrete, observable characteristics that tend to focus on physical
attributes and physical activities
* Unrealistically positive and confident
- Result of cognitive limitations
Example of Self-Concept in Early Childhood:
* I’m 3 years old, I’m a boy, and my name is Jason. I live with my
mommy and daddy who really love me. My mommy makes me
yummy spaghetti! I am going to get my own baby sister for
Christmas! I have blue eyes and a kitty that is orange and a television
in my own room, it’s all mine! I know all of my ABC’s, listen: A, B, C, D,
E, F, G, H, J, L, K, O, P, Q, R, X, Y, Z. I can run real fast. I can kick a soccer
ball real far, all the way from one end of the field to the other. I’m
really strong. I can lift this chair, watch me!
Self-Concept in Middle Childhood
* 7-12 years old
* Describe self using personality traits and inner qualities
- E.g. “I’m shy”
* Self-concept is more balanced and accurate
- Includes weakness but still positive overall
* Changes in self-concept from early childhood due to:
- Increased cognitive ability to use higher-order concepts and to think
about multiple qualities simultaneously
- Greater engagement in social comparison and more strongly influenced
by the opinions of others
Example Self-Concept in Middle Childhood* “I’m in fourth grade this year. It’s a little tougher than when I was
younger, in the “baby” grades. I’m pretty popular, at least with the
girls who I spend time with, but not with the super-popular girls who
think they are cooler than everybody else. With my friends, I know
what it takes to be liked, so I’m nice to people and helpful and can
keep secrets…. At school, I’m feeling pretty smart in certain subjects
like language arts and social studies, someday I will probably get a job
that depends on having good English skills…. But I’m feeling pretty
dumb in math and science, especially when I see how well a lot of the
other kids are doing”
Self-Concept in Adolescence
* 13-18 years old
* Can think of themselves in increasingly abstract ways
- “I’m extroverted, because I’m talkative, friendly, and energetic.”
* But also…
* More intense concerns about social acceptance which heavily influence selfconcept
* Egocentrism:
- Especially in early-mid adolescence
- Assume that their thoughts and feelings are more unique than they really are
– “You don’t understand me!”
- Imaginary audience: belief that everyone is very focused on their appearance
and behaviour
* Aware of differences in behaviour in different social settings leading to
confusion and many questions about identity
Example of Self-Concept in Younger
Adolescent
* “What am I like as a person? You’re probably not going to
understand. I’m complicated! With my really close friends, I am very
tolerant, I mean I’m understanding and caring. With a group of
friends I’m rowdier. I’m also usually friendly and cheerful, but I can be
pretty obnoxious and intolerant if I don’t like how they’re acting…. I
really don’t understand how I can switch so fast from being cheerful
with my friends, then coming home and feeling anxious, and then
getting frustrated and sarcastic with my parents. Which one is the
real me?”
Example Self-Concept in Older Adolescent
* I’m an extrovert with my friends: I’m talkative, cheerful, and funny. My
friends really like me. So I like myself a lot when I’m around my friends
but not so much when I’m with my mom and dad…. I spend a lot of
time worrying about what other people think of me…. In school, it
seems like I’m pretty intelligent, because I feel smart and sometimes
creative…. Socially, I can be a real introvert around people I don’t know
well…. I shouldn’t be phony and act like I’m somebody else. But
sometimes you have to because it’s very important to seem as if you
really like yourself, it’s a big deal to show that you have high selfesteem.
Forming an identity
Forming an Identity
* Forming an identity is the primary psychosocial task of adolescence/
early adulthood
* Identity is formed through a process of:
- Exploration: questioning of parental and societal values and
experimenting with various facets of identity
– Including appearance, hobbies, traits, friends, courses, etc.
