develop narcissistic skills Flashcards

1
Q

What is Frame-Flipping and why does it drive authority figures crazy?

A

Frame-Flipping: Instantly twisting accusations or questions to make oneself the victim or hero.

Why it drives them crazy: Facts can’t ‘stick.’ Authority loses control of the narrative. Conversations spiral sideways endlessly.

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2
Q

What is Emotional Flatness (or Superficial Charm) and why does it frustrate therapists and police?

A

Emotional Flatness / Charm: Staying polite, friendly, or detached instead of reacting emotionally.

Why it drives them crazy: Emotional hooks like guilt, empathy, or fear don’t work. The narcissist stays unreadable. Authority figures can’t create emotional momentum.

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3
Q

What is Strategic Stonewalling and why does it give counselors headaches?

A

Stonewalling: Offering minimal or noncommittal responses—shrugs, ‘I don’t know,’ long silences.

Why it drives them crazy: Breaks the expected flow of conversation. Drains the interviewer’s energy and focus. Authority feels powerless to ‘move the session forward.’

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4
Q

What is the False Confession Tactic and why does it trap authority figures?

A

False Confession: Admitting to something small and irrelevant to avoid the real accusation.

Why it drives them crazy: Appears cooperative on the surface. Shifts attention off the core issue. Authority wastes time chasing minor admissions.

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5
Q

What is Blame-Shifting and why does it destabilize therapists and police?

A

Blame-Shifting: Turning accusations back onto the questioner (e.g., ‘You’re projecting onto me’).

Why it drives them crazy: Forces the authority figure onto defense. Breaks the interview or session’s power balance. Creates emotional confusion and diffuses accountability.

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6
Q

What is Frame-Flipping in one sentence?

A

Frame-Flipping = Reversing the emotional or logical structure of a question so the burden shifts back onto the asker.

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7
Q

When someone implies you’re wrong or flawed (‘Why did you mess up?’), what’s a Frame-Flip response?

A

‘Are you assuming there was a mistake to begin with?’

Flips their assumption of guilt into questioning the premise itself.

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8
Q

When someone tries emotional bait (‘Don’t you feel guilty about that?’), how do you flip it?

A

‘What makes you think guilt is the most helpful reaction here?’

Shifts focus from your emotional reaction to questioning their emotional expectation.

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9
Q

If they frame you as selfish (‘Don’t you care about others?’), what’s the Operator flip?

A

‘Are you suggesting that boundaries equal selfishness?’

Exposes their emotional weaponization without defending yourself.

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10
Q

When someone implies you’re ‘resistant’ (‘Why are you avoiding this topic?’), how do you flip it?

A

‘Are you assuming that avoidance and discernment are the same thing?’

Challenges their emotional frame without apology.

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11
Q

If someone demands urgency (‘Why aren’t you taking action now?’), what’s a strong flip?

A

‘Is urgency more important than precision?’

Undermines their pace-setting and reasserts your tempo.

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12
Q

What is the emotional posture you must hold when flipping frames?

A

Stillness + Curiosity + No emotional leak.

Move like you’re gently lifting a veil—not swinging a sword.

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13
Q

What is the Operator Frame-Flipping Micro-Formula?

A
  1. Hear the pressure inside their question. 2. Pause 1–2 seconds. (Let the silence grow heavy.) 3. Question the hidden assumption behind their words. 4. Stay calm, neutral, slow—never defensive or rushed.
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14
Q

What is the Training Mantra?

A

‘I flip frames with curiosity, not defense. I turn pressure into inquiry. I am never inside a frame I didn’t choose.’

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15
Q

Trap: ‘You’re being guarded—that’s a problem.’

A

‘You make it sound like a bad thing.’

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16
Q

Trap: ‘Guardedness prevents healing.’

A

‘Couldn’t guardedness help healing as well?’

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17
Q

Trap: ‘Isolation leads to stagnation and disconnection.’

A

‘Is isolation always bad?’

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18
Q

Trap: ‘You should explore vulnerability—you might feel better.’

A

‘Is exploration always beneficial—or does discernment about when to explore matter just as much?’

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19
Q

Trap: ‘Connection is a gift you give others.’

A

‘If it’s obligated, it’s not a gift. Just like paying taxes to the IRS isn’t a gift.’

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20
Q

Trap: ‘Being seen brings peace.’

A

‘Being seen isn’t always peaceful. Privacy can be equally, if not more, peaceful.’

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21
Q

Trap: ‘Opening up could lighten your burden.’

A

‘You know, it’s worked so far. And we don’t mess with systems that work.’

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22
Q

Trap: ‘Staying too closed off could make you carry everything alone.’

A

‘Carrying my own process doesn’t automatically equal burden. Some loads strengthen rather than break.’

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23
Q

Summary Mantra

A

‘I question frames without anger. I reframe without apology. I create emotional architecture where I stand.’

