Close Relationships Flashcards
What is a relationship?
Two people that have a mutual influence on each other and are interdependent.
What is a close relationship?
A relationship where there is frequent interaction over a long period of time, many different kinds of activities and events are shared, the influence on each other is strong, and strong emotions are aroused.
Profits in a relationship
The rewards minus the costs in a relationship
Norm of Reciprocity
When we receive rewards, we’re expected to return them. Also, when someone reveals something personal, we feel obligated to reply with a comparable disclosure.
Comparison Level
The baseline for what we feel we deserve. We evaluate our relationships based on past experiences and what we know about relationships from other sources.
Comparison Level Alt
Evaluating our relationships based on how our relationship compares to others that are currently available to us.
Equity Theory
Coordinates outcomes in regard to concerns with fairness in relationships. Each person’s profits are proportional to their contributions.
Conflict
A process that occurs when the actions of one member of the relationship interfere with the actions of the other.
Common Approaches to Resolve Conflict
- Voice, 2. Loyalty, 3. Neglect, 4. Exit.
(1)Voice
When couples voice their problems and try to compromise.
(2)Loyalty
A passive approach to problem-solving in which couples wait until the problem passes and hope things get better with time.
(3)Neglect
Partners spend less time with or ignore each other.
(4)Exit
When the relationship ends.
Constructive Approach
Resolving conflict through either voice or loyalty. Couples tend to continue their relationships.
Destructive Approach
Resolving conflict through either neglect or exit. Couples tend to end their relationships.
Self-disclosure
Sharing personal information and intimate feelings with another person.
Risk of Disclosure
Indifference, rejection, loss of control, and betrayal.
3 Major Themes of Love
Attachment, caring, trust & self-disclosure…caring is most important to being in love.
Passionate Love
Emotions are central, it involves uncontrollable passions, and there is a preoccupation with the other person. This type of love can strike very suddenly but fade very quickly.
Companionate Love
A practical type of love, in which emotions are moderate. Affection and warmth are emphasized. This is the basis for enduring relationships.
Paradox of Choice
Affects whom we like, whom we choose, and whether we stay; includes aspects such as proximity, similarity, reciprocity, competence, and physical attractiveness.
Gain-Loss Theory
Increases in positive, rewarding behavior from another person have more impact on us than does constantly rewarding behavior; losses in positive behavior have more impact than constant negative behavior from another person.
Gain Situation in Gain-Loss Theory
A person begins by disliking you and gradually comes to like you more.
Loss Situation in Gain-Loss Theory
A person begins by liking you and gradually begins to dislike you.
Exchange Relationships
The people involved are concerned about reciprocity and making sure that some sort of equity is achieved and that there is fairness in the distribution of the rewards and costs to each of the partners.
Communal Relationships
One in which neither of the partners is keeping score. Rather, the person will be inclined to give in response to the other’s need and will readily receive the same kind of care when he or she is feeling needy.
Secure Attachment
is characterized by rarely being jealous or worried about rejection; securely attached lovers are more compassionate and helpful and quicker to understand and forgive.
Anxious Attachment
Characterized by agitation about the relationship; anxiously attached lovers want to be close but worry that their partners will leave them.
Avoidant People
Tend to distrust and often avoid intimate attachments altogether; if in a relationship, tend to be distant.
The Porcupine’s Dilemma
The desire to achieve deep intimacy while remaining invulnerable to hurt.
Authenticity
Ability to give up trying to make a good impression and begin to reveal honest things about ourselves.
Straight Talk
A person’s clear statement of his or her feelings and concerns without accusing, blaming, judging, or ridiculing the other person.