- Commitment: consolidation and acceptance of who one is as indicated
by the choices one makes
Marcia’s Identity Statuses
* Typical trajectory: diffusion moratorium / foreclosure achievement
1. No exploration + No commitment = identity diffusion
2a.Yes exploration + No commitment = moratorium
/
2b. No exploration + Yes commitment = foreclosure
3. Yes exploration + Yes commitment = identity achivement
- Identity diffusion: lack of exploration of options and no
commitments made - Due to lack of interest in own identity or indecision
- Common in children
- If persists into late adolescence/adulthood, associated with feeling
disconnected, being easily influenced by others, and little sense of
purpose - Moratorium: active exploration of various roles but no commitments yet
- Brought about by awareness of multiple selves and exposure to different identity
options - Feelings of confusion and anxiety are normal at this status
- Necessary for identity achievement
- Foreclosure: commitment to a life path without having explored alternatives
- Due to:
- Parents making decisions for teen without their input
- Teen strongly identifies with a parent and wishes to follow in their footsteps
- More likely in obedient children and authoritarian parenting
- Potential problems:
- Committed to an identity that is not a good fit for their authentic self
- Commitment is less strong
- Most teens are in moratorium or foreclosure
- Identity achievement: completed phase of exploration and
commitment to an internally driven identity - Associated with most positive mental health and social outcomes
- Usually achieved in early adulthood
- Biggest gains in identity are in university due to greater exposure to
different lifestyles, beliefs, and career options
Criticisms of Marcia’s Identity Status Theory
* Research into identity statuses conducted in WEIRD samples
- Typical progression and outcomes may differ in non-WEIRD societies
* Identity development is a continuous process, not limited to
adolescence
- Life events in adulthood can restart the process
- E.g., losing a job
Summary of Development of Self
- Gender is a central characteristic that shapes children’s self-concepts
and level of peer acceptance - 2.5 – 3 years old: form basic gender identity
- Gender identity is formed through gender socialization and self-socialization
- Children’s self-concepts become more abstract and more balanced,
as they age and are increasingly shaped by interactions with peers - Central task of adolescence is developing an identity
- 4 identity statuses: diffused, moratorium, foreclosure, achieved
- Status has consequences for psychological and social functioning
What is play?
Play
* Voluntary activities done for inherent enjoyment
* Play looks different depending on a child’s age
Non-Social Play
* Play that doesn’t involve the participation of peers
1. Unoccupied play: child briefly watches things around them, but nothing holds their attention for long
- Birth – 3 months
2. Solitary play: child is focused on their own activity
and is uninterested in playing with others
- 3 months – 2 years old
3. Onlooker play: child watches other children’s play
- May ask questions, but won’t join in
- Begins around 2 years old
Social Play
* Play that involves participation of peers
* Parallel play: children play next to each other, possibly doing the same activity, but do not interact much
- Begins between in 2-3 years olds
* Associative play: children play together, engaging
sometimes, but have different goals
- Begins between 3-4 years olds
* Cooperative play: children play together and are working
towards a common goal
- Begins 4+ years old
* Progression onto more advanced forms of play doesn’t
mean that children no longer engage in less advanced form
of play
Play is Critical for Learning
* Social-emotional development
- Learn to cooperate
- Develop theory of mind
* Cognitive development
-Practice problem-solving
- Learning about the world through trial and error
- Develop language skills
* Motor development
- Unoccupied play fosters motor skills
Importance of Play
* UN recognizes child’s right “to engage in play and recreational
activities appropriate to the age of the child”
How Grown-Ups Interfere with Play
* Study: How does teaching affect exploratory play?
* Method: 4-6 year olds shown a toy with many plastic tubes
* 2 experimental groups:
- Accident: Adult accidentally bumped into tube, making it
squeak
- Teaching: Adult showed the child that the tube squeaks
* How does the child play with the toy?