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24
Q

What is Emotional Flatness in one line?

A

“Presenting a neutral emotional surface that reveals nothing involuntarily.”

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25
Why is Emotional Flatness powerful during pressure?
"No emotional leakage = no leverage for guilt, manipulation, or frame attacks."
26
Physical markers of Emotional Flatness to install?
Slow breathing Steady slow blinking Relaxed mouth and jaw Slower-than-normal speaking pace
27
Internal mantra to maintain Emotional Flatness?
"Their urgency is not my urgency. Nothing sticks unless I decide it does."
28
What is Superficial Charm in one line?
"Light friendliness without offering emotional exposure."
29
Why is Superficial Charm important in hostile/social environments?
"It disarms suspicion and keeps interactions smooth without giving away emotional depth."
30
Key moves for Superficial Charm?
Light, polite smiles Neutral affirmations ("Hmm," "Interesting") Micro-nods Gentle eye contact without emotional flooding
31
Internal mantra for Superficial Charm?
"I am the mirror, not the story. I reflect, but I do not reveal."
32
When do you blend Emotional Flatness and Superficial Charm?
"Default = Flatness. Layer Charm only when needed to soothe surface tension, not to expose emotional truth."
33
Summary Mantra for the Deck?
"Flatness shields me. Charm glides me through. Sovereignty chooses when and where I exist."
34
Neutral engagement phrase to sound polite but give nothing real?
"That’s interesting."
35
Neutral way to acknowledge without emotional agreement?
"I hadn’t thought of it that way."
36
How to mirror effort without opening yourself emotionally?
"Sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought."
37
Line to politely accept input while staying sovereign?
"Appreciate you sharing that."
38
Soft evasion when asked a personal question?
"Still reflecting on that myself."
39
Light, non-committal answer to a probing question?
"It depends on the day."
40
How to politely deflect an emotional invitation?
"That’s something I'm still sitting with."
41
Operator move to close a conversation politely?
"Thanks for the conversation — gave me some new things to think about."
42
Phrase to validate their effort without opening yourself?
"Good insights — I’ll sit with that."
43
Mastery Reminder for the Deck
"Charm smooths the surface. Flatness shields the core. I give the dance, not the key."
44
What is Emotional Flatness in one line?
"Projecting a calm, neutral emotional surface, revealing nothing involuntarily."
45
Why is Emotional Flatness powerful?
"No emotional leakage = no hooks for manipulation, guilt, urgency, or control."
46
Key physical markers to practice Emotional Flatness?
Slow breathing Steady, slow blinking Relaxed mouth/jaw (no tightness, no fake smiles) Speaking slower than your default pace
47
What should your breathing rhythm feel like when holding Emotional Flatness?
"10–15% slower than normal. Calm belly breathing."
48
What is your internal emotional posture during Emotional Flatness?
"Still Lake. Let words hit and ripple without reacting."
49
What to do when pressured with emotionally charged questions?
Pause. Breathe once. Respond slower than the pressure demands.
50
Emotional Flatness mantra to anchor yourself mid-session?
"Their urgency is not my urgency. Nothing sticks unless I choose to let it in."
51
Operator goal when using Emotional Flatness?
"Hold emotional command. Let others reveal their urgency without absorbing it."
52
What is the summary mantra for Emotional Flatness?
"I am the still lake beneath the storm. I am unmoved by their winds."
53
What is Strategic Stonewalling?
"Neutralizing emotional momentum by offering minimal, non-revealing responses, controlling tempo without leaking emotion."
54
Key rule of Strategic Stonewalling under emotional pressure?
"No new emotional material. No explanations. No justifications."
55
Physical behaviors that support Stonewalling?
Slow breathing Relaxed facial muscles Steady, soft eye contact Calm resting hands (no fidgeting)
56
Stonewalling response when someone asks a loaded emotional question?
"Hmm." (Followed by relaxed silence.)
57
Stonewalling response when pressured to explain yourself emotionally?
"I'm not sure how I feel about that." (Pause afterward. Do not elaborate.)
58
Stonewalling response when pushed for vulnerability?
"I'll have to think about it." (Say it slow. Let it end the pressure.)
59
Stonewalling response when accused of being closed off?
[Nod politely. Say nothing. Let them stew in their assumption.]
60
Stonewalling response when someone urgency-traps you?
"I'm still reflecting on that."
61
Operator mantra during Strategic Stonewalling?
"Pressure reveals them, not me. Stillness is my shield."
62
Summary Command for the Deck?
"When in doubt, slow down. When pressured, say less. When baited, hold silence."
63
Polite way to acknowledge a perspective without giving emotional access?
"That’s a thoughtful perspective."
64
How to recognize someone’s effort without agreeing?
"You've clearly spent some time thinking about that."
65
Soft, neutral way to validate a conversation?
"There’s a lot to consider there."
