Chris Voss Flashcards
Tactical Empathy
In a salary negotiation, instead of pushing your offer, you focus on understanding why your employer may be reluctant to give a raise, and reflect that understanding back to them, saying, “It sounds like you’re concerned about budget constraints.”
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Mirroring
During a negotiation, when the other party says, “We can’t possibly meet that deadline,” you respond by mirroring: “The deadline?” This prompts them to elaborate and reveal more information.
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Labeling Emotions
In a tense conversation with a client, you say, “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated by the delay.” Labeling their emotions diffuses tension and builds rapport.
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Accusation Audit
Before a difficult meeting, you preemptively address potential complaints: “You might think we’re not delivering on time, or that we’re not taking your concerns seriously.” This disarms the other party by acknowledging their possible frustrations upfront.
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No-Oriented Questions
Instead of asking, “Is this a good time to talk?” you might ask, “Is it a bad time to talk?” By prompting a “no,” the other party feels more comfortable, as “no” feels safer than “yes” in negotiations.
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The “That’s Right” Moment
In a negotiation, after summarizing the other party’s point of view accurately, they respond with “That’s right,” which signals they feel understood and are more likely to be cooperative.
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Get to “No”
When negotiating, instead of pushing for a “yes,” you allow the other party to say “no” first, such as asking, “Do you think this option wouldn’t work for you?” This puts them in control and opens the conversation.
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Calibrated Questions
Instead of asking, “Can you give me a discount?” you ask, “How am I supposed to do that at this price?” This calibrated question shifts the responsibility of solving the issue to the other party, encouraging collaboration.
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The Late-Night FM DJ Voice
When a conversation becomes heated, you intentionally lower your voice to a calm, soothing tone. This defuses the situation and makes the other party more likely to calm down and listen.
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Bending Reality with Deadlines
In negotiations, instead of immediately caving to a deadline, you might ask, “What happens if we can’t meet that deadline?” This opens up the conversation and shows that the deadline might not be as rigid as it seems.
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Black Swan Moments
During negotiations, you stay alert for “Black Swans,” or hidden pieces of information that could change the dynamic of the deal. For instance, you learn the other party has a sudden shift in priorities, which changes their leverage.
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The Rule of Three
To ensure commitment, you ask the other party to confirm their agreement at least three times in different ways, like, “So, just to confirm, we’re aligned on this deadline?” and follow up with, “What steps do you think you’ll take to meet it?”
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Beware of “Yes,” Master “No”
Avoid pushing for a quick “yes,” and instead encourage a “no” that leads to productive discussions, like, “Would it be unreasonable to think we could come to an agreement by next week?”
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Anchoring with Extreme Offers
In a high-stakes business negotiation, you start with a high anchor offer that’s beyond what you expect, forcing the other party to adjust their expectations and possibly meet you in a favorable middle ground.
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The “Illusion of Control”
You use questions like, “How would you like to move forward?” to make the other party feel in control of the situation, even though you are subtly steering the direction of the conversation
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