*Results:
* Children played longer and tried more different actions when the
experimenter squeaked the toy accidentally
* Teaching discouraged the children from discovery during play
Implications
* Letting children play spontaneously allows them to learn
* Adults can best support play (and learning) by following children’s
lead so that a child can build knowledge themselves
Development of
Friendships
Friend
* A person that’s not a relative with whom an individual has an
intimate, reciprocated, and positive relationship
Children’s Choice of Friends
* Most important factors in children’s friendships:
1. Similarity
* Age
* Acceptance by peers
* Personality (e.g. cooperativeness, shyness)
* Level of negative emotions
* Academic motivation
2. Proximity
* Live in same neighbourhood
* Go to same school
* Participate in same extracurricular activities
Gender and Choice of Friends
* More likely to be friends with kids of the
same gender
- This preference emerges around 3
years of age
- Peaks around age 13
* Age 13: Time with different gender
friends increases, especially for girls
Developmental Trajectory of Friendships
* 1-2 years old:
- Show preference of some children over others
– Touch them more often
– Smile more at them
* 2-3 years old:
- Developing more complex social behaviours
– E.g., imitating peers’ behaviours, cooperative problem solving,
turn taking
– Emergence of parallel play
* 3-5 years old: Kids have a concept of friendship
- Most kids have at least one friend
- Friendship defined as playing together
– Best friend = peer a child plays with most
- But friends also have more conflict than non-friends
– More likely to cooperate to resolve conflict than nonfriends
- Emergence of preference for same gender peers (3-4 years of age)
* 6-8 years old: Define friendship on basis of shared activities with
peers
- E.g. “He’s my friend because we both like to play soccer.”
* 9 years old-12 years old: Definition of friendship expands to include
trust, care, and help
* Adolescence: Friendship primarily defined by self-disclosure and
intimacy
- Friendship takes on central importance
- Age 13: start having more friends of different genders
Girls’ vs. Boys’ Friendships
* As children get older, gender differences emerge in what they want
out of friendship
* Girls (vs. boys):
- Desire more closeness and dependency in friendships
- But comes with more worrying and stress about friendships
* Girls and boys show similar levels of conflict and stability in
friendships
Peer Status and
Implications of Friends
Sociometric Status
* Sociometric status: degree to which children are liked vs. disliked by
peers
* Measured by having children anonymously nominate peers in their class
that they like (positive nominations) and peers in their class that they
dislike (negative nominations)
* Each child is classified into one of 5 status groups:
- Popular
- Rejected
- Average
- Neglected
- Controversial
Popular Kids
* 11% of kids
* Liked by many peers and disliked by few
* Tend to be:
- Socially skilled
- Good emotion-regulation skills
- Assertive, but not aggressive
* Tend to have factors that give them high status
- Attractive, athletic, have popular friends
Rejected Kids
* 13% of kids
* Liked by few peers and disliked by many
* Tend to have fewer positive social skills compared
to peers
Rejected-aggressive
* 40-50% of rejected kids
* Tend to show high levels of hostility,
threatening behaviour, physical
aggression, and delinquency
Rejected-withdrawn
* 10-25% of rejected kids
* Tend to be socially withdrawn,
timid, and socially anxious
* Frequently victimized and feel
lonely, isolated, depressed
Controversial Kids
* 7% of kids
* Liked by many but also disliked by many
* Characteristics of rejected-aggressive and popular
kids
- Aggressive, disruptive, and prone to anger
- Compensate for this with many positive social skills
like being cooperative, sociable, and funny
Neglected Kids
* 9% of kids
* Don’t receive many nominations
- Not liked or dislike
- Neutral/ not noticed
* Less social and less disruptive than average
children
* But not at risk for negative outcomes
- Simply prefer solitary activities
- Can be socially skilled in more structured activities
Average Kids
* 60% of kids
* Moderate number of likes and dislikes
* More social than rejected and neglected kids, but
not as social as popular and controversial kids
Stability of Sociometric Status
* Short-term (a few weeks – a few months):
- Neglected or controversial children are likely to change status
- Popular, rejected, and average children tend to remain so
* Long-term (years):
* Sociometric status more likely to change
- Average and rejected status most stable
Importance of Friendship
Provides social validation and support
* Especially important during transitions
* Kids tend to rely more on friends than parents starting in adolescence
* Chronic friendlessness is associated with increased loneliness and
depression
* Friendship buffers against negative experiences
Friends Buffer Against Negative Experiences
* Study: 10-11 year olds reported on their negative experiences over the
course of 4 days
* After each experience, indicated:
- Self-worth: how they felt about themselves
- Whether best friend was present or not
* Measured salivary cortisol as an indicator of stress reaction
Results:
* If best friend was not present, more negative experiences associated
with increased cortisol and lower self-worth
* But not if best friend was present
Fosters development of positive social skills
* Builds cooperation, theory of mind, conflict resolution skills
* Gossip allows children to learn about social norms
* Childhood friendships are “practice” for adult relationships
Friendship Shapes Early Adult Attachment
* Study: How does friendship quality shape early adult attachment?
