Chapter 1 Key Terms and Summary

Question 1

knowledge

Answer 1

Intimate partners have extensive personal and often confidential knowledge about each other.

Question 2

interdependence

Answer 2

the extent to which they need and influence each
other—is frequent (they often affect each other), strong (they have meaningful impact
on each other), diverse (they influence each other in many different ways), and
enduring (they influence each other over long periods of time).

Question 3

caring

Answer 3

they feel more affection for one another
than they do for most others.

Question 4

trust

Answer 4

expecting to be treated fairly
and honorably. People expect that no undue harm will
result from their intimate relationships, and if it does, they often become wary and
reduce the openness and interdependence that characterize closeness

Question 5

responsiveness

Answer 5

Responsiveness is power-
fully rewarding, and the perception that our partners recognize, understand, and sup-
port our needs and wishes is a core ingredient of our very best relationships

Question 6

mutuality

Answer 6

They recognize their close connection and think of
themselves as “us” instead of “me” and “him”

Question 7

need to belong

Answer 7

There is a human need to belong

Question 8

commitment

Answer 8

That is,
they expect their partnerships to continue indefinitely, and they invest the time, effort,
and resources that are needed to realize that goal.

Question 9

singlism

Answer 9

It refers to prejudice and dis-
crimination against those who choose to
remain single and opt not to devote them-
selves to a primary romantic relationship.

Question 10

technoference

Answer 10

the
frequent interruptions of their interactions that are
caused by their various technological devices

Question 11

phubbing

Answer 11

which occurs when
one partner snubs another by focusing on a phone

Question 12

sex ratio

Answer 12

a simple count of the number of men for
every 100 women in a specific population. When the sex ratio is high, there are more
men than women; when it is low, there are fewer men than women.

Question 13

attachment styles

Answer 13

the global orientations toward relationships
known as attachment styles.

Question 14

anxious-ambivalent

Answer 14

For some, attentive care was
unpredictable and inconsistent. Their caregivers were warm and interested on some
occasions but distracted, anxious, or unavailable on others. These children thus developed fretful, mixed feelings about others known as anxious-­ ambivalent attachments.
Being uncertain of when (or if) a departing caregiver would return, such children
became nervous, clingy, and needy in their relationships with others.

Question 15

secure

Answer 15

Children that found responsive care and protection readily available from parents. They happily bonded with others and relied on them comfortably, and they readily developed
relationships characterized by relaxed trust.

Question 16

avoidant

Answer 16

care was provided reluctantly by rejecting or hostile adults. Such children learned that little good came from depending on others, and they withdrew from others with an avoidant style of attachment. Avoidant
children were often suspicious of others, and they did not easily form trusting, close
relationships

Question 17

secure attachment

Answer 17

remained the same as the secure style identi-
fied in children

Question 18

preoccupied attachment

Answer 18

preoccupied style, was a new name for anxious ambiva-
lence

Question 19

fearful attachment

Answer 19

­ Fearful
people avoided intimacy with others because of their fears of rejection. Although they
wanted others to like them, they worried about the risks of relying on others.

Question 20

dismissing attachment

Answer 20

people with a dismissing style felt that intimacy with others just wasn’t worth the
trouble. Dismissing people rejected interdependency with others because they felt self-
sufficient, and they didn’t care much whether others liked them or not

Question 21

avoidance of intimacy

Answer 21

avoidance of intimacy, which affects the ease and trust with which they accept interdependent
intimacy with others. People who are comfortable and relaxed in close relationships are low in avoidance, whereas those who distrust others, value their independence, and keep
their emotional distance are high in avoidance

Question 22

anxiety about abandonment

Answer 22

anxiety about abandonment, the dread that others will find them unworthy and
leave them.

Question 23

gender roles

Answer 23

gender roles, the patterns of behavior that are
culturally expected of “normal” men and women.

Question 24

androgynous

Answer 24

Such people possess both sets of the competencies that are stereotypically
associated with being male and with being female, and are said to be androgynous.

Question 25

instrumental traits

Answer 25

the “masculine” task-oriented talents as instrumental traits

Question 26

expressive traits

Answer 26

the “feminine” social and emotional skills as expressive traits

Question 27

open-mindedness

Answer 27

the degree to which peo- ple are imaginative, curious, unconventional, and artistic versus conforming, uncreative, and stodgy.

Question 28

extraversion.

Answer 28

the extent to which people are gregarious, assertive, and sociable versus cau- tious, reclusive, and shy.

Question 29

conscientiousness

Answer 29

the extent to which peo- ple are dutiful, dependable, ­ responsible, and orderly versus unreliable, disorganized, and careless.

Question 30

agreeableness

Answer 30

the degree to which people are compassionate, cooperative, good-natured, and trusting versus suspicious, selfish, and hostile.

Question 31

negative emotionality

Answer 31

—the degree to which people are prone to fluctuating moods and high levels of negative emotion such as worry, anxiety, and anger.