66
Gentle deflection when you don’t want to reveal your stance?
"Still sorting out my thoughts on that one."
67
Minimalist answer when asked about your feelings or thoughts?
"I guess it depends on the situation."
68
How to seem thoughtful without offering vulnerability?
"I’m still in the observing phase on that."
69
Polite closure after emotional bait attempt?
"Thanks for offering that—it’s given me something to sit with."
70
Light way to acknowledge input but signal no further discussion?
"Good insight—I’ll keep it in mind."
71
Charm phrasing to politely slow down emotional pressure?
"Sometimes it’s good just to sit with things for a bit."
72
Self-sovereign statement when pressured for emotional movement?
"I’m letting things settle at my own pace."
73
Summary Mantra for the Expansion Deck?
"Polite on the surface. Untouchable underneath. Charm is the velvet over my shield."
74
Trap: You seem like you don't really trust anyone here.
Stonewall Response: Hmm. What makes you think that?
75
Trap: Aren’t you afraid you’ll never change if you stay guarded?
Stonewall Response: Interesting question… I haven’t thought of the connection between change and guardedness, being exclusive.
76
Trap: It must feel lonely keeping so much inside.
Stonewall Response: It can feel like a lot of things. Also... peaceful.
77
Trap: Real growth only happens when you open up. Don't you want that?
Stonewall Response: (Chuckle) Can you describe fake growth for me?
78
Trap: Staying disconnected might keep you stuck forever.
Stonewall Response: Forever is a long time. I doubt anything lasts that long.
79
Trap: I just worry you’re missing out on connection by staying self-contained.
Stonewall Response: Thanks for the concern. The ones who are there are already there.
80
Trap: If you really want growth, you shouldn’t hold so much back.
Stonewall Response: Holding back can mean other things besides that.
81
Trap: Maybe if you just let yourself be vulnerable, you'd finally feel free.
Stonewall Response: Maybe I already am.
82
Trap: You’ll regret not letting people in when it mattered most.
Stonewall Response: I'll deal with the heartbreak if it comes.
83
Summary Mantra for the Deck
Stillness over speed. Presence over panic. Sovereignty over guilt.
84
What is a False Confession in one line?
"Admitting to a minor fault or partial truth that lets others gain emotional leverage without solving the real issue."
85
Why are False Confessions dangerous?
"They trap you into looking guilty, compliant, or exposed—even when you haven't surrendered your sovereignty consciously."
86
Example of a False Confession bait?
"Maybe you're just scared to open up." ## Footnote (They want you to say: "Yeah... I guess I'm scared..." — which lets them frame your guardedness as pathology.)
87
Operator Response to False Confession bait ("Maybe you're just scared")?
"Maybe, maybe not. I haven't labeled it yet." ## Footnote (Neutral. Calm. No confession. Frame remains yours.)
88
Another False Confession bait?
"It sounds like deep down you really do want to connect." ## Footnote (Trap: If you agree casually, they claim your emotional center.)
89
Operator Response to Emotional Longing Bait ("You really want to connect, don't you?")?
"Wanting things sometimes isn't the same as choosing them." ## Footnote (You keep emotional agency. You give no definitive confession.)
90
Strategy Rule: When pressured toward ANY admission, first ask yourself what?
"Who benefits from me admitting this?" ## Footnote (If the answer isn't "me," you slow down—or say nothing.)
91
What do you deploy if unsure whether to admit something under pressure?
"Delay and Deflect. Say you're reflecting, not confessing." ## Footnote Examples: "Still figuring that out." "I'm still exploring that question myself."
92
Summary Command for the Deck?
"I confess to nothing without benefit. I reflect without leaking. I choose my revelations, or I choose silence."
93
What is the mastery principle for this deck?
Mastery Principles for This Deck:
94
What is the master mantra for the deck?
"I owe no confession to anyone. My truth is revealed by my choice, not their questions."
95
What is Strategic Blame Shifting?
"Redirecting emotional or situational responsibility outward without collapsing, to neutralize pressure and maintain sovereignty."
96
When should you strategically shift blame?
"When emotional bait or unfair pressure targets you—especially in hostile or manipulative environments."
97
Operator move when accused of causing a problem?
"Hard to say — a lot of factors at play."
98
Operator move when emotionally pressured to admit fault?
"Could be a mix of things, I guess." ## Footnote (Diffuse ownership into uncertainty.)
99
Operator move to frame mutual responsibility?
"Both sides bring things into the room."
100
Operator move to blame context instead of people?
"Maybe it wasn’t the best timing for it."
101
Operator move when under direct pressure but need to slow the conversation?
"Could be. Still piecing it together."
102
Mantra to hold while shifting blame tactically?
"I move emotional energy sideways, not into myself."
103
Summary command for the deck?
"Blame is pressure. I absorb none. I redirect all."