* Method: Used data from SECCYD
* Longitudinal study of 707 participants from childhood to age 18
* Assessed:
- Quality of caregiving experiences at age 15 months, 24 months, 36
months, 54 months and each year Grade 1-6
- Child’s social competence assessed by parents and teachers each year
Grade 1-6
- Self-reported best friendship quality in Grade 3, 4, 5, and 6
- Attachment avoidance and anxiety at age 18
Results:
* Results: Less supportive parenting, lower social competence, and
lower quality friendships across childhood predicted more adult
attachment insecurity
* Avoidance at age 18 predicted by:
- Lower maternal sensitivity (-0.20)
- Higher maternal depression (0.14)
- Lower social competence in childhood (-0.39)
- Best friendship quality (-0.30)
* Anxiety at age 18 predicted by:
- Higher maternal depression (0.17)
- Lower social competence in childhood (-0.23)
- Best friendship quality (-0.15)
* Effect of social skills and friendship experiences on adult attachment is similar to (if not larger) to effect of caregiving experiences
Longitudinal Benefits of Childhood
Friendships
* Study: Friendship assessed at age 10 and then follow-up at age 22
* At age 10, kids who had a best friend (vs. those that didn’t) were seen as:
- Less aggressive
- More popular/ well-liked
* At age 22, those that had a best friend at age 10:
- Were more successful in university
- Had better family and social lives
- Had high self-esteem and less anxiety & depression
* Shows that having a close friendship in childhood has both short-term and long-term benefits for social and psychological well-being
Implications of Being Rejected
* Rejected, especially aggressive-rejected, status in childhood is
associated with a variety of negative outcomes :
* More aggression
* Delinquency in teens
* Substance abuse
* Continued unhealthy relationships into adolescence and adulthood
* Low self-esteem
* Less education and limited work success
* Crime in adulthood
Falling in With the Wrong Crowd
* Deviancy training: negative peer pressure wherein peers model and
reinforce aggression and deviance by making these behaviours seem
acceptable
- Kids that have aggressive/ delinquent friends are more likely to also
become more aggressive and delinquent themselves
- Similar effect with alcohol and drug use
- Can begin as early as age 5
* But also selection effect:
- Children choose peers that are similar to
them
- Implies that kids choose and contribute to
“the wrong crowd”
Improving Peer
Acceptance
The Role of Parents
* Parents can shape their children’s peer relationships in a positive way
using two strategies:
1. Monitoring: parents decide whom children interact with and how
much time they spend doing particular activities
- Looks different depending on the age of the child but matters at all ages
2. Emotion coaching: parents teach kids how to effectively manage
emotions to interact with peers and handle conflict
* The more age-appropriate monitoring + coaching, the more kids are
socially competent and liked by peers
School Interventions
* School interventions aim to improve children’s peer
relationships by enhancing their emotional
development
- Example: Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies
(PATHS)
- Aim to change how rejected children interact with
peers
PATHS
* Kids ages 4- 11
* Learn:
- to identify emotional expressions
- to think about the causes and consequences of
different ways of expressing emotions
- strategies for self-regulation
PATHS Outcomes
* Children that participate in PATHS (vs. control) show:
- Improved emotion understanding and regulation
- Increased social problem-solving
- Decreased externalizing behaviour (aggression, acting out)
- Decreased depression
Summary
- Children tend to have friends that are similar to them and in close proximity
- As children get older, they define friendship in different ways moving from
defining friendship based on activities in early childhood to based on self-disclosure in adolescence - 5 sociometric status groups: popular, rejected, neglected, controversial,
average - Sociometric status is associated with different behavioural profiles
- Friendship is important for kids’ emotional and social development
- Friendship can be associated with negative outcomes through deviancy
training and selection effects - Parents’ monitoring and coaching and school interventions can help
improve peer acceptance
