Chapter 3: Starting with YOU: Understanding Yourself

Question 1

What is the starting point for building communication skills?

Answer 1

Self assessment

Question 2

What are some quality tools to assess your natural talents, attributes and life skills to grow your communication skills?

Answer 2

Strengths assessment

Emotional intelligence

Conflict management

Question 3

Positive Psychology movement

Answer 3

Focuses on the study of human strengths and virtues and the factors that contribute to a full and meaningful life

Question 4

What happens if you use your highest strengths?

Answer 4

You are more engaged, more productive, more successful, healthier, and happier

Question 5

Tools for measuring strengths

Answer 5

Clifton Strengths-Finder

Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA)

Question 6

Strength begins with what?

Answer 6

A talent

Question 7

Talent

Answer 7

a naturally recurring pattern of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be
productively applied

Question 8

Strengths

Answer 8

Strengths are defined as the ability to provide consistent,
near-perfect performance in a given activity

Question 9

Why identify and focus on strengths>

Answer 9

It is meant to balance the negative side of psychology

Question 10

Benefits of discovering your strengths

Answer 10

You will become more aware of your strengths and find new ways to apply them.
* Validates your uniqueness and builds confidence
* You will feelappreciation/thankfulness for your unique talents and how they effect your life.
* New excitement for life and your own potential
* New discernment for accepting or rejecting opportunities that fit or don’t fit your talents.
* You will be able to choose to do the things you can do best
— provides focus for your career and life.

Question 11

Emotional Intelligence

Answer 11

It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results

Question 12

Four domains of Emotional Intelligence

Answer 12

Self-awareness
* Self-management
* Social awareness
* Relationship management

Question 13

Self awareness

Answer 13

Know your story and how it affects you

Make peace with your past—practice forgiveness

Know your beliefs, your emotions, and your behavior patterns

Take time to identify your individual feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy in various situations.

Question 14

Self Management

Answer 14

Learn new stress management techniques that will help you stay
emotionally present in upsetting situations.

Learn skills for soothing and motivating yourself

Maintain healthy eating and exercise habits

Question 15

Social awareness

Answer 15

Work at understanding nonverbal social signals—focus
on the other person in interactions

• Develop a positive view of others
• Work at understanding the basic human emotional needs of your clients and colleagues
• Understand “games” people play and principles of personal integrity
• Discomfort when hearing others express certain views tells you something important about yourself.

Examine your responses and the reasons for them.

Question 16

Relationship management

Answer 16

Develop skills for reflective listening and developing your capacity for empathy

• Become aware of ways you use nonverbal communication
• Learn skills for healthy assertiveness
• Learn conflict resolution skills—see conflict as an opportunity to grow closer to others.
• Develop skills for support and affirmation of others— become an encourager
• Use humor and play to relieve stress

Question 17

Two ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence

Answer 17

1. Relationship management
2. Conflict Management

Question 18

Conflict

Answer 18

Conflict can be defined as a disagreement in values or beliefs within oneself or between people that causes harm or has the potential to cause harm

Question 19

What is considered a catalyst for change and may be needed for change?

Answer 19

Conflict

Question 20

Two basic choices for dealing with conflict

Answer 20

Assertiveness and cooperativeness

Question 21

Assertiveness

Answer 21

the degree to which you try to satisfy your own concerns

Question 22

Cooperativeness

Answer 22

the degree to which you try to satisfy the other person’s concerns

Question 23

Modes of Conflict Management

Answer 23

1. Competing
2. Collaborating
3. Compromising
4. Avoiding
5. Accommodating

Question 24

Competing (what are the two basic choices in play)

Answer 24

Assertive and uncooperative

Question 25

Competing

Answer 25

This person is determined to get their own way with no regard for the other person’s concern.

This results in a win-lose solution in which only one party gets their way.

Question 26

Collaborating (what are the two basic choices in play)

Answer 26

cooperative and assertive

Question 27

Collaborating

Answer 27

This is when the participants work together to find a solution
that satisfies both parties.

Collaboration usually requires extra
time and patience to reach the ideal, win-win solution.

Question 28

Compromising (what are the two basic choices in play)

Answer 28

an intermediate answer

Question 29

Compromising

Answer 29

Only partially satisfies both people’s concerns.
* Placed in the center of the space, midway on both axis.
* Each person gives in to some degree and loses some of what they
wanted in the process.
* This is considered a lose-lose solution since neither party really gets
what they wanted

Question 30

Avoiding (what are the two basic choices in play)

Answer 30

both unassertive and uncooperative

Question 31

Avoiding

Answer 31

The avoidant person doesn’t even air their concerns and the other
person gets whatever they wanted.

Considered a lose-win solution since the other person does get their
way.

Question 32

Accommodating (what are the two basic choices in play)

Answer 32

cooperative and unassertive

Question 33

Accommodating

Answer 33

Placed on the far right end of the cooperativeness axis and the low end of the assertiveness axis.
* This person chooses to consider the other person’s issues without asserting their own wants or needs.
* This is also considered a lose-win situation. The accommodator has chosen to satisfy the other persons
concerns at the expense of their own