develop narcissistic skills Flashcards
What is Frame-Flipping and why does it drive authority figures crazy?
Frame-Flipping: Instantly twisting accusations or questions to make oneself the victim or hero.
Why it drives them crazy: Facts can’t ‘stick.’ Authority loses control of the narrative. Conversations spiral sideways endlessly.
What is Emotional Flatness (or Superficial Charm) and why does it frustrate therapists and police?
Emotional Flatness / Charm: Staying polite, friendly, or detached instead of reacting emotionally.
Why it drives them crazy: Emotional hooks like guilt, empathy, or fear don’t work. The narcissist stays unreadable. Authority figures can’t create emotional momentum.
What is Strategic Stonewalling and why does it give counselors headaches?
Stonewalling: Offering minimal or noncommittal responses—shrugs, ‘I don’t know,’ long silences.
Why it drives them crazy: Breaks the expected flow of conversation. Drains the interviewer’s energy and focus. Authority feels powerless to ‘move the session forward.’
What is the False Confession Tactic and why does it trap authority figures?
False Confession: Admitting to something small and irrelevant to avoid the real accusation.
Why it drives them crazy: Appears cooperative on the surface. Shifts attention off the core issue. Authority wastes time chasing minor admissions.
What is Blame-Shifting and why does it destabilize therapists and police?
Blame-Shifting: Turning accusations back onto the questioner (e.g., ‘You’re projecting onto me’).
Why it drives them crazy: Forces the authority figure onto defense. Breaks the interview or session’s power balance. Creates emotional confusion and diffuses accountability.
What is Frame-Flipping in one sentence?
Frame-Flipping = Reversing the emotional or logical structure of a question so the burden shifts back onto the asker.
When someone implies you’re wrong or flawed (‘Why did you mess up?’), what’s a Frame-Flip response?
‘Are you assuming there was a mistake to begin with?’
Flips their assumption of guilt into questioning the premise itself.
When someone tries emotional bait (‘Don’t you feel guilty about that?’), how do you flip it?
‘What makes you think guilt is the most helpful reaction here?’
Shifts focus from your emotional reaction to questioning their emotional expectation.
If they frame you as selfish (‘Don’t you care about others?’), what’s the Operator flip?
‘Are you suggesting that boundaries equal selfishness?’
Exposes their emotional weaponization without defending yourself.
When someone implies you’re ‘resistant’ (‘Why are you avoiding this topic?’), how do you flip it?
‘Are you assuming that avoidance and discernment are the same thing?’
Challenges their emotional frame without apology.
If someone demands urgency (‘Why aren’t you taking action now?’), what’s a strong flip?
‘Is urgency more important than precision?’
Undermines their pace-setting and reasserts your tempo.
What is the emotional posture you must hold when flipping frames?
Stillness + Curiosity + No emotional leak.
Move like you’re gently lifting a veil—not swinging a sword.
What is the Operator Frame-Flipping Micro-Formula?
- Hear the pressure inside their question. 2. Pause 1–2 seconds. (Let the silence grow heavy.) 3. Question the hidden assumption behind their words. 4. Stay calm, neutral, slow—never defensive or rushed.
What is the Training Mantra?
‘I flip frames with curiosity, not defense. I turn pressure into inquiry. I am never inside a frame I didn’t choose.’
Trap: ‘You’re being guarded—that’s a problem.’
‘You make it sound like a bad thing.’
Trap: ‘Guardedness prevents healing.’
‘Couldn’t guardedness help healing as well?’
Trap: ‘Isolation leads to stagnation and disconnection.’
‘Is isolation always bad?’
Trap: ‘You should explore vulnerability—you might feel better.’
‘Is exploration always beneficial—or does discernment about when to explore matter just as much?’
Trap: ‘Connection is a gift you give others.’
‘If it’s obligated, it’s not a gift. Just like paying taxes to the IRS isn’t a gift.’
Trap: ‘Being seen brings peace.’
‘Being seen isn’t always peaceful. Privacy can be equally, if not more, peaceful.’
Trap: ‘Opening up could lighten your burden.’
‘You know, it’s worked so far. And we don’t mess with systems that work.’
Trap: ‘Staying too closed off could make you carry everything alone.’
‘Carrying my own process doesn’t automatically equal burden. Some loads strengthen rather than break.’
Summary Mantra
‘I question frames without anger. I reframe without apology. I create emotional architecture where I stand.’
What is Emotional Flatness in one line?
“Presenting a neutral emotional surface that reveals nothing involuntarily.”