chapter 4 Flashcards
functions of secrets
bonding avoiding external evaluations ensuring privacy protecting from outsiders isolate fam members
partners have equal status in the system
horizontal communication
partners have real or perceived power/status differences
vertical communication
networks are developed to
manage connection
key person channels info from one person to another
Y-network
one person is the clearing house for messages
wheel network
exchanges between and among all
all channel network
communication networks regulate our family
closeness and distance
two types of narratives
stories
accounts
- provide history
- sharing memories
- recounting immediate experiences
stories
- explanations
- reasons for behaviors
- reasons for a situation
accounts
functions of stories
- to remember
- to create belonging and family identity
- to teach expected behavior and deeply held values
- to develop family culture
- to provide stability across generations
- to entertain
___________ serve as the foundation for family identity
communication patterns
communication shapes and alters
family structure
communication forms a
relational culture
a relational culture is a
private world of rules, understandings, meaning, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create for their relationship
patterns are predictable interactions
rules of interaction and transmits these rules to new members
relationship agreements that prescribe and limit a family’s behavior over time
communication rules
rules are maintained or changed through
feedback
rules can establish
who can talk to whom
about what
when
rules about rules
metarules
purposely hidden info
creates and enforce internal and external boundaries
family secrets
types of secrets according to boundaries
whole family secrets
intrafamily secrets
individual secrets
family knows but outside world doesn’t
whole family secrets
known by subgroups of the family
intrafamily secret
known only by one member of the family
individual secret
purpose of surprise
time sensitive
sweet secrets
define relationships and boundaries
enhance relationships
the sharing of intimate info
essential secrets
untold family stories
may shape interactions between and within
may cause anxiety and be burdensome
toxic secrets
owners of the secret are in immediate danger
abuse threats of harm
dangerous
result of family rules
avoid topic or painful experience
original stories not passed on
missing stories