Question 32

selfishness

Question 33

humility

Answer 33

Negatively related to (but distinct from) selfishness is humility. Humble people think that “no matter how extraordinary one’s accomplishments or characteristics may be, one is not entitled” to special treatment from others

Question 34

self-esteem

Answer 34

Negatively related to (but distinct from) selfishness is humility. Humble people think that “no matter how extraordinary one’s accomplishments or characteristics may be, one is not entitled” to special treatment from others

Question 35

sociometer

Answer 35

A leading theory argues that self- esteem is a subjective gauge, a sociometer, that measures the quality of our relationships

Question 36

parental investment

Answer 36

These biological differences in men’s and women’s obligatory parental investment—the time, energy, and resources one must provide to one’s offspring in order to reproduce—may have supported the evolution of different strategies for selecting mates

Question 37

paternity uncertainty

Answer 37

a man suffers pater- nity uncertainty; unless he is completely confident that his mate has been faithful to him, he cannot be absolutely certain that her child is his

Question 38

The Nature of Intimacy

Answer 38

Intimate relationships differ from more casual associa- tions in at least seven specific ways: knowledge, interdependence, caring, trust, responsive- ness, mutuality, and commitment.

Question 39

The Need to Belong

Answer 39

Humans display a need to belong, a drive to maintain regular interaction with affectionate, intimate partners. Adverse consequences may follow if the need remains unfulfilled over time.

Question 40

The Influence of Culture

Answer 40

Cultural norms regarding relationships in the United States have changed dra- matically over the last 50 years. Fewer people are marrying than ever before, and those who do marry wait longer to do so. People routinely cohabit, and that often makes a future divorce more, not less, likely.

Question 41

Sources of Change

Answer 41

Economic changes, increasing individualism, and new technol- ogy contribute to cultural change. So does the sex ratio; cultures with high sex ratios are characterized by traditional roles for men and women, whereas low sex ratios are correlated with more permissive behavior.

Question 42

The Influence of Experience

Answer 42

Children’s interactions with their caregivers produce different styles of attachment. Four styles—secure, preoccupied, fearful, and dismissing—which differ in avoidance of intimacy and anxiety about abandonment, are now recognized. These orientations are mostly learned. Thus, our beliefs about the nature and worth of close relationships are shaped by our experiences within them.

Question 43

The Influence of Individual Differences

Answer 43

There’s wide variation in people’s abilities and preferences, but individual differ- ences are usually gradual and subtle instead of abrupt.

Question 44

Sex Differences

Answer 44

Despite lay beliefs that men and women are quite different, most sex differences are quite small. The range of variation among members of a given sex is always large compared to the average difference between the sexes, and the overlap of the sexes is so substantial that many members of one sex will always score higher than the average member of the other sex. Thus, the sexes are much more similar than different on most of the topics of interest to relationship science.

Question 45

Gender Differences

Answer 45

Gender differences refer to social and psychological distinctions that are taught to people by their cultures. Men are expected to be dominant and assertive, women to be warm and emotionally expressive—but a third of us are androgynous and pos- sess both instrumental, task-oriented skills and expressive, social and emotional talents. Men and women who adhere to traditional gender roles do not like each other, either at first meeting or later during a marriage, as much as less stereotyped, androgynous people do.

Question 46

Personality

Answer 46

Personality traits are stable tendencies that characterize people’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior across their whole lives. Open-mindedness, extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness help produce pleasant relationships, but negative emotionality undermines one’s contentment

Question 47

Self-Esteem

Answer 47

What we think of ourselves emerges from our interactions with oth- ers. The sociometer theory argues that if others regard us positively, self-esteem is high, but if others don’t want to associate with us, self-esteem is low. People who have low self-esteem undermine and sabotage their close relationships by underestimating their partners’ love for them and overreacting to imagined threats.

Question 48

Sexual Orientation

Answer 48

Lesbians and gays experience intimacy in the same ways that heterosexuals do, but often enjoy relationships that are more satisfying; there may be advantages—greater equality, better communication, more respect—in having a partner of the same sex. Bisexuals elicit more suspicion, but they, too, prosper in loving relationships.

Question 49

The Influence of Human Nature

Answer 49

An evolutionary perspective assumes that sexual selection shapes humankind, influenced, in part, by sex differences in parental investment and paternity uncertainty. The sexes pursue different mates when they’re interested in a long, committed relation- ship than they do when they’re interested in a short-term affair. The evolutionary perspective also assumes that cultural influences determine whether inherited habits are still adaptive—and some of them may not be.

Question 50

The Influence of Interaction

Answer 50

Relationships result from the combinations of their participants’ histories and talents, and thus are often more than the sum of their parts. Relationships are fluid processes rather than static entities.

Question 51

The Dark Side of Relationships

Answer 51

There are potential costs, as well as rewards, to intimacy. So why take the risk? Because we are a social species, and we need each other.