Ch. 8 - Liking, Loving, and Connecting Flashcards
Pro-Beauty Bias
When someone is physically more attractive, we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Comparison Level for Alternatives
We calculate a person’s value as a friend or romantic partner partly by comparing what they bring to us with what we might get from other potential friends or romantic partners.
Paradox of Choice
Affects whom we like, whom we choose, and whether we stay; includes aspects such as proximity, similarity, reciprocity, competence, and physical attractiveness.
Pratfall Effect
A phenomenon in which even though a person has a high degree of competence, some evidence of fallibility increases his/her attractiveness.
**Think of how we don’t like perfect people. If they are shown to be competent but have flaws, then we like them the best. From most to least attractive:
1. The superior person who committed a blunder was rated most attractive;
2. The perfect person with no blunder was second in attractiveness;
3. The mediocre person with no blunder finished third;
4. The average person who committed the same blunder was rated least attractive.
Gain-Loss Theory
Increases in positive, rewarding behavior from another person have more impact on us than does constantly rewarding behavior; losses in positive behavior have more impact than constant negative behavior from another person.
Gain Situation in Gain-Loss Theory
A person begins by disliking you and gradually comes to like you more.
Loss Situation in Gain-Loss Theory
A person begins by liking you and gradually begins to dislike you.
Exchange Relationships
The people involved are concerned about reciprocity and making sure that some sort of equity is achieved and that there is fairness in the distribution of the rewards and costs to each of the partners.
Ex). Being calculative/keeping score with what you ate according to the bill.
» Someone who counts every little thing they give and every little thing they get back is telling the other person that they want an exchange relationship rather than a communal one
Communal Relationships
One in which neither of the partners is keeping score. Rather, the person will be inclind to give in response to the other’s need an will readily receive the same kind of care when he or she is feeling needy.
Passionate Love
Love that is characterized by strong emotions, sexual desire, and intense preoccupation with the beloved.
Companionate Love
Love that is a milder, more stable experience marked by feelings of mutual trust, dependability, and warmth; lasts longer and deepens over time.
Secure Attachment
Characterized by rarely being jealous or worried about rejction; securely attached lovers are more compassionate and helpful and quicker to understand and forgive.
Anxious Attachment
Characterized by agitation about the relationship; anxiously attached lovers want to be close but worry that their partners will leave them.
Avoidant People
Tend to distrust and often avoid intimate attachments altogether; if in a relationship, tend to be distant.
The Porcupine’s Dilemma
The desire to achieve deep intimacy while remaining invulnerable to hurt.
» But, despite goodwill, human interaction cannot occur without substantial mutual harm.
